Children and loss of pet
Apr 29, 2017 08:26:07 #
no propaganda please
Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
IF YOU HAVE KIDS AND PETS, PLEASE READ THIS
The Surprising Way Children View the Death of a Pet
April 29, 2017 | 3,940 views
By Dr. Becker
Because the lifespans of most companion animals are so short, in homes with children, youngsters can be witnesses to the circle of life — the birth, life and death of a family pet.
A recent research project examined the reactions, ideas, and feelings of children when they lose a pet.
Pets Are More Than 'Just Animals' to the Children Who Love Them
The researcher, Joshua J. Russell, Ph.D., assistant professor of animal behavior, ecology and conservation (ABEC) at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY, concluded that pets are more than "just animals" to kids. Russell conducted one-on-one interviews with 12 youngsters between the ages of 6 and 13.
"They often see themselves as the center of their pets' affections," says Russell. "They describe their pets as siblings or best friends with whom they have strong connections."1
One 13-year-old boy whose cat was struck and k**led by a car told Russell he felt his "life was over" at the time, and was still shaken by the event two years later. Russell believes kids "have a distinct sense of existential fairness around whether or not an animal lived until an appropriate age."
Youngsters understand that some pets, for example hamsters, have very short lifespans, but they expect a dog or cat to live much longer. And the type of death a pet experiences is also significant.
"Children whose pets lived the extent of their potential lifetimes — or beyond — expressed acceptance upon their deaths," Russell says.
Kids Distinguish Between 'Good' Pet Deaths and Bad Ones
An 11-year-old girl Russell interviewed suffered the loss of a beloved guinea pig. She was sad and upset about the death of her pet, but she also felt her guinea pig had lived a good life and it was "her time to die."2
The kids viewed euthanasia as the right thing to do to end a pet's suffering, but if a pet died suddenly or unexpected, they were more likely to view the death as "emotionally and morally unfair." In those situations, the children had a much harder time accepting the loss.
Like Adults, Children Have Different Ways of Coping After a Pet Dies
The children Russell interviewed received support from family and friends in dealing with the death of their pets, although some of the kids preferred to mourn privately. They wanted to "go to their room and feel sad and deal with it on their own terms," said Russell.
Many families held religious ceremonies or events such as a memorial tree planting in honor of a pet's passing. The results suggest parents should give kids opportunities to talk about their feelings when a pet dies, and then follow their lead. It's also important to offer youngsters some alone time to grieve.
Not all the kids Russell talked to were sure they wanted another pet. "There were those who felt it would be wrong to move on to a new pet because they had to honor their relationships with the deceased one," he said.
Other children, however, thought getting a new pet would help them feel better. "They explained it as an opportunity to start over and suggested that replacing a companion animal is more about beginning a new relationship than erasing memories of an old one," said Russell.
The 13-year-old who lost his cat summarized it best, according to Russell, when he stated, "Sometimes death is tragic, like when a cat is run over by a car. But ultimately, death is part of life and life does go on."
Tips for Helping Your Child Deal with a Pet's Death
• It's best not to make assumptions about what your child is or isn't feeling, does or doesn't understand, or his beliefs about what has happened to his pet. Kids get input from many sources beyond their parents.
Often mom and dad mistakenly believe their child forms opinions and ideas identical to their own, but youngsters filter information in their own way and reach their own conclusions and beliefs about experiences and events.
• Talk to your child about the death in an open, honest manner, and share your own feelings as a way of encouraging him to share his.
Keep the lines of communication open and you'll likely discover either your youngster has a good understanding of what has happened, or he's harboring some misconceptions you can clear up for him.
• One of the most important things you can do when your family loses a beloved pet is to avoid telling your child how she should feel. Children should not be criticized for crying or told to "be strong."
• You can help your youngster grieve in a productive way by being open about your own sense of sadness and loss. Be honest about how you're feeling and don't try to hide your emotions, but take care not to frighten your child with an out-of-control expression of grief.
