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Howard
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Nov 18, 2014 12:10:32   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.



A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door.


A boy, about 9, opened the door.


"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.


"No, they went to town" said the boy.


"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer.


"No, he went with Mom and Dad" the boy answered.


The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other, and mumbling to himself.


"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can
give Dad a message" said the boy.


"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".


The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500
for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for
Howard."

Reply
Nov 18, 2014 12:38:41   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.



A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door.


A boy, about 9, opened the door.


"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.


"No, they went to town" said the boy.


"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer.


"No, he went with Mom and Dad" the boy answered.


The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other, and mumbling to himself.


"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can
give Dad a message" said the boy.


"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".


The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500
for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for
Howard."
When you're from the country, your perception is a... (show quote)


Priceless! :lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup: :lol:

Reply
Nov 18, 2014 13:10:13   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.



A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door.


A boy, about 9, opened the door.


"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.


"No, they went to town" said the boy.


"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer.


"No, he went with Mom and Dad" the boy answered.


The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other, and mumbling to himself.


"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can
give Dad a message" said the boy.


"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".


The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500
for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for
Howard."
When you're from the country, your perception is a... (show quote)


That's been around a few times but still funny. :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol:

Reply
 
 
Nov 18, 2014 13:23:36   #
PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.



A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door.


A boy, about 9, opened the door.


"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.


"No, they went to town" said the boy.


"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer.


"No, he went with Mom and Dad" the boy answered.


The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other, and mumbling to himself.


"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can
give Dad a message" said the boy.


"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".


The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500
for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for
Howard."
When you're from the country, your perception is a... (show quote)


Even a city boy like me can laugh at that one! Thanks for sharing!

Reply
Nov 18, 2014 20:26:47   #
Cherrio Loc: Nazareth,Israel now usa
 
PaulPisces wrote:
Even a city boy like me can laugh at that one! Thanks for sharing!


Howard be thy name,not mine but Howard

Reply
Nov 18, 2014 23:52:26   #
Armageddun Loc: The show me state
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.



A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door.


A boy, about 9, opened the door.


"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.


"No, they went to town" said the boy.


"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer.


"No, he went with Mom and Dad" the boy answered.


The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other, and mumbling to himself.


"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can
give Dad a message" said the boy.


"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".


The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500
for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for
Howard."
When you're from the country, your perception is a... (show quote)


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reply
Nov 19, 2014 11:04:33   #
alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa
 
Elwood wrote:
That's been around a few times but still funny. :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol:


almost every joke that has been told on OPP in the past year I had heard before, but seeing them again reminds me and I laugh as much as I did the first time

Reply
 
 
Nov 19, 2014 11:53:37   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
alex wrote:
almost every joke that has been told on OPP in the past year I had heard before, but seeing them again reminds me and I laugh as much as I did the first time


When one has progressed from the antideluvian era I suppose there isn't much they haven't been exposed to.

Reply
Nov 19, 2014 12:27:46   #
jetson
 
Alex, how about this one. A farmer had to go to the city on business. He determined it would be cheaper to go by train. On the way he had to use the bath room. He asked the conductor where the toilet was. The conductor told him, at the end door on the right. Well the old farmer went down and went in. He had never seen anything so nice and clean. He did not want to mess it up. So he raised the window and started stinking out the window, not knowing there was an old hobo riding beneath the train. The stink was blowing and splashing all over the old hobo. The old hobo took his hobo stick and smack the old farmer across his butt. A little later the conductor asked the old farmer how he liked their modern bathroom on the train. He said find, but that ass wiper is going to kill someone one of these days.

Reply
Nov 19, 2014 14:33:35   #
alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa
 
jetson wrote:
Alex, how about this one. A farmer had to go to the city on business. He determined it would be cheaper to go by train. On the way he had to use the bath room. He asked the conductor where the toilet was. The conductor told him, at the end door on the right. Well the old farmer went down and went in. He had never seen anything so nice and clean. He did not want to mess it up. So he raised the window and started stinking out the window, not knowing there was an old hobo riding beneath the train. The stink was blowing and splashing all over the old hobo. The old hobo took his hobo stick and smack the old farmer across his butt. A little later the conductor asked the old farmer how he liked their modern bathroom on the train. He said find, but that ass wiper is going to kill someone one of these days.
Alex, how about this one. A farmer had to go to t... (show quote)


no, at first I thought it was going to be the one about the two guys riding on a train and they both had to go bad but there was no toilet on this train so since they were the only two in the car they stuck their derriere out the window just then the passed a work crew and one of the crew said I think I recognize that guy and his buddy said which one the guy smoking the cigar or the guy chewing tobacco?

Reply
Nov 19, 2014 14:34:53   #
alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
When one has progressed from the antideluvian era I suppose there isn't much they haven't been exposed to.


say what you will you are still older than me

Reply
 
 
Nov 19, 2014 15:51:04   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
alex wrote:
say what you will you are still older than me


Must you keep bringing that up, sonny boy?

Reply
Nov 19, 2014 15:56:58   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
Must you keep bringing that up, sonny boy?


He has a severe case of Senior Marine NCO envy, Salty. :mrgreen:

Reply
Nov 19, 2014 15:57:52   #
AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.

A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.

"No, they went to town" said the boy.

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer.

"No, he went with Mom and Dad" the boy answered.

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other, and mumbling to himself.

"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can
give Dad a message" said the boy.

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".

The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500
for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for
Howard."
When you're from the country, your perception is a... (show quote)


Success is yours UncleE actually laughed out loud and requested I forward this so he can send it all over to his friends. :thumbup:

Reply
Nov 19, 2014 16:18:38   #
Armageddun Loc: The show me state
 
alex wrote:
no, at first I thought it was going to be the one about the two guys riding on a train and they both had to go bad but there was no toilet on this train so since they were the only two in the car they stuck their derriere out the window just then the passed a work crew and one of the crew said I think I recognize that guy and his buddy said which one the guy smoking the cigar or the guy chewing tobacco?


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I am telling AuntiE on you, you brat :thumbup: :thumbup:

Reply
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