Dumb jokes?
Nov 24, 2019 15:30:59 #
I know that some of you have experienced a senior moment. Well I am in the the middle of a senior decade and hope that I do not offend , annoy, bother or insult anyone with the following. If I do then apologize on behalf of my ancestors, present generation, myself and heirs in advance.
1. The blind carpenter picked up his hammer and saw.
2. The toothless carpenter picked his brace and bit.
3. If a cobbler were baking a peach cobbler in his shoe store would it be tough as leather?
4. There is nothing smarter than a dumb blonde.
5. One of the most painful jobs would be keeping your nose to the grindstone.
6. Were owners of haberdadaharies snobs because of high hatting?
7. Some people are upside down because their nose runs and their feet smell.
8. When in Rome you are supposed to do as the Romas do. However, do not go into the arena with the lions as so many of them did.
9. When a professor goes to hear another professor does he become a professee?
10. I go to a part time barber because he only cuts hair on the side.
11. There are twin dirty words that really anny me they are HAIR and BALD.
12. If you are afraid of height then don't go for an interview to become a wingwalker on a biplane.
13. It takes two to tango, so you had better waltz through life.
14. A new phobia for people afraid of the mid-east. It is called Iran-Iracifobia.
15. Because you can't take it with you hearses do not have trailer hitches.
16. The one who first starts yelling during an argument usually loses because the other person is telling the truth.
17. If you are married and an argument is forthcoming just say "Yes, my sweet wife I apologize."
18. I always tell doctors if they heart me they will learn my religion because when it comes to pain I am a devout coward.
19. There is a herd of sheep, a gaggle of geese and a congress of jackasses.
20. The only one who is contempable in court sometimes is the judge.
21. My happiest four years in grammar school was fifth grade because when I was in eighth grade I could drive to school.
22. I recently saw a politician who was no longer corrupt because I attended his funeral.
23. Although a lie is abominable to God some people do it to get out of a difficult situation.
24. My twin brother David and I were wombmates. With fraternal twins the one on the left side is usually left handed. and the one on the right is usually right haned. It has to do with the fact the others hands can't move. My parents had three other boys when we were born. She told the doctor the they were all facinated with mirrors but we were not. He told her every time we turned around we saw ourselves.
REMEMBER THREE THINGS "GOD LOVES YOU AND YOURS, I LOVE YOU AND YOURS, AND NEITHER WILL CHANGE.
1. The blind carpenter picked up his hammer and saw.
2. The toothless carpenter picked his brace and bit.
3. If a cobbler were baking a peach cobbler in his shoe store would it be tough as leather?
4. There is nothing smarter than a dumb blonde.
5. One of the most painful jobs would be keeping your nose to the grindstone.
6. Were owners of haberdadaharies snobs because of high hatting?
7. Some people are upside down because their nose runs and their feet smell.
8. When in Rome you are supposed to do as the Romas do. However, do not go into the arena with the lions as so many of them did.
9. When a professor goes to hear another professor does he become a professee?
10. I go to a part time barber because he only cuts hair on the side.
11. There are twin dirty words that really anny me they are HAIR and BALD.
12. If you are afraid of height then don't go for an interview to become a wingwalker on a biplane.
13. It takes two to tango, so you had better waltz through life.
14. A new phobia for people afraid of the mid-east. It is called Iran-Iracifobia.
15. Because you can't take it with you hearses do not have trailer hitches.
16. The one who first starts yelling during an argument usually loses because the other person is telling the truth.
17. If you are married and an argument is forthcoming just say "Yes, my sweet wife I apologize."
18. I always tell doctors if they heart me they will learn my religion because when it comes to pain I am a devout coward.
19. There is a herd of sheep, a gaggle of geese and a congress of jackasses.
20. The only one who is contempable in court sometimes is the judge.
21. My happiest four years in grammar school was fifth grade because when I was in eighth grade I could drive to school.
22. I recently saw a politician who was no longer corrupt because I attended his funeral.
23. Although a lie is abominable to God some people do it to get out of a difficult situation.
24. My twin brother David and I were wombmates. With fraternal twins the one on the left side is usually left handed. and the one on the right is usually right haned. It has to do with the fact the others hands can't move. My parents had three other boys when we were born. She told the doctor the they were all facinated with mirrors but we were not. He told her every time we turned around we saw ourselves.
REMEMBER THREE THINGS "GOD LOVES YOU AND YOURS, I LOVE YOU AND YOURS, AND NEITHER WILL CHANGE.
Nov 24, 2019 16:06:12 #
no propaganda please
Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
Dwight Logan wrote:
I know that some of youhave experienced a senior moment. Well I am in the the middle of a senior decade and hope that I do not offend , annoy, bother or insult antone with the following. If I do then apologize on behalf of my ancestors, present generation myself and heirs
In your senior moment you omitted the joke. Since I am also a senior I almost missed the lacking joke, oh well!
Nov 24, 2019 17:08:11 #
'm not technically a senior. But I've always related better with people older than myself. i got these jokes, and I like them.
Nov 24, 2019 17:14:44 #
Dwight Logan wrote:
I know that some of you have experienced a senior ... (show quote)
Heard the joke about the bed?
Hasn't been made up yet!
Nov 24, 2019 17:16:27 #
Nov 24, 2019 17:54:32 #
okie don wrote:
There are three (3) types of people:
Those who can count.
Those who can't count.
š¤
Those who can count.
Those who can't count.
š¤
And those like I who probably the third type.
Nov 24, 2019 20:04:10 #
Nov 25, 2019 08:01:06 #
Nov 25, 2019 08:01:22 #
Nov 26, 2019 12:34:34 #
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