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Men vs. women
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Nov 28, 2015 11:13:53   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Many people say that men and women are opposites. Others hold the notion that they compliment each other, while others believe them to be both. Despite it all, we cannot help but be a little comical about the differences between the two sexes, so if you agree with us on this, the following short jokes will surely have you bursting into laughter!

Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in... While those inside are desperate to come out.

Wife: "Why are you home so early?"
Husband: "My boss said go to hell!"

Doctor: "How's your headache?"
Patient: "She's out of town."

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she loves the most.
But when a man does that - the slide show begins....

Whisky is a brilliant invention.
One double and you start feeling single again.

Wives are magicians... They can change anything into an argument.

There are 3 kinds of men in this world: Some remain single and make wonders happen, some have girlfriends and see wonders happen...
...the rest get married and wonder what happened!

Q- Why can't women drive well?
A- Because there are too many mirrors in a car that distract them.

Q- Why can't Women stand a day in a Jungle?
A- There are no shopping centers.

Q: How can you save a dying woman?
A: Tell her about a 90% sale going on somewhere.

Q: If a Woman is quiet, which day is it?
A: Who cares, just enjoy that day!

Women live a better, longer and more peaceful Life, compared to men. Do you want to know why?
A very smart man replied: Women don't have a wife!











Reply
Nov 28, 2015 11:55:47   #
LAPhil Loc: Los Angeles, CA
 
Elwood wrote:
Many people say that men and women are opposites. Others hold the notion that they compliment each other, while others believe them to be both. Despite it all, we cannot help but be a little comical about the differences between the two sexes, so if you agree with us on this, the following short jokes will surely have you bursting into laughter!

Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in... While those inside are desperate to come out.

Wife: "Why are you home so early?"
Husband: "My boss said go to hell!"

Doctor: "How's your headache?"
Patient: "She's out of town."

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she loves the most.
But when a man does that - the slide show begins....

Whisky is a brilliant invention.
One double and you start feeling single again.

Wives are magicians... They can change anything into an argument.

There are 3 kinds of men in this world: Some remain single and make wonders happen, some have girlfriends and see wonders happen...
...the rest get married and wonder what happened!

Q- Why can't women drive well?
A- Because there are too many mirrors in a car that distract them.

Q- Why can't Women stand a day in a Jungle?
A- There are no shopping centers.

Q: How can you save a dying woman?
A: Tell her about a 90% sale going on somewhere.

Q: If a Woman is quiet, which day is it?
A: Who cares, just enjoy that day!

Women live a better, longer and more peaceful Life, compared to men. Do you want to know why?
A very smart man replied: Women don't have a wife!
Many people say that men and women are opposites. ... (show quote)
Just don't let your employer know about this.

Reply
Nov 28, 2015 14:42:23   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
LAPhil wrote:
Just don't let your employer know about this.


:lol: :lol: I am self-employed (most of the time). :twisted:

Reply
 
 
Nov 28, 2015 15:50:46   #
LAPhil Loc: Los Angeles, CA
 
Elwood wrote:
:lol: :lol: I am self-employed (most of the time). :twisted:
Yeah, I wasn't thinking too clearly. You're anonymous anyway.

Reply
Nov 28, 2015 17:18:05   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
LAPhil wrote:
Yeah, I wasn't thinking too clearly. You're anonymous anyway.


:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Reply
Nov 29, 2015 08:22:27   #
lindajoy Loc: right here with you....
 
Elwood wrote:
Many people say that men and women are opposites. Others hold the notion that they compliment each other, while others believe them to be both. Despite it all, we cannot help but be a little comical about the differences between the two sexes, so if you agree with us on this, the following short jokes will surely have you bursting into laughter!

Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in... While those inside are desperate to come out.

Wife: "Why are you home so early?"
Husband: "My boss said go to hell!"
wife: then why did you bring it home?

Doctor: "How's your headache?"
Patient: "She's out of town."
Wife: My headache left the minute I left too..

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

NO, it isn't.

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she loves the most.
But when a man does that - the slide show begins....
Yes, that first love is always so hard to forget...

Whisky is a brilliant invention.
One double and you start feeling single again.
And a triple will set you free.........

Wives are magicians... They can change anything into an argument.
Husbands are too, they make it look like they are doing something other than sitting in their chair with the remote glued to their hand...

There are 3 kinds of men in this world: Some remain single and make wonders happen, some have girlfriends and see wonders happen...
...the rest get married and wonder what happened!
Three kinds of women too. Some remain single and see wonders happen,some have boyfirends and know wonders happened and the rest get married and pray for a wonder.......

