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The Squirrels vs. The Church
Jun 6, 2017 13:48:20   #
Squiddiddler Loc: Phoenix
 
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do
about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they
concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they
shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the
baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked
the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice
as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm
any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and
set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels
were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They
baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the
church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first
squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.

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Jun 6, 2017 14:22:42   #
pafret Loc: Northeast
 
Squiddiddler wrote:
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do
about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they
concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they
shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the
baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked
the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice
as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm
any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and
set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels
were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They
baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the
church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first
squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide... (show quote)




Those Jews are the world's greatest optimists, they are forever trimming something off before they know if its going to be big enough.

Reply
Jun 7, 2017 18:13:35   #
bggamers Loc: georgia
 
Squiddiddler wrote:
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do
about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they
concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they
shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the
baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked
the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice
as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm
any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and
set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels
were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They
baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the
church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first
squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide... (show quote)



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