Saint Peter is seeing all of the new arrivals trying to go through the
pearly gates in Heaven.

The first applicant of the day,moldy oldy explains that his last day was not a good one.

"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed
she had just gotten out of the shower.

Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too.

I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover.

I went onto the balcony of our 9th-floor apartment and found the guy
clinging to the rail by his fingertips.

I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He
let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes.

On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our
antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man
and killed him.

At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart
attack and died." Saint Peter thanked him and sent him on to the
waiting room.

The second applicant,Archie Bunker said that his last day was his worst..."I was on
the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment and I
stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building.

I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th-floor apartment but
some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a
flower pot.

I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked
up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the
way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."

Saint Peter couldn't help but chuckle as he directs Archie to the waiting room.

Saint Peter is still giggling when his third customer of the day, Ipsen Major enters.

He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting
as the two fellows that arrived here just before you."

I don't know" replies the Major "Picture this, I'm naked, hiding in
this cedar chest....