Q- Why can't women drive well?
A- Because there are too many mirrors in a car that distract them.
Not true, its because men who are lost keep driving in circles all around them swearing they know right where they are going while never getting there being on the roads too dang long...

Q- Why can't Women stand a day in a Jungle?
A- There are no shopping centers..Wrong again, they live in the jungle every day....

Q: How can you save a dying woman?
A: Tell her about a 90% sale going on somewhere.
Wrong again, take her to the sale, although she will likely drop dead when you say, let me take you to the sale going on.

Women live a better, longer and more peaceful Life, compared to men. Do you want to know why?

A very smart man replied: Women don't have a wife!
Many people say that men and women are opposites. ... (show quote)


Not true, the ones that live longer usually let their husbands think they were taking care of everything while they went about doing just that... :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

But when all said and done we love each other, period....Love a beautiful thing~~I think~~~ ;) :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Reply
Nov 29, 2015 10:43:22   #
Artemis
 
Elwood wrote:
Many people say that men and women are opposites. Others hold the notion that they compliment each other, while others believe them to be both. Despite it all, we cannot help but be a little comical about the differences between the two sexes, so if you agree with us on this, the following short jokes will surely have you bursting into laughter!

Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in... While those inside are desperate to come out.


Gee what a lovely one sided argument and quite derogatory.
Wife: "Why are you home so early?"
Husband: "My boss said go to hell!"

Doctor: "How's your headache?"
Patient: "She's out of town."

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she loves the most.
But when a man does that - the slide show begins....

Whisky is a brilliant invention.
One double and you start feeling single again.

Wives are magicians... They can change anything into an argument.

There are 3 kinds of men in this world: Some remain single and make wonders happen, some have girlfriends and see wonders happen...
...the rest get married and wonder what happened!

Q- Why can't women drive well?
A- Because there are too many mirrors in a car that distract them.

Q- Why can't Women stand a day in a Jungle?
A- There are no shopping centers.

Q: How can you save a dying woman?
A: Tell her about a 90% sale going on somewhere.

Q: If a Woman is quiet, which day is it?
A: Who cares, just enjoy that day!

Women live a better, longer and more peaceful Life, compared to men. Do you want to know why?
A very smart man replied: Women don't have a wife!
Many people say that men and women are opposites. ... (show quote)

Reply
 
 
Nov 29, 2015 12:24:51   #
LAPhil Loc: Los Angeles, CA
 
lindajoy wrote:
Not true, the ones that live longer usually let their husbands think they were taking care of everything while they went about doing just that... :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

But when all said and done we love each other, period....Love a beautiful thing~~I think~~~ ;) :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :D :D :D :D

Reply
Nov 29, 2015 12:24:57   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
lindajoy wrote:
Not true, the ones that live longer usually let their husbands think they were taking care of everything while they went about doing just that... :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

But when all said and done we love each other, period....Love a beautiful thing~~I think~~~ ;) :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:


:lol: :lol: Me Tarzan, you Jane aka Linda. :mrgreen:

Reply
Nov 29, 2015 12:26:07   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Artemis, you are right. :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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Nov 29, 2015 15:47:39   #
lindajoy Loc: right here with you....
 
LAPhil wrote:
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :D :D :D :D


Hello Phil, been a while since chatting with you...Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving...


Thank You~~

Reply
 
 
Nov 29, 2015 15:48:11   #
lindajoy Loc: right here with you....
 
Elwood wrote:
:lol: :lol: Me Tarzan, you Jane aka Linda. :mrgreen:


:lol: :lol: I like thatttttt~~~ :thumbup:

Reply
Nov 29, 2015 16:40:40   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
lindajoy wrote:
Not true, the ones that live longer usually let their husbands think they were taking care of everything while they went about doing just that... :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

But when all said and done we love each other, period....Love a beautiful thing~~I think~~~ ;) :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:



you are a lovely person Linda
but sadly you lose that argument :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
the man and his ego is right on

Reply
Nov 29, 2015 16:52:36   #
LAPhil Loc: Los Angeles, CA
 
lindajoy wrote:
Hello Phil, been a while since chatting with you...Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving...


Thank You~~
I did. Hope you did as well.

Reply
Nov 29, 2015 19:16:34   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
lindajoy wrote:
:lol: :lol: I like thatttttt~~~ :thumbup:


:lol: :lol: Kinky. :mrgreen:

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