Republicans Projected to Pick Up Seventy Seats in Prison
Aug 9, 2018 11:54:33 #
Bad Bob
Loc: Virginia
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a development that could dramatically change the composition of the federal penitentiary system, Republicans are projected to pick up as many as seventy seats in prison, a leading incarceration expert said on Thursday.
“Prognostication is an inexact science,” Davis Logsdon, who studies conviction rates of corrupt politicians for the University of Minnesota’s Guilt Project, said. “Having said that, if current indictment trends hold up, the Republicans could be flipping at least seventy key prison seats.”
Logsdon broke down criminal cases against Republicans into likely convictions, likely acquittals, and toss-ups, and found that the G.O.P.’s path to the magic number of seventy new prison cells was “very doable.”
According to his projections, Republicans are running for prison “especially well” in districts where the G.O.P. member of Congress was an early supporter of Donald J. Trump.
“In those districts, we’re seeing Republicans who did an incredible job of raising money,” he said. “All of that money is going to translate into a huge number of new freshman prisoners.”
All in all, Logsdon sees the prospect of seventy new Republicans in prison as “nothing short of seismic.”
“Prisons need to get ready,” he said. “A red wave is coming.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.Read
“Prognostication is an inexact science,” Davis Logsdon, who studies conviction rates of corrupt politicians for the University of Minnesota’s Guilt Project, said. “Having said that, if current indictment trends hold up, the Republicans could be flipping at least seventy key prison seats.”
Logsdon broke down criminal cases against Republicans into likely convictions, likely acquittals, and toss-ups, and found that the G.O.P.’s path to the magic number of seventy new prison cells was “very doable.”
According to his projections, Republicans are running for prison “especially well” in districts where the G.O.P. member of Congress was an early supporter of Donald J. Trump.
“In those districts, we’re seeing Republicans who did an incredible job of raising money,” he said. “All of that money is going to translate into a huge number of new freshman prisoners.”
All in all, Logsdon sees the prospect of seventy new Republicans in prison as “nothing short of seismic.”
“Prisons need to get ready,” he said. “A red wave is coming.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.Read
Aug 9, 2018 11:59:35 #
Aug 10, 2018 17:11:06 #
Bad Bob wrote:
See, this is an instance where real humor was used properly to promote a side of the ever present argument. I laughed heartily at this. I don't agree with the inference - but since I know that there are probably just as many sleazy Republicans out there as there are sleazy Democrats, the idea that November will produce a veritable "orange wave" (as in prison garb color - not President Trump) is really funny. It's a shame that when conservatives attempt humor, the left calls the political correctness Nazis in to rebuke and silence them. C'mon folks - agree to disagree, but do it with class!!WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a development ... (show quote)
Aug 10, 2018 17:22:02 #
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.