Mr Bombastic

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans, thy sons and their wives."




He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -- but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed.

"I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

"Then the Department of T***sportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls -- but no go!



"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. I am required to apply for 834 different licenses to keep wild beasts on private property.

"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood. Further, the pitch to water-proof the ark has been banned by the EPA as inimical to the environment.

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

"Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The scaffolding to build the superstructure is not OSHA-approved and is forbidden to use except for private structures less than 5 cubits..

"The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.



"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 100 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?".

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

E

Well said

Rainrider Loc: Lovington NM

Seen this when it was going around in email. Sad thing is, it isn't getting any better today.

EL Loc: Massachusetts

Gets worse all the time with new laws and restrictions being made daily. I'm surprised we're allowed to breathe without a permit. The government exists to find something new to restrict or charge us for each day.

Hogback

Over population was not the reason or even had anything to do with why God flooded the earth. It was sin only not over population!! Just saying. Let's keep it real.

Mr Bombastic

It was a joke. Reality would be an impediment.

E

Remember that governments want a carbon tax on industry. Every time you exhale, you exhale Carbon Dioxide. Every bit as bad as factories, etc. Soon they will have a carbon tax on large families. Might help a little to curb over population. ;-)

cheers

the waker Loc: 11th freest nation

Thats about spot on...😄

Rainrider Loc: Lovington NM

Wasn't there some talk about a cow fart tax? LOL ok it wasn't called that it was just a tax on having livestock, do their emissions. LOL Same thing in my mind. I need to see if I can find vitrifaction on that one.

Mr Bombastic

It's true. Those i***ts in C****efornia thought up that one. They claim the methane from the farts is causing g****l w*****g, despite having no scientific evidence to support such a claim. Liberalism. It's a mental disease.

E

The funny thing about cow farts is what causes them. They are vegetarians, or vegans, wh**ever. That is all they eat. And it produces methane gas. Think about that the next time you are at a party and someone farts. Look for the vegan in the crowd and start pointing. Just pure science.

cheers

Mr Bombastic

You're a nut. Lol

E

Sometime we need a little laugh to get us to settle down.

cheers