Crying is fine. Wailing, screaming or other highly dramatic displays of emotion are not appropriate in front of a child who views you as her safe harbor. Share in your child's sadness, but don't overwhelm it with your own. Be your youngster's protector, even during periods of intense sorrow.
• When you model a healthy way of dealing with grief, it helps your child realize others experience pain and sadness just as she does, her feelings are normal and acceptable, and she isn't alone during this difficult time.
• Grief is a process, not an event. It takes time to work through the process. The good news is the vast majority of kids will adjust in a normal, healthy way to the
The Surprising Way Children View the Death of a Pet
April 29, 2017 | 3,940 views
By Dr. Becker
Because the lifespans of most companion animals are so short, in homes with children, youngsters can be witnesses to the circle of life — the birth, life and death of a family pet.
A recent research project examined the reactions, ideas, and feelings of children when they lose a pet.
Pets Are More Than 'Just Animals' to the Children Who Love Them
The researcher, Joshua J. Russell, Ph.D., assistant professor of animal behavior, ecology and conservation (ABEC) at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY, concluded that pets are more than "just animals" to kids. Russell conducted one-on-one interviews with 12 youngsters between the ages of 6 and 13.
"They often see themselves as the center of their pets' affections," says Russell. "They describe their pets as siblings or best friends with whom they have strong connections."1
One 13-year-old boy whose cat was struck and k**led by a car told Russell he felt his "life was over" at the time, and was still shaken by the event two years later. Russell believes kids "have a distinct sense of existential fairness around whether or not an animal lived until an appropriate age."
Youngsters understand that some pets, for example hamsters, have very short lifespans, but they expect a dog or cat to live much longer. And the type of death a pet experiences is also significant.
"Children whose pets lived the extent of their potential lifetimes — or beyond — expressed acceptance upon their deaths," Russell says.
Kids Distinguish Between 'Good' Pet Deaths and Bad Ones
An 11-year-old girl Russell interviewed suffered the loss of a beloved guinea pig. She was sad and upset about the death of her pet, but she also felt her guinea pig had lived a good life and it was "her time to die."2
The kids viewed euthanasia as the right thing to do to end a pet's suffering, but if a pet died suddenly or unexpected, they were more likely to view the death as "emotionally and morally unfair." In those situations, the children had a much harder time accepting the loss.
Like Adults, Children Have Different Ways of Coping After a Pet Dies
The children Russell interviewed received support from family and friends in dealing with the death of their pets, although some of the kids preferred to mourn privately. They wanted to "go to their room and feel sad and deal with it on their own terms," said Russell.
Many families held religious ceremonies or events such as a memorial tree planting in honor of a pet's passing. The results suggest parents should give kids opportunities to talk about their feelings when a pet dies, and then follow their lead. It's also important to offer youngsters some alone time to grieve.
Not all the kids Russell talked to were sure they wanted another pet. "There were those who felt it would be wrong to move on to a new pet because they had to honor their relationships with the deceased one," he said.
Other children, however, thought getting a new pet would help them feel better. "They explained it as an opportunity to start over and suggested that replacing a companion animal is more about beginning a new relationship than erasing memories of an old one," said Russell.
The 13-year-old who lost his cat summarized it best, according to Russell, when he stated, "Sometimes death is tragic, like when a cat is run over by a car. But ultimately, death is part of life and life does go on."
Tips for Helping Your Child Deal with a Pet's Death
• It's best not to make assumptions about what your child is or isn't feeling, does or doesn't understand, or his beliefs about what has happened to his pet. Kids get input from many sources beyond their parents.
Often mom and dad mistakenly believe their child forms opinions and ideas identical to their own, but youngsters filter information in their own way and reach their own conclusions and beliefs about experiences and events.
• Talk to your child about the death in an open, honest manner, and share your own feelings as a way of encouraging him to share his.
Keep the lines of communication open and you'll likely discover either your youngster has a good understanding of what has happened, or he's harboring some misconceptions you can clear up for him.
• One of the most important things you can do when your family loses a beloved pet is to avoid telling your child how she should feel. Children should not be criticized for crying or told to "be strong."
