By Scott Stabile

I really don’t like to be wrong. How about you?

Are you someone who wants — even needs — to be right most of the time? All of the time? Do you like to have the last word in a disagreement? Do you get frustrated when others don’t agree with your opinions? I do, much more often than I’d like. And it never feels good.

Being right is so overrated, especially when it comes at the expense of basic human kindnesses. Inherent in the need to be right is the desire — consciously or not — to put ourselves above others, to make them wrong in order to appease our own insecurities and our ego’s need to be perfect.

Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the love in that? There are so many healthier choices we can make than needing to be right. Let’s start making them!

When we find our minds locked into the need to be right — whether in an argument, a discussion or a casual conversation — let’s call on our hearts to integrate the following five virtues.

1. Openness. We can’t always agree with each other, nor should we always try to. That doesn’t mean everyone who disagrees with us is wrong, or that we’re always right. There’s so much to learn from the ideas and opinions of others when we stay open to listening to them. When we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper level, with more understanding and acceptance, and with less judgment and resistance. This is how dialogues move forward and connections deepen. Also, our openness almost always encourages openness in those with whom we communicate.

2. Detachment. It really is possible to be passionate about what we’re trying to express without being attached to how it’s received. When we are attached to what we’re saying, and to the need to be right about it, we often end up forcing our ideas on others, or distorting our beliefs simply to gain the approval of others. Detachment gives us the freedom to communicate without the pressure of needing to be seen as right. Through detachment, we can find peace with however our comments are received and with whatever direction a conversation takes. Who’s right and who’s wrong becomes irrelevant.

3. Humility. The need to be right is rooted deeply in the ego, and one thing our egos are not is humble. Let’s take a breath and swallow our pride when someone says something we believe to be wrong. We don’t have to prove them so. Even more, we need to be willing to be wrong ourselves. It’s not about compromising our truths, but about being humble within the expression of them. It doesn’t matter whether we’re right or wrong. What’s important is how we handle ourselves in either case.

4. Forgiveness. Though the need to be right enters all areas of our lives, it’s especially damaging during conflicts with those we love. When we believe we’ve been wronged, we often want to prove to the one who’s hurt or betrayed us just how wrong they are. We want to hurt them back. Instead, the focus needs to be on forgiveness. It’s important to share our feelings and express how we feel hurt, but not without a commitment to forgiving the action and the person, no matter how wrong we believe them to be. When the desire to forgive takes precedent, the need to be right dissipates, opening the door for a more conscious and healthy connection.

5. Kindness. Dr. Wayne Dyer famously wrote, “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.” We all struggle with the insecurities of our egos, with the insecurity of being wrong. And a threatened ego will almost always lash out. When we make an effort to prove someone wrong by establishing ourselves as right, we’re being unkind in the process, whether we intend to be or not. Only the ego cares about the distinctions between right and wrong. The heart simply loves and accepts whomever is on the other side of the conversation. Let’s operate from our hearts, with kindness.

The next time we feel ourselves pressing to make our point and needing to be right, let’s take a moment to remember that being right is not the goal. It’s unimportant. Let’s try to integrate some of the above qualities into our way of speaking, knowing that by doing so we invite a more conscious and kindly exchange with whomever is on the other side of our dialogue.

Having worked as a project engineer my entire life you soon realize that no one is right all of the time at least not in the human realm of things. We all have ideas some good some great and some not so good. We learn to build off of others ideas and suggestions at least in engineering we did. If only one was ever right then there would be no need fro the other engineers. It should be the same in government as well we all have had different life experiences. Some came from modest or even poor backgrounds and others from more affluent backgrounds and some from wealthy backgrounds but we all could contribute to the design. Some of the most creative suggestions came from those that came from poorer backgrounds because as they grew up they didn't have the funds to purchase fancy toys and bicycles etc. they had to use their imagination and that can take you anywhere and everywhere. Some of you older ones on here maybe you can remember listening to the radio on a Saturday morning to the Lone Ranger and other shows. No big screen TV with moving pictures on it just the words coming in through the radio and your imagination. We have to allow others the ability to voice their ideas as well as ours that is how our nation grew and that is how our nation will continue to grow and who knows we might actually be right on occasion.

