Hm. Jedi. He already tried sucking me in once today. I'm wise to him. Oh, look, he brought a light saber to a gun fight. How cute!

OK. New question. This one is simple if you stop and think for a minute. Ready?

Name 50 words that do not contain the letter A.

Go!

(Cue 'Jeopardy' music)

Oh, Jeeze! Now you're really getting thin! Even Colbert looks intelligent beside them!

We aim to please.

Who was it that said "Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who do not."?

'Delusional left' is not a slur, it's a fact. They are, in fact, delusional. But OK, let's say it has become a platitude. What word would you have me use instead? Deranged? Unhinged? Unmoored? Irrational? Crazed? Demented? They all fit. I'm just trying to be polite. Ah.

That's it, isn't it? You see my politeness as some sign of weakness and feel the need to try and drag me into some cringing intellectual silliness. Sorry, ain't working. Not today.

here, send him some of this:

But you're not sorry for a couple of reasons that you don't seem to be able to articulate, right? Well, let's break that down. First, where is this either a forceful or bitter attack against anyone? What I posted attacks nobody and gives a pretty clear outline of some significant legislative advances toward getting back to some semblance of normality. I don't consider that as either worthless or meaningless. I happen to see it as quite important and refreshing that we have someone in the halls of government who has our interests in mind for a change.

So what's your beef?

US Constitution: Preamble:

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

Do you see the word 'protection' in there? Do you see that word anywhere in the constitution? Another word you won't find in the US Constitution or in any of the constitutions of the fifty States: 'Democracy'. There's good reasons why those words do not appear in those documents. There's no 'confusion'. There's no snowflake little turd whining and crying about how the Constitution is supposed to protect him from his big, bad neighbors.

If you walk down your street looking over your shoulder worrying about where the bullet's going to come from, I suggest you find a good psychiatrist to help you with your paranoia. Otherwise, find a quieter place to live. The law is not there to protect you, the legal system is there to apprehend and punish those who break the law, hopefully to promote the general welfare. Oops, there's another egregiously misunderstood and highly twisted word, 'welfare'. Sometimes, there can be no substitute for having 'the fastest gun' as you put it.

Do you see some 'inaccuracy' in there? Please do share. Or otherwise, go bug someone else. You likely "didn't bother to suffer through all of it" because you have a hard time reading words bigger than three letters long. Go away.

Want another one? I got bunches...

Well, so can I.

Nah, just kidding. It's really very simple, the blue tint is due to the existence of blue fibers in most clothing. Yep, even that red tee-shirt has blue fibers. Imagine that!

Linda? Have we 'been at the sauce' again? You know you're not supposed to do that before breakfast...

Can you keep a secret?

Haw-haw. Nope. Try again. He cleans his 'blue fluff' every day. His 'blue' fluff...

Why is it, no matter what color shirt a man wears, his belly-button fluff always has some blue in it? It could be a red shirt, but it will still have some blue strands. How is that possible?