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I have bigger problems than politics
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May 1, 2017 11:40:03   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
I came home from work this morning wanting to take a nap, only to find curtain rods on the bed with a note telling me to hang them on the bedroom windows. How high do I hang them? How wide do I hang them? There is no way I can get this right unsupervised!
To make matters worse, there is a sham on my favorite pillow!! I can't sleep on that without losing my man card!! Also, my favorite egg flipping spatula has been replaced with an unfamiliar utensil which is unproven in its performance. My shoes are in the closet where they DON'T belong, and I don't have my own drawer in the bathroom any more!!
I'm scared to look around any more than I have allready!
I can't talk politics until this crisis is resolved....

Reply
May 1, 2017 11:47:03   #
EL Loc: Massachusetts
 
archie bunker wrote:
I came home from work this morning wanting to take a nap, only to find curtain rods on the bed with a note telling me to hang them on the bedroom windows. How high do I hang them? How wide do I hang them? There is no way I can get this right unsupervised!
To make matters worse, there is a sham on my favorite pillow!! I can't sleep on that without losing my man card!! Also, my favorite egg flipping spatula has been replaced with an unfamiliar utensil which is unproven in its performance. My shoes are in the closet where they DON'T belong, and I don't have my own drawer in the bathroom any more!!
I'm scared to look around any more than I have allready!
I can't talk politics until this crisis is resolved....
I came home from work this morning wanting to take... (show quote)


Are you in the right house??

Reply
May 1, 2017 11:48:03   #
Rivers
 
archie bunker wrote:
I came home from work this morning wanting to take a nap, only to find curtain rods on the bed with a note telling me to hang them on the bedroom windows. How high do I hang them? How wide do I hang them? There is no way I can get this right unsupervised!
To make matters worse, there is a sham on my favorite pillow!! I can't sleep on that without losing my man card!! Also, my favorite egg flipping spatula has been replaced with an unfamiliar utensil which is unproven in its performance. My shoes are in the closet where they DON'T belong, and I don't have my own drawer in the bathroom any more!!
I'm scared to look around any more than I have allready!
I can't talk politics until this crisis is resolved....
I came home from work this morning wanting to take... (show quote)


Go outside and check the house number, you may be in the wrong house.

Reply
 
 
May 1, 2017 11:48:48   #
bahmer
 
archie bunker wrote:
I came home from work this morning wanting to take a nap, only to find curtain rods on the bed with a note telling me to hang them on the bedroom windows. How high do I hang them? How wide do I hang them? There is no way I can get this right unsupervised!
To make matters worse, there is a sham on my favorite pillow!! I can't sleep on that without losing my man card!! Also, my favorite egg flipping spatula has been replaced with an unfamiliar utensil which is unproven in its performance. My shoes are in the closet where they DON'T belong, and I don't have my own drawer in the bathroom any more!!
I'm scared to look around any more than I have allready!
I can't talk politics until this crisis is resolved....
I came home from work this morning wanting to take... (show quote)


You must have a new woman at your house or your mother-in-law has just arrived for a month long stay.

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May 1, 2017 11:49:32   #
Rivers
 
bahmer wrote:
You must have a new woman at your house or your mother-in-law has just arrived for a month long stay.



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May 1, 2017 12:39:44   #
F.D.R.
 
Archie, if you EVER want to get laid again you'd better learn to accept the new house rules. In this case, defending your turf is a no win situation. If you find this situation untenable, smile and make a strategic retreat. This is what happens when you forget to dot your I's and cross your T's in the diplomatic phase. Now it appears that, sensing an opening, a shot has been fired across your bow. Good luck.

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May 1, 2017 12:41:05   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
EL wrote:
Are you in the right house??


Unfortunately, yes. We bought a new one.

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May 1, 2017 12:48:01   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
EL wrote:
Are you in the right house??

The Bunkers have moved into a new home. Normalcy probably has not arrived quite yet.

Let us pray for Archie.

Reply
May 1, 2017 12:57:11   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
F.D.R. wrote:
Archie, if you EVER want to get laid again you'd better learn to accept the new house rules. In this case, defending your turf is a no win situation. If you find this situation untenable, smile and make a strategic retreat. This is what happens when you forget to dot your I's and cross your T's in the diplomatic phase. Now it appears that, sensing an opening, a shot has been fired across your bow. Good luck.


I see many improvements coming to my barn in the near future! I wanted to build a barndomenium to begin with, but lost that battle. I already have a plan for the plumbing, and most of the material. I need a urinal now!

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May 1, 2017 13:20:40   #
out of the woods Loc: to hell and gone New York State
 
Just wait till your retired. I sometimes struggle when my husband has a day off, as I can't get anything done and he creates pockets of chaos, I call him a blot on my landscape, I dont get those few hours of serenity, of ordered peace after cleaning up the previous days mess. The spatula was probably unsightly or scratched the non stick pans, put away your shoes so she doesn't trip on them again or have to move them when vacuuming. Buy two new pillows for shams, put old pillows in cases, and hang the damn curtain. After that take your wife out to dinner, shes been cooking and cleaning for your household for many years and deserves a break.

