AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

We discussed wedding bands. This should be equally interesting.

Mollie Hemingway
Should married women change their names?

Most of my friends happily change their names and somehow overcome the patriarchal oppression behind it. Other friends have gone with hyphenation (don’t do it!), a double last name or retention of a maiden name. All for a variety of reasons. I myself rather like the Spanish naming conventions and wish I had a lengthy name like this one. But here’s what I don’t get about “don’t change your name” feminism.

1) How is using the name your father and his patriarchal privilege forced on you somehow less oppressive than taking the name of the man you chose to be your husband and the father of your children?

2) If a feminist solution is to give one’s children hyphenated names, how does this work out in subsequent generations? Let’s say you’re Apple Blickensderfer and you’ve married Moonshine Pollowitz. Your children include one Wilhelmina Blickensderfer-Pollowitz. She meets the love of her life who also has a hyphenated name, Jayden Raaf-Immergut. Their children are then …. what … Olivia and Victor Blickensderfer-Pollowitz–Raaf-Immergut? I know someone who said his cousin’s grandkid does indeed have a surname with three hyphens because of exactly this phenomenon.

Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA

Good one!! I'm going to give food for thought here.

My last name (maiden) and my husband's last name, second marriage for us both -- the same!! We ARE NOT related!! So, I became (FIRST) after my divorce from #1 kept my first husband's (last name) -- did not want to differentiate my son's last name from mine. Husband #2, will definitely be the LAST one -- so I became (very cumbersome) maiden last name + first hubby's last name (so my son wouldn't feel left out) + same as my maiden name/hubby #2's name. Even the minister who married us had to do a second marriage certificate. For a very long time though, I only used my first husband's last name -- but not #2's last name, because I had real issues with my dad. Hubby #2 finally said he was insulted by my not using "his" last name. I said at that point in time, "did you "consider that while I love my dad, I am not overly fond of him, the man you share a last name with?" He was shocked by that one!!

I say use WH**EVER last name you are comfortable with/wh**ever relationship you are comfortable with. Yes, I gave up. However, I might even suggest that an individual and hubby pick a name that is something of a blend of even middle names if he is willing -- give the children THAT name. A lot of cultures take on the matriarchal name as opposed to patriarchal. My thought -- both last names don't work. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

oldroy Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)

I just finished reading these two posts and am so confused that I think I will pass commenting other than to say that before the female activists of the early 60s got started life was much simpler than today.

USpatriot77 Loc: USA

The "feminine uprising" of the 60's certainly did throw a monkey-wrench into the works, didn't it? I will probably some "nasty" retorts back from that post, don't you think? LOL

:shock: :roll: :thumbup:

Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA

Well, they don't call it feminine mystique for nothin' :mrgreen: Yeah, it's confusing for me too!!

Constitutional libertarian Loc: St Croix National Scenic River Way

OMG, so I got married last fall and thought we had gotten all of my wife's last married name off of everything. Until last night trying book plane tickets under her account that still had her previous last name. Could be interesting getting her through the TSA check point.

Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA

What does her driver's license say?

USpatriot77 Loc: USA

It says the same as mine-"I'm with her"!LOL

oldroy Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)

The TSA people will surely demand to be allowed to feel her up to determine which last name belongs to her. They do seem to act like that most of the time.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

In exchange for her taking my last name, the Sgt. Major deems it her right/privilege to call me all sorts of 'names', in return!

I call her 'darling'. 'Precious' was too saccharine- sounding. :roll:

USpatriot77 Loc: USA

If your SM is as tough as mine, then, the first word that comes to my mind is , "WHOOPED"! But, I will NEVER in this lifetime admit to it to her!

:shock: :thumbup:

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

I am going to tell...I am going to tell....ha ha ha! :mrgreen: :twisted:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Ha ha ha? What the!

Where is the heh...heh...heh? :hunf:

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

It is reserved for ........hmmmm..... :mrgreen: :twisted:

cesspool jones Loc: atlanta

auntiE, i believe itz because they read cosmopolition magazine. and for that post last night...i didn't read 'plilosophys man' post before i put that out. i apoligized to him and once again...i'm sorry.