The Castaway
May 11, 2017 15:36:04 #
One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long it’s been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the Scotsman.
With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long d**g and says, “Och - in the name of the wee man is that good!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good scotch?" she asks him.
Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"
"It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long it’s been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the Scotsman.
With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long d**g and says, “Och - in the name of the wee man is that good!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good scotch?" she asks him.
Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"
May 12, 2017 13:23:36 #
May 13, 2017 03:43:26 #
Alicia
Loc: NYC
F.D.R. wrote:
Now THAT would make a great movie
********************
Great one. thanks. I plan to pass it on.
May 13, 2017 09:12:45 #
Onelostdog wrote:
One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a des... (show quote)
Do you play golf??
May 13, 2017 09:37:11 #
lindajoy wrote:
Do you play golf??
I play shotgun golf with my 12gauge when ever I can sneak onto a club golf range. For some reason they don't much like me there, they been carrying those small balls around for so long they ain't got no sense of humor left I guess. 
May 13, 2017 22:34:04 #
Onelostdog wrote:
img src="https://static.onepoliticalplaza.com/ima... (show quote)
lolololollll, dogggggggg..You are a r**t!!! I'm loven the visual here!!!!
12 gauge shotgun play, now that is really imaginative..lololololololol
Bet you never loose, either..
I don't either because you see, I have mo mulligans, they are hole in one..No bush or brush balls, those are free shots on the green...
Plus at the beginning of the game all must agree regardless of anyone else's score I am always 2 under~~~~ta daaaaaaaa
Always nice to see you, dog..Hope you doing well..When exactly do you start your treatments??This week??
May 14, 2017 01:48:52 #
lindajoy wrote:
lolololollll, dogggggggg..You are a r**t!!! I'm lo... (show quote)
They start on May 21st with or without me. Be interesting to see just how fast these next 6 or 7 weeks will go. Ah what the hell let the good times roll could be the only sane way to look at it. My damn tattooist refused to put another tattoo on my arm, said my skin is too OLD and has become to much of a thin prune, won't take the ink right he said. Damn lucky I like that kid or I would have given him a new one, that and if I could have found an open place on his body to put one.
Well I guess the pic of my ink wont work, just another OH WELL in life I guess.
May 14, 2017 09:21:36 #
Onelostdog wrote:
They start on May 21st with or without me. Be inte... (show quote)
I got it~~"I Am The Storm" right?? Love the Eagle..I couldn't get it to open here as I was going to post it but it did download...Pretty dang cool!!!!
Your guy sounds honest and looking out for you!! You don't find that much they usually only think money...Can see why you like him!!!
OK on the May 21st, put in my files ..Love your attitude, dog, gotta just roll with it is right!!!
May 14, 2017 10:22:56 #
lindajoy wrote:
I got it~~"I Am The Storm" right?? Love the Eagle..I couldn't get it to open here as I was going to post it but it did download...Pretty dang cool!!!!
Your guy sounds honest and looking out for you!! You don't find that much they usually only think money...Can see why you like him!!!
OK on the May 21st, put in my files ..Love your attitude, dog, gotta just roll with it is right!!!
Your guy sounds honest and looking out for you!! You don't find that much they usually only think money...Can see why you like him!!!
OK on the May 21st, put in my files ..Love your attitude, dog, gotta just roll with it is right!!!
I don't much mind the rolling with the punches Linda it's the times in life someone/something wants ya too bend over that peeves me off, at my age I don't bend all that well anymore. I'm about as flexible as a f**g staff on a still day.
May 14, 2017 14:53:40 #
Onelostdog wrote:
I don't much mind the rolling with the punches Linda it's the times in life someone/something wants ya too bend over that peeves me off, at my age I don't bend all that well anymore. I'm about as flexible as a f**g staff on a still day.
A good thing you say, dog..we have " bent" over far too much!!
Heyyy, enjoy baseball?? Thought I'd share when I'm at right now.. My son brought to the rockies game.. Rockies vs Dodgers..,..
Now ya gotta be for Rockies, ok????
See the truck?? Goes to a lucky Mother today at half time..
May 14, 2017 15:10:04 #
lindajoy wrote:
A good thing you say, dog..we have " bent" over far too much!!
Heyyy, enjoy baseball?? Thought I'd share when I'm at right now.. My son brought to the rockies game.. Rockies vs Dodgers..,..
Now ya gotta be for Rockies, ok????
Heyyy, enjoy baseball?? Thought I'd share when I'm at right now.. My son brought to the rockies game.. Rockies vs Dodgers..,..
Now ya gotta be for Rockies, ok????
The Rockies are just fine with me, goooo Rockies goooo. Great son you got there, Mine sent me a well nothing but then it is Mothers Day not Fathers Day ain't it. Oh and that car could be mine, I mean I am lucky from time to time and lots of people have called me a MOTHER in my lifetime so I kinda qualify for it. Have a wonderful day today and oh ya HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
May 14, 2017 15:16:34 #
Onelostdog wrote:
The Rockies are just fine with me, goooo Rockies goooo. Great son you got there, Mine sent me a well nothing but then it is Mothers Day not Fathers Day ain't it. Oh and that car could be mine, I mean I am lucky from time to time and lots of people have called me a MOTHER in my lifetime so I kinda qualify for it. Have a wonderful day today and oh ya HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
I'm hugging you,dog... Thank You, for the beautiful bouquet... 💋
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