Check out topic: Iran's New Proxy: American Universities
An Elwood Special
May 4, 2016 19:55:53 #
British humour as it used to be: Absolutely politically incorrect.
..........................................................................................................................................................
It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons
on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloureds
from running.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police
think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But, since
all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works great!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
============================================
During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
=============================================
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.
=============================================
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
=============================================
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor
balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
=============================================
An Emergency Call Center worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of
her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It seems that a
caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a
railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."
To which the call center employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
..........................................................................................................................................................
It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons
on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloureds
from running.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police
think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But, since
all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works great!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
============================================
During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
=============================================
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.
=============================================
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
=============================================
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor
balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
=============================================
An Emergency Call Center worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of
her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It seems that a
caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a
railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."
To which the call center employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
May 4, 2016 20:06:48 #
AuntiE wrote:
British humour as it used to be: Absolutely polit... (show quote)
Where have you been? There is an event needing planning don't you know!!
In case you have forgotten, tomorrow is Cinco de Mrs. B.!!
She will be 29 this year. I thought she was 29 last year, but I'm not good at keeping up; so I'll just go with it!!
May 4, 2016 20:27:05 #
archie bunker wrote:
Where have you been? There is an event needing planning don't you know!!
In case you have forgotten, tomorrow is Cinco de Mrs. B.!!
She will be 29 this year. I thought she was 29 last year, but I'm not good at keeping up; so I'll just go with it!!
In case you have forgotten, tomorrow is Cinco de Mrs. B.!!
She will be 29 this year. I thought she was 29 last year, but I'm not good at keeping up; so I'll just go with it!!
I took on substantially more then I should have, in tutoring this semester. It has been a LOT overwhelming.
Event planning is in the process. I wil not fail you and especially Mrs.B.
May 4, 2016 20:45:03 #
May 4, 2016 20:49:12 #
archie bunker wrote:
Where have you been? There is an event needing planning don't you know!!
In case you have forgotten, tomorrow is Cinco de Mrs. B.!!
She will be 29 this year. I thought she was 29 last year, but I'm not good at keeping up; so I'll just go with it!!
In case you have forgotten, tomorrow is Cinco de Mrs. B.!!
She will be 29 this year. I thought she was 29 last year, but I'm not good at keeping up; so I'll just go with it!!
Second reply. I have located a venue. I am working, as we communicate, with the staff for food, beverage, etc. They have been alerted to Norbert's attempts for photography and have assured me no cameras will be available.
May 4, 2016 21:11:07 #
AuntiE wrote:
Second reply. I have located a venue. I am working, as we communicate, with the staff for food, beverage, etc. They have been alerted to Norbert's attempts for photography and have assured me no cameras will be available.
Sorry. I was out filling bird feeders.
Could you make sure they have a mysoginist there? Her back has been bad lately, and a good mysog might do her good! You know....the tanned muscley guy with the soft hands, hot rocks, oils, smells, and stuff. It might do her good!
May 4, 2016 21:25:26 #
archie bunker wrote:
Sorry. I was out filling bird feeders.
Could you make sure they have a mysoginist there? Her back has been bad lately, and a good mysog might do her good! You know....the tanned muscley guy with the soft hands, hot rocks, oils, smells, and stuff. It might do her good!
Could you make sure they have a mysoginist there? Her back has been bad lately, and a good mysog might do her good! You know....the tanned muscley guy with the soft hands, hot rocks, oils, smells, and stuff. It might do her good!
Ahem, I think the word you are looking for is masseuse, not mysoginist.
May 4, 2016 21:46:04 #
AuntiE wrote:
Ahem, I think the word you are looking for is masseuse, not misognist.
Danged if the English language doesn't just get plum confusing sometimes!
My bad!
Change of subject.
Her mother bought her this new skillet for her b-day that is AMAZING!!!! Nothing sticks to it at all!! I fried two eggs in it last night just to see. It is amazing!
They slid right out with no oil, hog fat, or butter!! It kind of worries me though. Blood, hair, and skin can easily be removed!
I can picture her telling law enforcenlment..."I came home, and he was laying there with his head split." The skillet has been washed. There is no forensic evidence to convict me of my crime!
May 4, 2016 21:59:58 #
archie bunker wrote:
Danged if the English language doesn't just get pl... (show quote)
Reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode where the wife whacked her husband with the frozen leg of lamb, and when the cop showed up she asked him to stay for dinner.
May 4, 2016 22:06:58 #
mcmlx wrote:
Reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode where the wife whacked her husband with the frozen leg of lamb, and when the cop showed up she asked him to stay for dinner.
Now you're scarying me!
The struggle for survival is real!
If you are me! May 4, 2016 22:13:54 #
archie bunker wrote:
Danged if the English language doesn't just get pl... (show quote)
Awesome. I must purchase one forthwith.
May 4, 2016 22:14:52 #
mcmlx wrote:
Reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode where the wife whacked her husband with the frozen leg of lamb, and when the cop showed up she asked him to stay for dinner.
I must remember this for a future possibility.
May 5, 2016 04:58:51 #
May 5, 2016 09:25:48 #
no propaganda please
Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
AuntiE wrote:
Second reply. I have located a venue. I am working, as we communicate, with the staff for food, beverage, etc. They have been alerted to Norbert's attempts for photography and have assured me no cameras will be available.
Unfortunately we will be out of town, but happy birthday #29 for Mrs. B.
Mr. Toad is still dating the same female toad so maybe there is a marriage in the offing.
May 5, 2016 16:03:07 #
AuntiE wrote:
British humour as it used to be: Absolutely polit... (show quote)
the English do have a sense comedy
I find"pushing the bomb inside the Mosque"
extremely funny
also the one "how could anyone stoop so low"
reminds me of my jarheaded Marine buddies
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.
Check out topic: OMG we all heard it