badbobby Loc: texas

The three little pigs-modernized

The animal I really dig
above all others is the pig
pigs are noble,pigs are clever
pigs are courteous,however
now and then ,to break the rule
one meets a pig who is a fool

what for example,would you say
if strolling through the woods one day
right in front of you,you saw
a pig who'd built his house of straw?
A PIG WHO'D BUILT HIS HOUSE OF STRAW?

The wolf who saw it licked his lips
"Little pig,little pig,let me in
'no,no,not by the hair on my chinny chin chin
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff,and Ill blow your house in"

the little pig began to pray
but wolfie blew his house away
he shouted,'bacon,pork and ham,
Oh what a lucky wolf I am'
and though he ate the pig quite fast
he saved the curly tail for last

now wolfie wandered on,a trifle bloated
surprise surprise,for soon he noted
another little house built by a pig
this one erected with twigs

"little pig,little pig let me in'
'no,no,not by the hair on my chinny chin chin'
'then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in

OL wolfie said"Oh boy,here we go
he then began to huff and blow
the pig inside began to squeal
he cried'oh wolf,youv'e had one meal
why can't we talk and make a deal?
ol wolfie replied"not on your nelly'
and soon the pig was in his belly

'two very nice pigs"cried the wolf
"but still,I'm not satisfied
I know how full my tummy's bulging
but oh how I love such indulging

so creeping quietly as a mouse
ol wolfie approached another house
a house of brick with a pig inside
a little pig trying to hide
"you won't eat me'the pig cried
"Ill blow your house down" ol wolfie replied
'you will need'pig said'a lot of puff,and I don't think youv'e got enough

ol wolfie huffed and puffed and blew and blew
but the brick house stayed as good as new
"If I can't blow it down"Ol wolfie said
I'll blow it up instead
I'll come back in the dead of night,and blow the damned thing up with dynamite"

pig cried"Oh you brute,I might have known"
then picking up the telephone
he dialed as quickly as he could
the number of 'Red Riding Hood'

"Hello",she said"Who is calling,who"?
oh ,hello piggy,how are you?
pig cried"I need your help miss Hood
Oh help me please,do you think you could"?
I'll try of course,Miss Hood replied'what's on your mind"?
"A wolf"piggy replied
I know you have dealt with wolves before
and now I've got one at my door"

"My darling pig "she said"my sweet,
that is something right up my street'
I've just begun to wash my hair
and as soon as it is dry.I'll be there

A short while later through the wood
came striding,brave Miss Riding Hood
ol wolfie stood there,his eyes ablaze
all yellowish,like mayonaize
his teeth were sharp,his gums were raw

once more Miss Hoods eyelid flickers
she draws her pistol from her nickers
once more she hits the vital spot
and kills ol wolfie with a single shot

piggy ,peering through his window,stood
and yelled"Well done Miss Riding Hood'



Ah piggy, you must never trust
young ladies from the upper crust
for now ,Miss Riding Hood,one notes
not only has two wolf skins
but now when she goes from place to place
Miss Hood has a pig skin traveling case

bahmer

OK there badbobby how in the world did you get that to copy from babamail?
I have tried to coy stuff from babamail and have had no success for some time now.
I was at my wits end the other day trying to copy that one about english please to post for lonewolf.
I some how managed to do some thing to get it copied but I don't remember what I did.

moldyoldy

Good one.

CarryOn

For some reason your poem of the three little pigs reminded me of this skit I saw some time ago.
Very funny ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=OxoUUbMii7Q

Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall

Many a smile and more than one chuckle...

Quite silly, yet educational too

badbobby Loc: texas

easy bahm
I just physically copied the text then copied my writing
I thought the poem was worth the trouble

bahmer

That was a lot of work for just one poem but thanks for the effort.

Smedley_buzkill

Many a smile and more than one chuckle.
(Now don't hold back, I see you biting your knuckle!)
A great big laugh and a tiny little chortle;
As you derive amusement from an OPP portal.

Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall

badbobby Loc: texas

very good Smed

bahmer

I see that you saw the article about Salty. I knew that you and he were friends along with Slats and I am sorry for your and Slats lose as you two knew him longer than I did.

badbobby Loc: texas

I've missed Papi for a while
now I realize just how much
although I felt close to Papi
Slat was his fave person
and I know Slat is devastated

bahmer

Yup Slat kept me in the lope so to speak about Papi. He let me know that Papi was moving to Florida to be with his daughter there and also how much Papi had breathing and all. You three had a special bond between the three of you and the way that you kidded each other although I do remember that Papi was always the more serious of you three. He will be missed and he has been missed here on OPP much like you are missed when you are not here as well. Just remember that yes there is a lot of BS here on OPP but there also friends here as well and when you aren't here you are missed as well. Whether it's you Slats or Papi when you aren't here you are missed. Besides that I miss the fishing tales from you.