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finding yourself.
May 13, 2014 17:01:57 #
well a lot is to be said about this, all those that have come before us, those generations that got us to where we are, all of them, the trillions of humans before us that lived and died, did one, just one, find the meaning of life? did they find themselves? what did they learn? what did they know that we dont? what did we lose? what have we gained? are we born into our time? does it matter? which god is the right one? is there one?
so many questions.
so...many
we are here, you are, I am, we are on this little blue marble in this solar system in this milky way in this universe, why? where are we? what are we? who are we? how did we get here?
but quite frankly:
I have no idea, we are all lost, and we can only hope that tomorrow will bring us a little closer to the answer. we find ourselves through what happens to us, and how we feel act and think every moment of every day.
I said once that the meaning of life is directly connected to your own individual perception of reality. that is the truest thing I have said so far.
many turn to god, and many turn to science.
a mans mind is unstable on its own, it was wired specifically to deal with the world around it, a human can only take so much silence before they go insane,
now think about this:
imagine nothingness to the best of your ability, you cannot fully, because you are aware that you are something, and you have never consciously experienced nothingness in a world of things.
but back to what I was saying, nothingness; your mind would go insane, it would stem from one question; what is this place? then it would continue; where am I? why is this like this? what is that?
now think, if you were conscious in a place of nothingness one question would simply make things happen, the universe without one conscious being in it does not exist because nothing is there to recognize it's existence.
now right about here on the journey to figure things out the mind gets confused and thoughts become unorganized because of too much possible information to be thought at once, I sure am getting to that point.
so lets work around it as best we can.
god, an everlasting.... what? being? force? essence? does it exist within its own creation? no? yes?
ALL of these questions I ask you must answer yourself, you hold the answer, whether it may be science, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam or Hinduism? or any other belief system and way of life?
all of this has been on my doc, this is a very light and rich summary of what is inside of it.
I am done with it, this thought has stopped, I have settled into a routine of finding myself, not as crazy anymore, more open and calm and relaxed and driven, not as lost, still finding my way no doubt, but relaxed and peacefully, that thought tortured me for an entire year.
here is another sample:
I am simply going through time, at the same pace as everyone else, but I feel life is not about grades, or about getting a good job, or even about making a living, not that that isnt a good thing. Life is about you, you are living, you are conscious, so you must find yourself, as of right now, I am still looking, because I am still living, and as long as you live, you will always find something new about yourself if you look hard enough. To those that say, life isnt all about you! they are so terribly wrong, life is all about you, you must stand by what you believe until death, there are those that will not stand by a single belief, I understand, but if you do not stand by YOUR ideals, life for you is meaningless, love life, although it may seem life may not love you, because you are alive, and just remember that humans are the only species that are not satisfied with just their existence, and life is everything and nothing, life is also just a product of consciousness, as with everything you see, hear, feel and perceive. I wish this document to be a testimony to humanity, I just feel a need, like no other to get out what I have to say, to enlighten those after me who have the path of the thinker, I pray to whatever may be pulling the strings in this incredible love of good and evil, love and hatred, compassion and ruthlessness that my life will have purpose, I want to see the world for as it is, not this jail of perception called a conscious mind. Though this is what I want, I have fear that what I may see if I ever get there has more evil than good, hatred than love, but then again both of which are just products of the mind, so with that being said, you must lose consciousness in order to gain it, you must have no knowledge of the world to judge it, to judge it you need a conscious, but in order to see the world as it really is, you must lose consciousness. I love the world, but I know this feeling I have is the product of something that is the product of something that we may never understand. What makes awareness? Knowledge? What makes knowledge? Awareness. Thus this life is nothing but an infinite paradox. Have I just cracked the code of life? No, because in order to do so you must do it without awareness. With this being said, our youth, our babies, who look at this world from an influenced perspective, are the closest to finding out the meaning, but at the same time, they believe whatever they experience as reality, because that is all they know, so I have come again to hit a wall of existence, existence of logic, space, and time. There are things beyond it that we may only experience for ourselves, but we can only experience it when we are of no knowledge of anything, not even life, or of self. This is the problem of life that has plagued itself.
_______________
this my friends, was one of my fits of thought.
I am over that, I am done thinking myself in circles, it hurt my perception. but now I am not letting the world pass me by, I am taking notes, learning and working. I am closer to finding myself when I am not even looking, I just learn from life, not think myself in circles without looking around and learning more from life, not from thought that gets me nowhere. I am very very cryptic when I think, I don't know why.
this existential crisis I had is probably one of the most vulnerable things to me ever, so if you need to gut me, then go ahead, because I am past that literally mental back flip I had, I just tried to find the meaning of life through thought, stupidly and at a young age with little experience with life really.
this topic is probably everywhere considering it is mixed with the old me and the new, looser and mellow me. but I will let you all discuss this for now, I am very tired. and once again I ask you all this:
what do think?
