Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters.
Feb 17, 2018 04:23:20 #
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang, 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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And this one just about sums them all up:
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
Now you just got to laugh. There ant nothing else to do.
RETW
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang, 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
And this one just about sums them all up:
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
Now you just got to laugh. There ant nothing else to do.
RETW
Feb 17, 2018 05:51:23 #
RETW wrote:
These sentences actually appeared in church bullet... (show quote)
It's um to someone lse to see
Not my problem...
Quote
Quote
Feb 17, 2018 05:57:00 #
Feb 17, 2018 06:20:01 #
Feb 17, 2018 06:28:08 #
bggamers
Loc: georgia
RETW wrote:
These sentences actually appeared in church bullet... (show quote)
love it thanks I needed a laugh before I drag myself to work
Feb 17, 2018 06:52:25 #
bggamers wrote:
love it thanks I needed a laugh before I drag myse... (show quote)
There's something wrong and it's up to him to do something about it.!
There's something major going on and it's up to him to do something about it. His nutrition has been established
Feb 17, 2018 07:29:05 #
Feb 17, 2018 08:20:20 #
Feb 17, 2018 08:34:55 #
PeterS wrote:
There's something wrong and it's up to him to do something about it.!
There's something major going on and it's up to him to do something about it. His nutrition has been established
There's something major going on and it's up to him to do something about it. His nutrition has been established
The drugs are wearing off.
Feb 17, 2018 08:42:48 #
Feb 17, 2018 15:04:05 #
PeterS wrote:
There's something wrong and it's up to him to do something about it.!
There's something major going on and it's up to him to do something about it. His nutrition has been established
There's something major going on and it's up to him to do something about it. His nutrition has been established
Why do you have to be an ass all the time?
Feb 17, 2018 15:05:55 #
PeterS wrote:
It's um to someone lse to see
Not my problem...
Quote
Quote
Not my problem...
Quote
Quote
Get off the booze.
Feb 17, 2018 15:07:28 #
Hemiman wrote:
The drugs are wearing off.
Dam that idiot is such a pain in the ass.
Feb 17, 2018 19:42:38 #
RETW wrote:
Dam that idiot is such a pain in the ass.
His mother even hates him.
Feb 18, 2018 12:19:34 #
RETW wrote:
These sentences actually appeared in church bullet... (show quote)
All of them are good ones.
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