"Blue-nosed leftist goobers " You do often have a way with words, Wolf. I've not heard that one before. I often question whether, underneath that pretentious hardness, you are simply a steel-coated marshmallow.

I find you a man of great Faith, Wolf, although a hard one to understand in that you're a bit of an anomaly. The following quotes from Mark Twain may well have been meant specifically for absolutists such as yourself to absorb & comprehend.....

"So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: 'Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is.' Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code." - Mark Twain, a Biography

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. I would not interfere with any one's religion, either to strengthen it or to weaken it. I am not able to believe one's religion can affect his hereafter one way or the other, no matter what that religion may be. But it may easily be a great comfort to him in this life--hence it is a valuable possession to him." - Mark Twain, a Biography

I will close by stating that I admire people of great Faith, especially if that Faith makes them a better person.

My definitions of religion and faith are as follows.

Religion = habitual behavior

Faith = Self Confidence.

My belief does not emanate from either of the above.

I am compelled by instinct and life experience.

I don't need preachers, churches, religious congregations or pious goody two shoes to tell me what my gut feelings already know.

I don't worship Mark Twain and I'm perfectly capable of composing cute little anecdotes of my own.

So I attribute no profound wisdom to the words of a long dead blatherskite like Twain.

Every child is born with the knowlegde of right and wrong.

But you blue nose leftist goobers teach your kids that it's right to be faggots, lesbians, trangenders and atheists.

You're teaching your little boys that it's wrong to be masculine.

You yourself are telling people to not focus on being right but focus on being a pushover and be kind and forgiving of that which is wrong and dispicable.

That ain't happening here brother.

Try selling that schmooze to your fellow lefties who seem to be overly violent with their hatred of Trump.

As you know, Wolf, we live about 75-80 miles from each other. Why don't we simply meet somewhere in your hometown (or anywhere close by) for a sit-down in order to get to know one another better Let's see how right or wrong each of us may be regarding the other. I am more than willing to meet you face-to-face. In fact, I would welcome it. If not, it could then be assumed that your calling one of the giants of American literature a "blatherskite" is simply an example of the pot calling the kettle black. What's there to fear from meeting at a place of your choice

What say you I'm calling you out only so you can better determine if I am a "pushover" or not...and, enjoy the company.

My definitions of religion and faith are as follows.

Religion = habitual behavior

Faith = Self Confidence.

My belief does not emanate from either of the above.

I am compelled by instinct and life experience.

I don't need preachers, churches, religious congregations or pious goody two shoes to tell me what my gut feelings already know.

I don't worship Mark Twain and I'm perfectly capable of composing cute little anecdotes of my own.

So I attribute no profound wisdom to the words of a long dead blatherskite like Twain.

Every child is born with the knowlegde of right and wrong.

But you blue nose leftist goobers teach your kids that it's right to be faggots, lesbians, trangenders and atheists.

You're teaching your little boys that it's wrong to be masculine.

You yourself are telling people to not focus on being right but focus on being a pushover and be kind and forgiving of that which is wrong and dispicable.

That ain't happening here brother.

Try selling that schmooze to your fellow lefties who seem to be overly violent with their hatred of Trump.

I'm not interested in who is right or who is wrong between the two of us.

Everything I need to know about you I have already read in your posts.

I have no inclination to attempt to change your attitude towards anything that you believe is right through your perception of right and wrong.

My occupation involves travel and I've probably been closer to you at times than the distance between our stongholds.

I've done travel surveys throughout the Hillsboro, Waco and Meridian triangle that included camera counts on hiway 22 at Laguna Park.

I camped at lake Whitney when I was a boy scout and the Brazos River is one of my dearest friends.

When I have time off, you can bet I don't waste it talking politics or arguing about who is right or wrong.

So I couldn't bet on the probability of what you propose.

Time is precious and the time I spend on OPP is a perk that I take while on duty.

The nature of my work allows me the ability to take advantage of idle time for personal use.

At present, I'm in Sealy Texas.

At 2:00 pm today I'll meet with a DOT project manager to inspect 12 locations in an ongoing survey.

I'll be back at my hotel in Houston this evening and I'll be up later tonight processing reports.

You're probably retired and loaded with time enough to sit around and tell war stories.

