slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

The speed with which a woman says "nothing," when asked what's wrong, is inversely proportional to the severity of the sh*t storm that's coming.

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.

My 60-yr. kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about the 195 lbs. I've gained.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a big bra and ask to "fill this out?"

Dennys has a slogan: "If its your birthday, the meal is on us." If you're in Dennys on your birthday, your life sucks.

On average, an American male will have sex 2-3 times a week; whereas, a Japanese man will have sex 2-3 times a year. This is devastating to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

I can't understand how women are okay that J.C. Penny has an older woman's clothing line name 'Sag Harbor.'

What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their nose?

When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a spider, so I can finally hear a woman say, "Oh, my God...its huge!"

Dwight Logan

There is an old saying that "nobody srarts out for Denny's"

Tug484

Funny

bahmer

Thanks for the laughs Slats.

Fit2BTied Loc: Texas

LOL, Man! Somebody had a 2nd helping of Wheaties this morning! Thanks for all the chuckles...

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Actually, this morning I treated myself to a small slice of blueberry cheesecake with my cup of coffee. It was tough to walk away from the rest of that cheesecake.

bahmer

Poor baby I feel for you but I can't quite reach you.