Yeah, it'll settle down when California finally breaks off and floats away. That's where all the unstable influences originate. I hear there's a push to schedule that finally. We'll see.

Around the corner, just to get a glimpse of my boyish charms...

These days I just get a few dozen fawning at my feet when I go out.

Nah, he's more into the sea monster types, they got more meat on their bones. He tends to leave the swimmers and surfers to the sharks. They have to eat too, you know...

I'll have you know any competent ninja can deflect a bullet with his katana, close the distance, disembowel his attacker and be back where he started before the gunman can chamber another round. Ninjas are like that.

Well, alright, if you say so, I guess I can unchain her from the sink for just a few hours a day... But the barefoot and pregnant thing still applies! No backsies!

Yeah, it's because the Kraken lives in Arizona, and the sea monsters are his main diet, so they avoid the area when possible. Don't feel bad, this is all pretty recent, so you can't be expected to be up on all the latest developments. I hear he's going to relocate to Texas in the next few hundred years to give the Arizona coastline a chance to recover from his voracious appetite.

Uh-uh! You got that backwards there, Cupcake! She hangs on my every word. Oh yes she does! When I speak, you could hear a pin drop, then if I ask that she understands my superior instructions, she dutifully replies "yes, oh Great One". She understands that I have two motivations, horny and hungry. If she sees a gleam in my eye, she runs and makes me a sammich. A big sammich, with all the fixins!

Duh! Everyone knows there's no sea monsters in Arizona! They're all in New Mexico!

Well, he 'Fundamentally Changed the Culture Of America' alright, and not for the better. Look around you, this is not my America. It's starting to get better but there's still a very long way to go.

They're welcome to 'fight' for whatever their 'cause of the month' happens to be, but if they think they can do so at the cost of my children, they'd better take another look. That's definitely where I draw the line. We took 8 years of international humiliation and unbelievable government corruption from that Kenyan usurper. It will be many years before the effects are no longer felt. I think it's time they left us alone and put their radical agenda somewhere quiet for a long time. Like... Forever would be about right.

Who is 'we'? I certainly don't. Do you?

Me? I already bought two from her and I haven't even had a chance to go see them yet. She says they have a beautiful view. Once I get them done, I'll be right there if you still have it.

So we should shoot the teachers, TV programmers and progressives then? I can't be 100% certain, but I think a bullet probably overrides any 'socialist programming', regardless of scale or effectiveness, right?

Are you trying to flip the one she sold you already?

[quote=Justsss]

Damn! You caught me! "But really, officer, I just couldn't help it!"

"Tell it to the judge, perv!"

Listening??!! Do I have to? Aww. But that's just so... P-whipped! Is there no other way? Maybe if I double-up on the flowers and chocolates? Wouldn't that be just as good? Pleeeeeze?