I hope I can join you some day soon.

But not now...................soldier.

I'm not interested in who is right or who is wrong between the two of us.

Everything I need to know about you I have already read in your posts.

I have no inclination to attempt to change your attitude towards anything that you believe is right through your perception of right and wrong.

My occupation involves travel and I've probably been closer to you at times than the distance between our stongholds.

I've done travel surveys throughout the Hillsboro, Waco and Meridian triangle that included camera counts on hiway 22 at Laguna Park.

I camped at lake Whitney when I was a boy scout and the Brazos River is one of my dearest friends.

When I have time off, you can bet I don't waste it talking politics or arguing about who is right or wrong.

So I couldn't bet on the probability of what you propose.

Time is precious and the time I spend on OPP is a perk that I take while on duty.

The nature of my work allows me the ability to take advantage of idle time for personal use.

At present, I'm in Sealy Texas.

At 2:00 pm today I'll meet with a DOT project manager to inspect 12 locations in an ongoing survey.

I'll be back at my hotel in Houston this evening and I'll be up later tonight processing reports.

You're probably retired and loaded with time enough to sit around and tell war stories.

I hope I can join you some day soon.

But not now...................soldier.

I'm not interested in who is right or who is wrong between the two of us.

Everything I need to know about you I have already read in your posts.

I have no inclination to attempt to change your attitude towards anything that you believe is right through your perception of right and wrong.

My occupation involves travel and I've probably been closer to you at times than the distance between our stongholds.

I've done travel surveys throughout the Hillsboro, Waco and Meridian triangle that included camera counts on hiway 22 at Laguna Park.

I camped at lake Whitney when I was a boy scout and the Brazos River is one of my dearest friends.

When I have time off, you can bet I don't waste it talking politics or arguing about who is right or wrong.

So I couldn't bet on the probability of what you propose.

Time is precious and the time I spend on OPP is a perk that I take while on duty.

The nature of my work allows me the ability to take advantage of idle time for personal use.

At present, I'm in Sealy Texas.

At 2:00 pm today I'll meet with a DOT project manager to inspect 12 locations in an ongoing survey.

I'll be back at my hotel in Houston this evening and I'll be up later tonight processing reports.

You're probably retired and loaded with time enough to sit around and tell war stories.

I hope I can join you some day soon.

But not now...................soldier.

By Scott Stabile

I really don’t like to be wrong. How about you?

Are you someone who wants — even needs — to be right most of the time? All of the time? Do you like to have the last word in a disagreement? Do you get frustrated when others don’t agree with your opinions? I do, much more often than I’d like. And it never feels good.

Being right is so overrated, especially when it comes at the expense of basic human kindnesses. Inherent in the need to be right is the desire — consciously or not — to put ourselves above others, to make them wrong in order to appease our own insecurities and our ego’s need to be perfect.

Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the love in that? There are so many healthier choices we can make than needing to be right. Let’s start making them!

When we find our minds locked into the need to be right — whether in an argument, a discussion or a casual conversation — let’s call on our hearts to integrate the following five virtues.

1. Openness. We can’t always agree with each other, nor should we always try to. That doesn’t mean everyone who disagrees with us is wrong, or that we’re always right. There’s so much to learn from the ideas and opinions of others when we stay open to listening to them. When we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper level, with more understanding and acceptance, and with less judgment and resistance. This is how dialogues move forward and connections deepen. Also, our openness almost always encourages openness in those with whom we communicate.

2. Detachment. It really is possible to be passionate about what we’re trying to express without being attached to how it’s received. When we are attached to what we’re saying, and to the need to be right about it, we often end up forcing our ideas on others, or distorting our beliefs simply to gain the approval of others. Detachment gives us the freedom to communicate without the pressure of needing to be seen as right. Through detachment, we can find peace with however our comments are received and with whatever direction a conversation takes. Who’s right and who’s wrong becomes irrelevant.

3. Humility. The need to be right is rooted deeply in the ego, and one thing our egos are not is humble. Let’s take a breath and swallow our pride when someone says something we believe to be wrong. We don’t have to prove them so. Even more, we need to be willing to be wrong ourselves. It’s not about compromising our truths, but about being humble within the expression of them. It doesn’t matter whether we’re right or wrong. What’s important is how we handle ourselves in either case.

