slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Due to my being a native-born Texan, I am reposting this old favorite of mine from a few years go...


The Angel Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing some real problems.

They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's BBQ sauce and picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep. They are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos.

They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing, and they insist on bringing their darn horse with them."

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

So, Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says, "Hello...hold on a minute." When he returns to the phone the Devil says, "Okay, I'm back. What can I do for you?"

Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you are having down there with the Texans."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." After about 5 minutes, the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back. Now, what was the question?"

Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with the Texans?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this...hold on!"

This time, the Devil was gone 15 minutes, and when he returns he says, "I'm sorry, Gabriel...I can't talk right now! Texan Red Adair has put out the fire here and now Brown & Root is installing air conditioning!
Got'ta run "

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

Slats, The Master of tall Tales.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Armie, every word out of a Texan's mouth is Gospel.

Tug484

Know those companies along with Boots and Coots.
My husband worked for Brown and Root at one time.
Brown was quite wealthy.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Brown & Root eventually became a subsidiary of Halliburton.

Tug484

I didn't know that.
There were three millionaires in Midland in the tops for millionaires and Brown was one of them.
When I first moved here, I thought Schlumberger was pronounced Schlumber burger.

bahmer

Fit2BTied Loc: Texas

I'm not a native Texan, but THAT was funny. Some folks may need to have the Adair/B&R refs explained, but if they'll DuckDuckGo the names they'll understand the humor.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

You get a pass on not being a Texan, as your stated appreciation for morning sex on another thread allows for some leeway.

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

Son, I say, boy, could anyone, I say, anyone, doubt, I say doubt that.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Hallelujah, Brother

Armageddun Loc: The show me state