slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

The Borowitz Report

By Andy Borowitz 10:52 A.M.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Commenting on Donald Trump’s first hundred days in office, Vice-President Mike Pence told Fox News on Sunday, “To tell you the truth, I really thought I’d be President by now.”

“When I agreed to run on the ticket with him, I said to myself, ‘Mike, after he’s been in the White House for a few weeks, he’ll be a total train wreck and you’ll be able to slide into the big-boy chair,’ ” Pence said. “I never in a million years thought he’d last a hundred days. My best guess was thirty.”

The former Indiana governor said that, with such seemingly fatal missteps as Trump’s failed health-care plan and travel bans, as well as any number of unhinged outbursts, “It feels like I’ve come close to getting in there maybe ten or twelve times. But close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”

Calling the past hundred days “the longest hundred days of my life,” Pence said that he has no choice now but to “sit and wait for my moment.”

“I’m a man of faith, and I believe that the Lord has a plan for me,” he said. “But if another hundred days come and go and I’m still not President, you are going to see one pissed-off Mike Pence.”
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Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.

BigMike Loc: yerington nv

He could be prezzident yet. Never know what can happen theez dayz.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Perhaps, Mike. But, The Borowitz Report..after all, is satirical.

Zombiefarmer23 Loc: Bull Hills

Sounds like bazinga to me.

BigMike Loc: yerington nv

I kinda worry for the guy's safety. That's all.

vernon

Did you ever here that kind of junk about obama.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Yes, actually, we did Vernon. Soon after President Obama was elected, the following was written by Andy Borowitz and published by the New Yorker Magazine:
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Biden dispatched on special mission to Antarctica

By Andy Borowitz, Satire

Saturday, January 24, 2009 3:30am

Associated Press

President Obama is taking no chances on a repeat Oprah performance such as the one starring Jill and Joe Biden.

In the first major initiative of his presidency, Barack Obama today dispatched Vice President Joe Biden on what he called "an important and special mission" to Antarctica.

The news of Biden's unexpected trip appeared to take the vice president by surprise, as he was in the middle of making a joke about Chief Justice John Roberts to members of the press corps when the president interrupted him with the news.

"Here's how John Roberts sings the National Anthem," Biden was saying. " 'Oh see can you say…' "

Obama, yanking away Biden's microphone, then informed him of the extraordinary journey to the South Pole he was about to undertake. The president was vague but did indicate that it could take "up to four years."

His wife, Jill Biden, offered another version of events during an appearance later in the day on Oprah. "Joe was given a choice of places to go and he picked Antarctica," she said.

"President Obama said he could also go to the moon or Mars." Her remarks were cut short when Obama appeared on the set and unplugged her microphone.

Other than the Biden news, Obama's day went as planned, meeting with senior staff, drawing up a budget, and being sworn in as president for the third time.
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Satire: Biden dispatched on special mission to Antarctica 01/24/09 [Last modified: Saturday, January 24, 2009 3:30am]

BigMike Loc: yerington nv

Someone once said to me, "Sometimes the things people joke about aren't really a joke". Slatten's post may have been satire, but in real life there are people out to get Trump by any means and I've thought more than once that we could end up with Pence in the Big Chair.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

True enough, BigMike. But, I have posted numerous satirical articles by Andy Borowitz. The one just above your post was in response to Vernon's seeming paranoia. Another example of this? Before the election, I wrote close to thirty threads apiece about Clinton and Trump. Most of them, I believe (if not all), were critical/negative or poking fun of one or the other. I only received hostile comments from posters when an article was critical of candidate Trump. I don't recall one post resenting any criticism of Hillary Clinton.

Again, I voted for neither.

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

There's a lot of truth to that ststement!! More than can be known actually..

I've seen it right in here ,"oh, I was only joking or you misunderstood me," when you know them well enough to know they meant exactly what they were saying and wishing it true"...

I think we also need a good joke here and there to lighten the heavy garbage that goes on in life and in here!!

BigMike Loc: yerington nv

True that. I saw, and I think a lot of folks instinctively know how serious the stakes were in this last election without really knowing why. Perhaps this is why you got those negative responses.

BigMike Loc: yerington nv

Yeah! And if anyone ever says, "I don't mean to step on anyone's toes", put on your boots because that's exactly what they intend to do!

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

It is.

Kazudy

The plan is going smoothly,Pence will be President in 8 years,mark my words. 5-1-2017.