The Corps
found it had too many
Sgts and offered an early retirement bonus. They went through lots of retirement plans but nothing seemed to please everyone.

In the end, desperate, they promised any Sgt who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body, with the Sgt getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force Sgt, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet.
He walked out with a check of $720,000.

The second man, an Army Sgt, asked them to measure from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.



When the third Sgt, a grizzled old Marine Sgt named Poppa Gringo, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."

The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine Sgt might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two Sgts had received. But Poppa insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.


The medical officer attended and asked Poppa to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of Poppa's penis and began to work back.


"My God man!" he said, "where are your testicles??"

"Korea," smiled Poppa