What doesn't work with the tall ones?
Oh, I know, they use your head for an armrest too.
Don't that just tick you off. Does me.
My baby brother is 6'7" and I'm 5'6".
I had to put his face in the dirt twice before he stopped doing that.
I didn't hurt him but he was shocked.
Always telling me I need to clean the top of my fridge.
So I would toss him a rag and say while you're standing there.
I can't see it so it doesn't bother me.

By John Kemp, local to the Waco, Tx. area.

I have lived in Texas most of my life and, like most Texans, I was raised pronouncing words differently than most other Americans. And as many of us will come to note as we gather around the table from different areas of the land this holiday season, the rest of our country speaks a different brand of English than Texans. Having visited or met people from all areas of America, I have to realize that Texans are the only people on earth who do not speak with an accent.

This would not be a problem if I only had to speak with my fellow Texans, but with the pronunciation deficiency plaguing our country, non-Texans actually think I'm speaking improperly. To top it off, my wife is a Yankee and I have to communicate with her...at least every once in a while.

My sainted wife and I have had long discussions about how to pronounce the words 'pin' & 'pen.' It turns out that people in her quadrant of the universe pronounce those two words differently. When she says those two words, I can hear a slight difference but, try as I might, when I say them they both always come out sounding like 'pen.'

This would not bother me as much if she hadn't lived part of her life in New Mexico. This means that not only does she pronounce 'proper' English differently than I do, she is also more fluent in Spanish. I have tried many, many times, but still can't roll my 'Rs' with a rolling pin!

At least I pronounce words better than my father did. He normally just dropped the 'g' off the end of words like 'thinkin' and 'sippin.' But, he also used words I never heard anywhere else. He used the word 'kinely.' No, this was not an adjective referring to, say, a kind person. It instead meant 'kind of.'

He used the word 'extree,' which didn't refer to a dead tree but meant 'extra.'

He also used the word 'betwix,' which meant 'between.' So, he would say, "Folks might be thinkin' that mustang wine was kinely like drinkin' grape juice, but after sippin' it a while, they'd feel it hit them extree hard, right betwix the eyes."

Fortunately, my vocabulary is not that extreme, but I still have to make a conscious effort to pronounce the word 'idea.' If I don't, it always come out 'ideer.' If you ever hear me say 'ideer,' I apologize. Please know that I am not talking about a new electronic deer mannequin for hunters marketed by the Apple Corporation.

I know all you grammar Nazis out there are cringing right now and are ready to send in a SWAT team to neutralize the problem. However, I have at times experienced a little of the agony you are going through. I remember the time a school administrator once announced to a group of teachers that they had to turn in a copy of all their 'sillibuses' by Friday. Yes, I feel your pain...at least a little bit.

True, we Texans must endure our fellow Americans living under the delusion that they speak proper English and are duty-bound to correct our speech. And although my wife has at times corrected my pronunciations of certain words. I believe I have gotten the last laugh. You see, when she moved to Texas to attend college, she swore she would never say 'y'all,' a vital part of the language for some of us. But, after just one semester of intense vocabulary therapy while at Baylor University, she began learnin' how to talk proper Texan...and y'all know what that means.

It isn't just Texans. I am totally southern where "bless your heart" can be a sympathetic positive OR a polite put down. I love all the differences of our many regions and though, here in the deep South, we have many of those "northerners" moving here, we expect them to adapt (and quickly) to our friendly ways including hugs and nosy friendly questions to make them friends immediately. They eventually understand that we wave at strangers and pull off the road for funeral processions.