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May 1, 2017 13:58:12   #
JimMe
 
archie bunker wrote:
I came home from work this morning wanting to take a nap, only to find curtain rods on the bed with a note telling me to hang them on the bedroom windows. How high do I hang them? How wide do I hang them? There is no way I can get this right unsupervised!
To make matters worse, there is a sham on my favorite pillow!! I can't sleep on that without losing my man card!! Also, my favorite egg flipping spatula has been replaced with an unfamiliar utensil which is unproven in its performance. My shoes are in the closet where they DON'T belong, and I don't have my own drawer in the bathroom any more!!
I'm scared to look around any more than I have allready!
I can't talk politics until this crisis is resolved....
I came home from work this morning wanting to take... (show quote)




archie bunker...

What you have to do is understand... You will be playing Politics the rest of your life... Unfortunately, you need to come to grips with the fact that you're the Minority Party and your wife is the Majority Party in the Congress of your Household... You're the Vice-President of your domicile and your wife is the President... You're a Justice in your Family Judicial System and your wife is the Chief Justice... You hold sway over your children, but can be overridden by your wife at any time...

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May 1, 2017 14:07:38   #
Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton
 
archie bunker wrote:
I came home from work this morning wanting to take a nap, only to find curtain rods on the bed with a note telling me to hang them on the bedroom windows. How high do I hang them? How wide do I hang them? There is no way I can get this right unsupervised!
To make matters worse, there is a sham on my favorite pillow!! I can't sleep on that without losing my man card!! Also, my favorite egg flipping spatula has been replaced with an unfamiliar utensil which is unproven in its performance. My shoes are in the closet where they DON'T belong, and I don't have my own drawer in the bathroom any more!!
I'm scared to look around any more than I have allready!
I can't talk politics until this crisis is resolved....
I came home from work this morning wanting to take... (show quote)


Are you sure you're in the right house? Don't laugh, I had a guy turned up in my bedroom in the middle of the night and thought he was in his own house. I woke up to find this guy standing over my bed. Scared the bejeebers out of me and almost got him shot. Turns out he lived next door and we had identical door keys. What are the odds?

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May 1, 2017 14:25:55   #
out of the woods Loc: to hell and gone New York State
 
JimMe wrote:
archie bunker...

What you have to do is understand... You will be playing Politics the rest of your life... Unfortunately, you need to come to grips with the fact that you're the Minority Party and your wife is the Majority Party in the Congress of your Household... You're the Vice-President of your domicile and your wife is the President... You're a Justice in your Family Judicial System and your wife is the Chief Justice... You hold sway over your children, but can be overridden by your wife at any time...
archie bunker... br br What you have to do is und... (show quote)


Spoken with wisdom. I may scrub the toilets around here, but this is my domain. If I say the ketchup goes in the refrigerator on the door, by the mustard, that is precisely where I want to find it, unless I put it somewhere else. Any deviation will be met with swift judgement and harping, untill I feel better. Then the ketchup will go back in the cabinet.

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May 1, 2017 14:56:42   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
archie bunker wrote:
I came home from work this morning wanting to take a nap, only to find curtain rods on the bed with a note telling me to hang them on the bedroom windows. How high do I hang them? How wide do I hang them? There is no way I can get this right unsupervised!
To make matters worse, there is a sham on my favorite pillow!! I can't sleep on that without losing my man card!! Also, my favorite egg flipping spatula has been replaced with an unfamiliar utensil which is unproven in its performance. My shoes are in the closet where they DON'T belong, and I don't have my own drawer in the bathroom any more!!
I'm scared to look around any more than I have allready!
I can't talk politics until this crisis is resolved....
I came home from work this morning wanting to take... (show quote)



Remove the sham from your pillow, the sham is decorative not usable, set it aside as a bed for the cat.

Find your second favorite egg flipper and use it, bend the other useless item, and put it on the counter. Maybe put some catsup on it to look like blood, add a note that the darn thing attacked you and you fought back.

put your shows back where ever you want them, and put your wife's shoes where the dog can chew on them.

Staple the curtains to the wall.

Drink two beers and take a nap a long one.

Wake up in time to prepare the dog house for your use during the next month.
Stock up on more beer, run electricity to the dog house and move a TV out there/. Now you are set for the next month, no matter what.

OR call a home handiman service to hang the curtains, rush job. Then buy your wife some flowers which you will put in a vase on the dining room table.Then you can drink a couple of beers and relax until she gets home.

THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

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May 1, 2017 16:04:56   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
JimMe wrote:
archie bunker...

What you have to do is understand... You will be playing Politics the rest of your life... Unfortunately, you need to come to grips with the fact that you're the Minority Party and your wife is the Majority Party in the Congress of your Household... You're the Vice-President of your domicile and your wife is the President... You're a Justice in your Family Judicial System and your wife is the Chief Justice... You hold sway over your children, but can be overridden by your wife at any time...
archie bunker... br br What you have to do is und... (show quote)


Now it makes sense. The kids/grandkids, and animals are the "special interest groups" who are constantly lobbying congress for favors.

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