4. Forgiveness. Though the need to be right enters all areas of our lives, it’s especially damaging during conflicts with those we love. When we believe we’ve been wronged, we often want to prove to the one who’s hurt or betrayed us just how wrong they are. We want to hurt them back. Instead, the focus needs to be on forgiveness. It’s important to share our feelings and express how we feel hurt, but not without a commitment to forgiving the action and the person, no matter how wrong we believe them to be. When the desire to forgive takes precedent, the need to be right dissipates, opening the door for a more conscious and healthy connection.

5. Kindness. Dr. Wayne Dyer famously wrote, “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.” We all struggle with the insecurities of our egos, with the insecurity of being wrong. And a threatened ego will almost always lash out. When we make an effort to prove someone wrong by establishing ourselves as right, we’re being unkind in the process, whether we intend to be or not. Only the ego cares about the distinctions between right and wrong. The heart simply loves and accepts whomever is on the other side of the conversation. Let’s operate from our hearts, with kindness.

The next time we feel ourselves pressing to make our point and needing to be right, let’s take a moment to remember that being right is not the goal. It’s unimportant. Let’s try to integrate some of the above qualities into our way of speaking, knowing that by doing so we invite a more conscious and kindly exchange with whomever is on the other side of our dialogue.

Mr. Counselor, I will have to strongly disagree with how you're categorizing this man. Myself, and my lovely wife have sat across the table with him on multiple occasions.

He is an extremely family oriented man who will also jump, and run for a friend in need at the drop of a hat, regardless of their political persuasion.

Mr. Slatten is a friend of mine, and even though we don't agree a lot on politics, we are friends.

I choose to stand with my friend on this thread, because I see you being overly harsh, self righteous, and arrogant.

No human is always right, so unless you are some sort of super human; you're blustering, and blowing smoke!

Just my two cents worth!

Have a good day, sir!

By Scott Stabile

I really don’t like to be wrong. How about you?

Are you someone who wants — even needs — to be right most of the time? All of the time? Do you like to have the last word in a disagreement? Do you get frustrated when others don’t agree with your opinions? I do, much more often than I’d like. And it never feels good.

Being right is so overrated, especially when it comes at the expense of basic human kindnesses. Inherent in the need to be right is the desire — consciously or not — to put ourselves above others, to make them wrong in order to appease our own insecurities and our ego’s need to be perfect.

Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the love in that? There are so many healthier choices we can make than needing to be right. Let’s start making them!

When we find our minds locked into the need to be right — whether in an argument, a discussion or a casual conversation — let’s call on our hearts to integrate the following five virtues.

1. Openness. We can’t always agree with each other, nor should we always try to. That doesn’t mean everyone who disagrees with us is wrong, or that we’re always right. There’s so much to learn from the ideas and opinions of others when we stay open to listening to them. When we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper level, with more understanding and acceptance, and with less judgment and resistance. This is how dialogues move forward and connections deepen. Also, our openness almost always encourages openness in those with whom we communicate.

2. Detachment. It really is possible to be passionate about what we’re trying to express without being attached to how it’s received. When we are attached to what we’re saying, and to the need to be right about it, we often end up forcing our ideas on others, or distorting our beliefs simply to gain the approval of others. Detachment gives us the freedom to communicate without the pressure of needing to be seen as right. Through detachment, we can find peace with however our comments are received and with whatever direction a conversation takes. Who’s right and who’s wrong becomes irrelevant.

3. Humility. The need to be right is rooted deeply in the ego, and one thing our egos are not is humble. Let’s take a breath and swallow our pride when someone says something we believe to be wrong. We don’t have to prove them so. Even more, we need to be willing to be wrong ourselves. It’s not about compromising our truths, but about being humble within the expression of them. It doesn’t matter whether we’re right or wrong. What’s important is how we handle ourselves in either case.

4. Forgiveness. Though the need to be right enters all areas of our lives, it’s especially damaging during conflicts with those we love. When we believe we’ve been wronged, we often want to prove to the one who’s hurt or betrayed us just how wrong they are. We want to hurt them back. Instead, the focus needs to be on forgiveness. It’s important to share our feelings and express how we feel hurt, but not without a commitment to forgiving the action and the person, no matter how wrong we believe them to be. When the desire to forgive takes precedent, the need to be right dissipates, opening the door for a more conscious and healthy connection.

