"Dog Diary, Cat Diary"
May 31, 2017 11:08:10 #
"Dog Diary, Cat Diary"
"Dog Diary, Cat Diary"
- Author Unknown
"Dog Diary:
7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM -Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Cat Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little h****r' I am. B*st*rds!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously r****ded."
"Too Uncomfortable..."
"Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told- and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings fight for their 'beliefs.' The reason is that beliefs guide behavior, which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion."
- Michael Crichton, "The Lost World"
"Dog Diary, Cat Diary"
- Author Unknown
"Dog Diary:
7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM -Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Cat Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little h****r' I am. B*st*rds!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously r****ded."
"Too Uncomfortable..."
"Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told- and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings fight for their 'beliefs.' The reason is that beliefs guide behavior, which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion."
- Michael Crichton, "The Lost World"
Jun 1, 2017 21:18:47 #
DOG DIARY
Peeing on the flowers: My favorite thing
Relieving myself in my neighbor's yard: My favorite thing
Sniffing humans behind: My favorite thing
Rolling in something rotten and stinky: My favorite thing
Tracking mud into the house: My favorite thing
Shedding and slobbering all over the furniture: My favorite thing
Growling at strangers: My favorite thing
Distracting my driver by barking at everything on my ride: My favorite thing
Growing ticks the size of mothballs: My favorite thing
Humping everything in sight: My favorite thing
Biting fleas and making d********g noises: My favorite thing
Showing love and loyalty to my person at every turn: My favorite thing
CAT DIARY
Snoozing quietly in a secluded hideaway: My favorite thing
Eating Fancy Feast at every meal: My favorite thing
Chasing fast moving objects: My favorite thing
Catching house mice for my person: My favorite thing
Purring when I'm content: My favorite thing
Challenging the dogs who wander into my yard: My favorite thing
Scratching their noses if they come closer: My favorite thing
Sharpening my claws on the furniture: My favorite thing
Snuggling in my person's lap: My favorite thing
Cuddling with my person: My favorite thing
Sleeping on the bed: My favorite thing
Using my litter box and covering everything well: My favorite thing
Employing impeccable personal hygiene: My favorite thing
Getting a belly rub: My favorite thing
Peeing on the flowers: My favorite thing
Relieving myself in my neighbor's yard: My favorite thing
Sniffing humans behind: My favorite thing
Rolling in something rotten and stinky: My favorite thing
Tracking mud into the house: My favorite thing
Shedding and slobbering all over the furniture: My favorite thing
Growling at strangers: My favorite thing
Distracting my driver by barking at everything on my ride: My favorite thing
Growing ticks the size of mothballs: My favorite thing
Humping everything in sight: My favorite thing
Biting fleas and making d********g noises: My favorite thing
Showing love and loyalty to my person at every turn: My favorite thing
CAT DIARY
Snoozing quietly in a secluded hideaway: My favorite thing
Eating Fancy Feast at every meal: My favorite thing
Chasing fast moving objects: My favorite thing
Catching house mice for my person: My favorite thing
Purring when I'm content: My favorite thing
Challenging the dogs who wander into my yard: My favorite thing
Scratching their noses if they come closer: My favorite thing
Sharpening my claws on the furniture: My favorite thing
Snuggling in my person's lap: My favorite thing
Cuddling with my person: My favorite thing
Sleeping on the bed: My favorite thing
Using my litter box and covering everything well: My favorite thing
Employing impeccable personal hygiene: My favorite thing
Getting a belly rub: My favorite thing
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