:XD:
so many questions.
so...many
we are here, you are, I am, we are on this little blue marble in this solar system in this milky way in this universe, why? where are we? what are we? who are we? how did we get here?
but quite frankly:
I have no idea, we are all lost, and we can only hope that tomorrow will bring us a little closer to the answer. we find ourselves through what happens to us, and how we feel act and think every moment of every day.
I said once that the meaning of life is directly connected to your own individual perception of reality. that is the truest thing I have said so far.
many turn to god, and many turn to science.
a mans mind is unstable on its own, it was wired specifically to deal with the world around it, a human can only take so much silence before they go insane,
now think about this:
imagine nothingness to the best of your ability, you cannot fully, because you are aware that you are something, and you have never consciously experienced nothingness in a world of things.
but back to what I was saying, nothingness; your mind would go insane, it would stem from one question; what is this place? then it would continue; where am I? why is this like this? what is that?
now think, if you were conscious in a place of nothingness one question would simply make things happen, the universe without one conscious being in it does not exist because nothing is there to recognize it's existence.
now right about here on the journey to figure things out the mind gets confused and thoughts become unorganized because of too much possible information to be thought at once, I sure am getting to that point.
so lets work around it as best we can.
god, an everlasting.... what? being? force? essence? does it exist within its own creation? no? yes?
ALL of these questions I ask you must answer yourself, you hold the answer, whether it may be science, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam or Hinduism? or any other belief system and way of life?
all of this has been on my doc, this is a very light and rich summary of what is inside of it.
I am done with it, this thought has stopped, I have settled into a routine of finding myself, not as crazy anymore, more open and calm and relaxed and driven, not as lost, still finding my way no doubt, but relaxed and peacefully, that thought tortured me for an entire year.
here is another sample:
I am simply going through time, at the same pace as everyone else, but I feel life is not about grades, or about getting a good job, or even about making a living, not that that isnt a good thing. Life is about you, you are living, you are conscious, so you must find yourself, as of right now, I am still looking, because I am still living, and as long as you live, you will always find something new about yourself if you look hard enough. To those that say, life isnt all about you! they are so terribly wrong, life is all about you, you must stand by what you believe until death, there are those that will not stand by a single belief, I understand, but if you do not stand by YOUR ideals, life for you is meaningless, love life, although it may seem life may not love you, because you are alive, and just remember that humans are the only species that are not satisfied with just their existence, and life is everything and nothing, life is also just a product of consciousness, as with everything you see, hear, feel and perceive. I wish this document to be a testimony to humanity, I just feel a need, like no other to get out what I have to say, to enlighten those after me who have the path of the thinker, I pray to whatever may be pulling the strings in this incredible love of good and evil, love and hatred, compassion and ruthlessness that my life will have purpose, I want to see the world for as it is, not this jail of perception called a conscious mind. Though this is what I want, I have fear that what I may see if I ever get there has more evil than good, hatred than love, but then again both of which are just products of the mind, so with that being said, you must lose consciousness in order to gain it, you must have no knowledge of the world to judge it, to judge it you need a conscious, but in order to see the world as it really is, you must lose consciousness. I love the world, but I know this feeling I have is the product of something that is the product of something that we may never understand. What makes awareness? Knowledge? What makes knowledge? Awareness. Thus this life is nothing but an infinite paradox. Have I just cracked the code of life? No, because in order to do so you must do it without awareness. With this being said, our youth, our babies, who look at this world from an influenced perspective, are the closest to finding out the meaning, but at the same time, they believe whatever they experience as reality, because that is all they know, so I have come again to hit a wall of existence, existence of logic, space, and time. There are things beyond it that we may only experience for ourselves, but we can only experience it when we are of no knowledge of anything, not even life, or of self. This is the problem of life that has plagued itself.
_______________
this my friends, was one of my fits of thought.
I am over that, I am done thinking myself in circles, it hurt my perception. but now I am not letting the world pass me by, I am taking notes, learning and working. I am closer to finding myself when I am not even looking, I just learn from life, not think myself in circles without looking around and learning more from life, not from thought that gets me nowhere. I am very very cryptic when I think, I don't know why.
this existential crisis I had is probably one of the most vulnerable things to me ever, so if you need to gut me, then go ahead, because I am past that literally mental back flip I had, I just tried to find the meaning of life through thought, stupidly and at a young age with little experience with life really.
this topic is probably everywhere considering it is mixed with the old me and the new, looser and mellow me. but I will let you all discuss this for now, I am very tired. and once again I ask you all this:
what do think?
:XD:
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