• You can help your youngster grieve in a productive way by being open about your own sense of sadness and loss. Be honest about how you're feeling and don't try to hide your emotions, but take care not to frighten your child with an out-of-control expression of grief.
Crying is fine. Wailing, screaming or other highly dramatic displays of emotion are not appropriate in front of a child who views you as her safe harbor. Share in your child's sadness, but don't overwhelm it with your own. Be your youngster's protector, even during periods of intense sorrow.
• When you model a healthy way of dealing with grief, it helps your child realize others experience pain and sadness just as she does, her feelings are normal and acceptable, and she isn't alone during this difficult time.
• Grief is a process, not an event. It takes time to work through the process. The good news is the vast majority of kids will adjust in a normal, healthy way to the
Apr 29, 2017 08:32:06 #
Great article npp.. Always good to have a centering point and a helping point on how to let children grieve. Heck, for adults too..!!!
Apr 29, 2017 09:02:42 #
no propaganda please
Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
lindajoy wrote:
Great article npp.. Always good to have a centering point and a helping point on how to let children grieve. Heck, for adults too..!!!
We have had a lot of dogs and a few cats over the years, plus an iguana, several guinea pigs and more than one rabbit. The boys we work with have contact with all the ones we have at the time. They also have contact with the neighbors goats which teach them a lot. Pete now has the two goats we raised in our bathroom, and they are part of his life, and a good way to teach children respect for life. Some of our boys have grown up to be dog trainers or run boarding kennels or g***ming shops. they have used dogs to help with healing and the connection is so deep that I cannot imagine how much the animals have helped in healing the damage. One of our boys, and his wife, run a boarding kennel and train search and rescue dogs and cadaver dogs. We even went to a seminar to listen to his talk about training cadaver dogs. What he didn't tell the audience was that a cadaver dog was used to find the body of a boy who had been abducted raped and murdered by the men who had raped and beaten the trainer when he was ten years old. The human animal connection particularly dogs is a great gift from God.
Apr 29, 2017 12:20:55 #
no propaganda please wrote:
We have had a lot of dogs and a few cats over the ... (show quote)
I absolutely agree with you!! They love unconditionally and have complete faith in us, knowing we will take care of them..heir sense in kowing when we are ill or even depressed or that something is wrong has always amazed me!! I am sure they are a true healing mechanism for children and adults for that fact...
The simplist pleasure of your dog brings much relief to the days affairs..What a way to eal for your boys too...Perfect it is...Do they go help your friend that trains dog??
As for your story, it reeks of Karma and I hope that animal that did as you said is hung!!! Real animals are love, he a monster!!!!
Maybe there is nothing coincidental that dog and God are spelled as they are!!!!
Apr 30, 2017 20:05:52 #
I had a calico cat I rescued after it was dumped as a very young kitten. Had that cat for 15 years before it finally died on the living room floor around midnight with me lying on the floor stroking her head. Tears in my eyes thinking about her. That was six years ago.
I will physically destroy anyone I see abusing a child, female or animal. Mike
I will physically destroy anyone I see abusing a child, female or animal. Mike
lindajoy wrote:
I absolutely agree with you!! They love unconditio... (show quote)
Apr 30, 2017 20:19:44 #
teabag09 wrote:
I had a calico cat I rescued after it was dumped as a very young kitten. Had that cat for 15 years before it finally died on the living room floor around midnight with me lying on the floor stroking her head. Tears in my eyes thinking about her. That was six years ago.
I will physically destroy anyone I see abusing a child, female or animal. Mike
I will physically destroy anyone I see abusing a child, female or animal. Mike
That is what defines you, Mike!! A man of compassion, empathy and morals.. It is a pleasure learning more about you each time you share.. Thank You for your beautiful soul and caring!!!
I had a dog for 11 years that was my best friend.. They are truly family.. He always met my car at the end of drive way.. One afternoon pulling in he wasn't there but he was at the beginning of the drive way, laying the grass..He had passed.. I buried him under the tree right there where he often laid...
We can't not love them!!! It's impossible..
Cali I'd are Beautiful!!
Apr 30, 2017 20:56:39 #
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