5. Kindness. Dr. Wayne Dyer famously wrote, “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.” We all struggle with the insecurities of our egos, with the insecurity of being wrong. And a threatened ego will almost always lash out. When we make an effort to prove someone wrong by establishing ourselves as right, we’re being unkind in the process, whether we intend to be or not. Only the ego cares about the distinctions between right and wrong. The heart simply loves and accepts whomever is on the other side of the conversation. Let’s operate from our hearts, with kindness.

The next time we feel ourselves pressing to make our point and needing to be right, let’s take a moment to remember that being right is not the goal. It’s unimportant. Let’s try to integrate some of the above qualities into our way of speaking, knowing that by doing so we invite a more conscious and kindly exchange with whomever is on the other side of our dialogue.

By Scott Stabile

I really don’t like to be wrong. How about you?

Are you someone who wants — even needs — to be right most of the time? All of the time? Do you like to have the last word in a disagreement? Do you get frustrated when others don’t agree with your opinions? I do, much more often than I’d like. And it never feels good.

Being right is so overrated, especially when it comes at the expense of basic human kindnesses. Inherent in the need to be right is the desire — consciously or not — to put ourselves above others, to make them wrong in order to appease our own insecurities and our ego’s need to be perfect.

Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the love in that? There are so many healthier choices we can make than needing to be right. Let’s start making them!

When we find our minds locked into the need to be right — whether in an argument, a discussion or a casual conversation — let’s call on our hearts to integrate the following five virtues.

1. Openness. We can’t always agree with each other, nor should we always try to. That doesn’t mean everyone who disagrees with us is wrong, or that we’re always right. There’s so much to learn from the ideas and opinions of others when we stay open to listening to them. When we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper level, with more understanding and acceptance, and with less judgment and resistance. This is how dialogues move forward and connections deepen. Also, our openness almost always encourages openness in those with whom we communicate.

2. Detachment. It really is possible to be passionate about what we’re trying to express without being attached to how it’s received. When we are attached to what we’re saying, and to the need to be right about it, we often end up forcing our ideas on others, or distorting our beliefs simply to gain the approval of others. Detachment gives us the freedom to communicate without the pressure of needing to be seen as right. Through detachment, we can find peace with however our comments are received and with whatever direction a conversation takes. Who’s right and who’s wrong becomes irrelevant.

3. Humility. The need to be right is rooted deeply in the ego, and one thing our egos are not is humble. Let’s take a breath and swallow our pride when someone says something we believe to be wrong. We don’t have to prove them so. Even more, we need to be willing to be wrong ourselves. It’s not about compromising our truths, but about being humble within the expression of them. It doesn’t matter whether we’re right or wrong. What’s important is how we handle ourselves in either case.

4. Forgiveness. Though the need to be right enters all areas of our lives, it’s especially damaging during conflicts with those we love. When we believe we’ve been wronged, we often want to prove to the one who’s hurt or betrayed us just how wrong they are. We want to hurt them back. Instead, the focus needs to be on forgiveness. It’s important to share our feelings and express how we feel hurt, but not without a commitment to forgiving the action and the person, no matter how wrong we believe them to be. When the desire to forgive takes precedent, the need to be right dissipates, opening the door for a more conscious and healthy connection.

5. Kindness. Dr. Wayne Dyer famously wrote, “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.” We all struggle with the insecurities of our egos, with the insecurity of being wrong. And a threatened ego will almost always lash out. When we make an effort to prove someone wrong by establishing ourselves as right, we’re being unkind in the process, whether we intend to be or not. Only the ego cares about the distinctions between right and wrong. The heart simply loves and accepts whomever is on the other side of the conversation. Let’s operate from our hearts, with kindness.

The next time we feel ourselves pressing to make our point and needing to be right, let’s take a moment to remember that being right is not the goal. It’s unimportant. Let’s try to integrate some of the above qualities into our way of speaking, knowing that by doing so we invite a more conscious and kindly exchange with whomever is on the other side of our dialogue.