Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

Grocery Boy

Years ago when grocery stores had delivery boys one of the boys had a problem with one customer.
The little old lady had a great big ugly ferocious dog that the boy was deathly afraid of.
One day Tommy the delivery boy walked up sidewalk whistling a little tune, and the dog was sleeping.
The dog opened his eyes saw Tommy and chased the boy again and tore the seat out of his pants as he was going over the fence.
Tommy had had enough of this crap so he phoned the little old lady and told her he was not going to deliver anymore groceries to her house unless she did something about the dog.
She took the dog to Veterinary office and explained the problem to them.
The Vet said, no problem we’ll just castrate him and he’ll just get fat and lazy and sleep all the time and not bother anyone.
Couple of weeks later she phoned the grocery store to let them know that she had did something about the problem
With her dog and she would like for Tommy to again start delivering groceries to her home.
Tommy opened the gate and walked up the sidewalk with an arm load of groceries, the dog was sleeping and he woke up saw Tommy and took after him again and again tore the ass out of his pants as he was going over the fence.
This really pissed Tommy off so again he phoned the little old lady to complain about her dog. He said, “You told me that you did something about your dog”!!!
She said but I did I had him castrated.
Tommy loudly said “CASTRATED – CASTRATED why didn’t you pull his teeth he’s not been trying to screw me.

solarkin

Please kind Sailor,post more like this.

Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

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I remember all the jokes I heard 50 - 60 years ago but I can't remember things I hear or see this week.
Telling jokes has become a lost art because now days people just copy and past to emails.
Current comedians are not funny. All they do is run down President Trump.
I have not watched late night TV shows since Jay Leno was forced off the air. I no longer have
CATV, I bought an air antenna and I record old Johnny Carson shows from 40 - 50 years ago for comedy and I like when he has the zoo animals on. The old westerns especially Gunsmoke are much better than the crap on TV now days.

EL Loc: Massachusetts

I'm with you. There's nothing but crap on TV these days. And you're right....I haven't seen a funny comedian in a LONG time.
...The Virginian is pretty good, too.

Patsaco1

We did the same thing and never regretted our decision. TV shows are crap!! Gunsmoke, Mash, Bonanza, Big Valley..... Those were shows!!!

PulletSurprise Loc: Columbus, GA

Johnny was in Starbucks’ when his stomach rumbled and he desperately needed relief. If he got up, he’d lose his seat. What a dilemma!

The place was extremely packed, but the music so loud, you could barely think. He pondered for a moment, then it hit him, he broke wind perfectly tuned to the up-beat of the music. Johnny was in his own little world, grinning ear to ear sipping coffee and reading his book.

Few songs later, Johnny felt better; but strangely, everyone was staring at him.

Then it hit him to turn his stereo headphones off!

Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

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Thanks, I copied and pasted it and it is half way around the world by now.

Tradition Loc: Staten Island, N.Y.

Especially "Little Joe!"

TV shows nowadays seem to have run out of decent story lines and so have resorted to glorifying dissolute behavior. Honestly, I am so tired of hearing the "F" word as a noun, and as an adjective for every other noun, that I wonder why, with over a MILLION ENGLISH WORDS in the Dictionary, we have to hear that ugly one ad nauseum. It's gotten to the point where parents actually consider it funny or "cute" when they hear their children spout it out. Look, I'm no prude, but ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

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When i see videos of blacks looting or demonstrating the "F" word is all I can understand in their Ebonics speech.
Black people from other countries speak better English than Americans

I have often said that had Obama not been raised by his "white grandparents" (who he resented) he probably wouldn't be able to speak as well as he does and probably would not have been elected President.

teabag09

I don't consider it cute or fun, it's a word that has become so wide used just like the pants half way down the butt. If you ain't ghetto today you ain't cool. Gotta be nigra, especially the girls. Oh well! What to do? In my opinion I scorn them, Just me. Mike

woodchuck

Much to my chagrin I hate to say that I think, because the F word is used privately so freely these days, and on the internet, it will be common in 10 years and not banned from use in the media.
I also don't understand why some comedians use the F word in their jokes when they would be just as funny, if not funnier, by leaving it out

Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

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So called comedians now days make up for a lack of talent by using profanity and running down President Trump.

GmanTerry

My favorite is the Rifleman. I get it daily, on an antenna, on MeTV. Chuck Conners was great.

Semper Fi

Tradition Loc: Staten Island, N.Y.

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I remember watching the Rifleman with my Dad. He loved westerns. We also liked the actor who played his son. My favorite, though, was Bonanza. (Had a crush on "Little Joe").

GmanTerry

Johnny Crawford played Mark McCain.

Semper Fi