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How To Bathe Your Cat
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Sep 14, 2019 18:16:02   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 18:22:07   #
bahmer
 
slatten49 wrote:
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.
How To Bathe Your Cat br br 1) Thoroughly clean t... (show quote)


I am sure that AuntiE would appreciate that little tidbit about how to give her cats a bath.

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 18:24:29   #
working class stiff Loc: N. Carolina
 
slatten49 wrote:
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.
How To Bathe Your Cat br br 1) Thoroughly clean t... (show quote)


Dang, that's just one mean dog!

I told my three cats that story and they said the dog needs a cleaning too. Just tie his feet together and run a carpet cleaner over him was their suggestion. And since dogs stink when wet, better to do it twice.

Sounds to me like they might belong to different political parties...the dogs and cats I mean.

Reply
 
 
Sep 14, 2019 19:05:48   #
Lonewolf
 
slatten49 wrote:
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.
How To Bathe Your Cat br br 1) Thoroughly clean t... (show quote)


good idea last time I tried the sink I lost a lot of blood

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 19:12:47   #
Y360AZ
 
TWO lids? That's different. Mine have always had one lid and a seat.

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 20:04:37   #
sisboombaa
 
slatten49 wrote:
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.
How To Bathe Your Cat br br 1) Thoroughly clean t... (show quote)

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 20:18:28   #
sisboombaa
 
slatten49 wrote:
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.
How To Bathe Your Cat br br 1) Thoroughly clean t... (show quote)


Your instructions on how to give a kitty a bath is wasted effort on me. I don't own a cat. Poor poor me. However, to fit in with society I may try your suggestion on the neighbor's cat. I can just hear the plumber now, "your clog was caused by a giant fur ball". Think maybe I should use the neighbor's toilet too?

Reply
 
 
Sep 14, 2019 21:03:08   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
slatten49 wrote:
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.
How To Bathe Your Cat br br 1) Thoroughly clean t... (show quote)


I can picture our Welsh Terrier Chaos writing that set of instructions!!!

NPP and SWMBO

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 21:37:01   #
Tug484
 
slatten49 wrote:
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.
How To Bathe Your Cat br br 1) Thoroughly clean t... (show quote)


Cute.
I had two cats that liked water.
One always sat on the side of the tub to supervise.
She liked me dropping water on her, then one day she fell in.
From then on she watched from the toilet pushing the handle and letting go.
She would look at me like, what are you going to do about it?
I had two rabbits to bathe.
The female was ok. The boy would jump straight up to the ceiling from the bathtub.

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 21:39:04   #
bggamers Loc: georgia
 
slatten49 wrote:
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.
How To Bathe Your Cat br br 1) Thoroughly clean t... (show quote)


you will have animals activist crawling up your leg shortly(prediction of the day)

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 22:15:08   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
bggamers wrote:
you will have animals activist crawling up your leg shortly(prediction of the day)
img src="https://static.onepoliticalplaza.com/ima... (show quote)

Our two small dogs gave the cat-bathing directions. However, our cat gave it a .

Imagine that.

Reply
 
 
Sep 14, 2019 22:17:19   #
Tug484
 
slatten49 wrote:
Our two small dogs gave the cat-bathing directions. However, our cat gave it a .

Imagine that.


My cat isn't too happy either.

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 22:17:59   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
sisboombaa wrote:
Your instructions on how to give a kitty a bath is wasted effort on me. I don't own a cat. Poor poor me. However, to fit in with society I may try your suggestion on the neighbor's cat. I can just hear the plumber now, "your clog was caused by a giant fur ball". Think maybe I should use the neighbor's toilet too?

Use your neighbor's toilet at your own risk. I absolve myself from all responsibilities.

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 23:41:03   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
slatten49 wrote:
How To Bathe Your Cat

1) Thoroughly clean the toilet bowl.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds...ignore ruckus from toilet...cat is enjoying this.
6) Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open outside door, while standing as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift bath lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors, where he will air-dry

Sincerely, the dog.
How To Bathe Your Cat br br 1) Thoroughly clean t... (show quote)


I found driving it to the taxidermist to be a lot less labor intensive, but hey, to each his own!

Reply
Sep 14, 2019 23:43:12   #
Tug484
 
archie bunker wrote:
I found driving it to the taxidermist to be a lot less labor intensive, but hey, to each his own!


Slatten, I bet your wife has a blast and you keep her laughing.

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