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Top this for a speeding ticket
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May 11, 2014 19:54:57   #
beammeupscotty Loc: 31°07'50.8"N 87°27'00.8"W
 
slatten49 wrote:
Assuming by 'smoker', you mean a miniature smokehouse pit? Then, yes, it is. That follows the traditional definition of BBQing...backyard or otherwise. The best BBQ requires long-term smoking or cooking over open, smokey heat. Quick BBQ grilling is not quite the same, but acceptable, given time restraints.

I doubt that BBQ bologna would set well with me...I don't like it plain, either. But, technically, it would be BBQ. Obviously, beef and pork are the two mainstays of BBQing, with chicken being somewhere in the equation.

Anything can be BBQ'ed...by definition, I guess. I have not tried armadillo. :lol:
Assuming by 'smoker', you mean a miniature smokeho... (show quote)



Down here, we BBQ flounder....or just about anything that's not alive...the live stuff gets boiled...lol

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May 11, 2014 20:31:18   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
beammeupscotty wrote:
Down here, we BBQ flounder....or just about anything that's not alive...the live stuff gets boiled...lol


I should bring Mrs. B. there. She loves to have her steak "floundering" (is that a word?) I call it "Texas sushi!"

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May 11, 2014 21:54:06   #
Snoopy
 
archie bunker wrote:
That one will be hard to beat!! :lol: :lol:


Archie bunker

Then there is the one about . . .

A state trooper, standing at the bottom of a long hill with a radar gun stops an unfortunate speeder.

During their conversation the trooper asks the driver what he does for a living.

His answer: I am a rectum stretcher. In certain medical procedures it is necessary to stretch a rectum to six feet.

The trooper asks: what do you do with a six foot rectum?

His reply: you give him a radar detector and stand him at the bottom of this hill giving out speeding tickets!

His sentence will be up next January.

Snoopy

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May 11, 2014 22:08:43   #
beammeupscotty Loc: 31°07'50.8"N 87°27'00.8"W
 
archie bunker wrote:
I should bring Mrs. B. there. She loves to have her steak "floundering" (is that a word?) I call it "Texas sushi!"


You should, ya'll could even "kick yo shoes off an' set a spell" the only condition would be for " ya'll come back now ya hear". Yes Absolutely a word...has more to do with maritime than culinary though, we would call your "Texas sushi" ....done...lol..oh, and to Mrs.B....happy mothers day
:thumbup:

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May 11, 2014 22:09:31   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
Snoopy wrote:
Archie bunker

Then there is the one about . . .

A state trooper, standing at the bottom of a long hill with a radar gun stops an unfortunate speeder.

During their conversation the trooper asks the driver what he does for a living.

His answer: I am a rectum stretcher. In certain medical procedures it is necessary to stretch a rectum to six feet.

The trooper asks: what do you do with a six foot rectum?

His reply: you give him a radar detector and stand him at the bottom of this hill giving out speeding tickets!

His sentence will be up next January.

Snoopy
Archie bunker br br Then there is the one about .... (show quote)


Snoopy, you are in the competition!! :lol:

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May 11, 2014 22:11:32   #
beammeupscotty Loc: 31°07'50.8"N 87°27'00.8"W
 
Snoopy wrote:
Archie bunker

Then there is the one about . . .

A state trooper, standing at the bottom of a long hill with a radar gun stops an unfortunate speeder.

During their conversation the trooper asks the driver what he does for a living.

His answer: I am a rectum stretcher. In certain medical procedures it is necessary to stretch a rectum to six feet.

The trooper asks: what do you do with a six foot rectum?

His reply: you give him a radar detector and stand him at the bottom of this hill giving out speeding tickets!

His sentence will be up next January.

Snoopy
Archie bunker br br Then there is the one about .... (show quote)


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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May 11, 2014 22:13:37   #
AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State
 
archie bunker wrote:
Snoopy, you are in the competition!! :lol:


With all of these individuals with amusement available, why is it my job to do a Saturday amusement? Oh...I remember. They are men, cannot remember an assignment and it is too much effort. :twisted: :hunf: :( :|

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May 11, 2014 22:17:49   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
beammeupscotty wrote:
You should, ya'll could even "kick yo shoes off an' set a spell" the only condition would be for " ya'll come back now ya hear". Yes Absolutely a word...has more to do with maritime than culinary though, we would call your "Texas sushi" ....done...lol..oh, and to Mrs.B....happy mothers day
:thumbup:


Thanks Scotty!!!

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May 11, 2014 23:03:14   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
With all of these individuals with amusement available, why is it my job to do a Saturday amusement? Oh...I remember. They are men, cannot remember an assignment and it is too much effort. :twisted: :hunf: :( :|


Ok. I'm good with that. I'll take saturday. You will remind me won't you?

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May 11, 2014 23:04:23   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
With all of these individuals with amusement available, why is it my job to do a Saturday amusement? Oh...I remember. They are men, cannot remember an assignment and it is too much effort. :twisted: :hunf: :( :|


Bitterness does not become you, darling. :lol: :mrgreen:

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May 11, 2014 23:15:55   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
archie bunker wrote:
Ok. I'm good with that. I'll take saturday. You will remind me won't you?


:lol: :thumbup: :lol:

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Dec 25, 2014 23:23:58   #
Memere
 
MrEd wrote:
Top This One For A Speeding Ticket in Kingsville, TX:

This is hilarious!


Two Texas Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on Hwy 77, just south of Kingsville, TX. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the town of Kingsville. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing.


The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it suddenly turned off.




Just then a deafening roar over the Mesquite tree tops on Hwy 77 revealed that the radar had in fact, locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near this, it's Naval Air home base location in Kingsville, TX.

Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in Corpus Christi the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the US Naval Base Commander in Kingsville for shutting down his equipment.



The reply came back in true USMC style:



"Thank you for your letter....

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment's location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position on the side of Hwy 77,south of Kingsville.

The pilot suggests you cover your mouths when swearing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech.

Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster."

Semper Fi!
Top This One For A Speeding Ticket in Kingsville, ... (show quote)

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Dec 26, 2014 10:30:25   #
BearK Loc: TN
 
slatten49 wrote:
BBQing in a crockpot? Blasphemous! :?

To do so should be a hanging offense. :hunf:


Probably would be if you did it, Slats. You can do lots of things - no doubt - eating is your top priority, but I'm not sure about your cooking talents.

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Dec 26, 2014 10:34:27   #
BearK Loc: TN
 
slatten49 wrote:
Two points. It may be yummy, but it is not real BBQ. Real BBQ does not require/need sauce. The very definition of traditional BBQ requires a slab or slabs of meat to be cooked slowly over an open pit or smokehouse pit. Crockpot BBQ is a novelty substitute for the real deal...tasty as it may be. One might as well eat 'sloppy joes'! :hunf:

I will admit to being a stickler for tradition. :wink: :mrgreen:


You brag about TX BBQ, but let me tell you (and I'm not much of a meat eater - so if I eat it -- it is GOOD). That other state that starts with T, you know Tennessee, they have some outstanding BBQ places here, and done the way you like it.

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