I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one.

A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat is worse.

Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation, "Maybe next time," isn’t the correct response.

Don’t irritate old people. The older we get the less “life in prison” is a deterrent.

Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought, “Their cornbread ain’t done in the middle.”

Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors.

You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago as I did.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens...

I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

It turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, “That can’t be accurate.”

I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I’m sure of… it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

I thought getting old would take longer.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That’s when the fight started.

Me: Sobbing my heart out, “I can’t see you anymore… I’m not going to let you hurt me again.”
Trainer: “It was one sit-up. You did one sit-up.”

Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test… something!

Like I’ve said for a long time... be looking for Running Street Battles between factions...

68 DAYS to Civil War
22 Days to Occupy Washington

Good Luck America, you were warned for years... prepare for battle.



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



Stunning moments a young man fights for his life against multiple BLM attackers
By: Mike Adams

Today we bring you an exclusive frame-by-frame analysis of a stunning event that took place in Wisconsin last night, when a young security man with a rifle was assaulted by multiple Black Lives Matter terrorists thugs who were trying to beat him to death.

Using his rifle, he defended himself against multiple attackers, clearing a rifle jam at one point and managing to keep other attackers at bay by firing rounds into thugs who were assaulting him.

Had this young man not fought for his life and shot BLM thugs, he would now be dead. This is a clear case of self-defense, and it underscores the importance for all of us to "fight for your life" ... and shoot BLM terrorists when necessary to defend your own life.

See the astonishing frame-by-frame analysis here.
https://ce-publiclw.naturalnews.com/ct.asp?id=C78A62589AFBF88653EE45E392B6FF8D8B831F285BE4DF7C225506385A1F5F1AB38BB77A9D40C8B94F99A4848AE296E8403AE4502429B9FFB077C587A645CB34&ct=4aeUs1gAAABCWmgzMUFZJlNZJvs6WQAAFJmAAAPRUD%2fn36AgAEiKPap6npNDaTQzUaDH6mpkekeiYjTE9Bn0r2bugcrskmKUgYCwdJ2rVAhGfrL5S5xhOL2d8byQ0rdFNrxaS9qBuKyYRhvCC5ZF3JFOFCQJvs6WQA%3d%3d

As the Nov. election approaches and Trump tells his voters that mail in voter is fraud except for Florida they have it right so it’s okay for Florida to have mail in voting but the rest of the country is nothing but massive fraud and I as your will sue these states if they attempt mail in voting.

Let’s keep the main thing the main thing. Trump is a master of distractions when this country takes there eyes off what voters want.

Breaking news Missouri one of the reddest states finally signed onto Medicaid expansion as part of Obama care. I am really wondering what’s going on out there a red state like that and it took them 8 years to realize that the ACA is a good thing.

But this country has to stop focusing on Trumps sewer level Character. Because he lives in the sewer and knows nothing else.

This country over the last year of Trump almost 160,000 dead from COVID, because Trump is not capable of doing the job of protecting american people. Over 71,000 dead from drug addiction Trump as part of his campaign promised to address this issue but this country in one year have more dead in a year than anytime in history.

We have over 38,000 dead from Gun violence but Trumps only option is do nothing.

We have over 32 million people on unemployment. McConnell in the senate states that nothing will come to the floor for a vote for relief unless Trump agrees with it. Trump will not agree to relief of anything unless it has Paycheck Protection Program and make it a (FORGIVENESS) program.

Paycheck Protection Program states corporation were to receive federal grants. One of the requirements was they had to maintain there employees and not lay them off. They needed to send documentation that they kept there employees. If these corporations terminated there employees the grant turned into a low interest loan and they would have to pay it back. The Inspector General at the treasury department was to track these payments and report back to Congress. But what did Trump do he fires the Inspector General and that gave control to Trump and Muncin Trumps treasury Secretary. Trump refuses to turn over documents as to who received these grants and verification they did not terminate there employees. That’s sewer politics.

So Trump now is holding 32 million unemployed workers as a means to create a forgiveness program for Trumps corporate elite who received over $385 billion in deficit financed tax payer funds. Not to mention Trump refuses to identified what corporations got $585 billion slush fund he handed to the corporate elite.
But Trump is a master of distraction by going to the bully pulpit and controlling his southern racist voters by creating a narrative of voter fraud with mail in voting with absolutely no evidence at all. But his right wing nut jobs continue to believe Trump and ignore what he has actually done.

The Senate just pushed the country off a cliff — and then headed for the hills
Credit: Gage Skidmore
Written by Cody Fenwick July 31, 2020
2.3K
Despite the pandemic-induced recession, millions of jobless Americans have been kept afloat by an uncharacteristically generous act of Congress. In addition to their state’s usual unemployment payments — usually a fraction of their previous wages — Americans have been eligible to receive and additional $600 a week, desperately needed support for people who saw their incomes crater.

But Republicans have been outraged that the payments were so generous, so they objected to legislation the Democrats passed in May to extend the program. They proposed a number of different ideas to extend the program on a more limited basis, but all these ideas came at the last minute and the GOP caucus couldn’t agree on a single plan. So on Friday, the program officially expires — meaning unemployed Americans who had been receiving a boost of $2,400 a month from the government will suddenly see those payments slashed to zero.



And now, the Senate has gone home for a long weekend.

Yeah, he is. Unfortunately, I'm one of his constituents. Thankfully though, I live in a 10,000 square mile county populated by 4500 people. Lots of wilderness out here and the nearest city - Vegas - is 150 miles away. There's a single two lane highway and a railroad running N to S through town. This is Mormon country, and although I don't agree with their religious world view, one thing I can say about them is they know how to take care of others, prepare for the worst, and they are not selfish. I do not know a single Mormon who does not support president Trump.