OK People, Listen Up! Time To Giggle!
Jan 30, 2018 18:51:07 #
I'm Tired.
Q. How many worn-out housewives does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One – ONE! That’s right you guessed it, it’s me! Why ME?! Do you think I have nothing better to do with my time?! DO YOU THINK A HOUSE GETS CLEANED BY ITSELF???!! Is it my job to change the light bulb too?!
I feel like I’m constantly running after everyone cleaning up their mess! HAVE YOU SEEN ME SIT DOWN ONCE THE WHOLE DAY?!
And if anyone else in the family ever agrees to put in the light bulb, they complain the whole way through like I am squeezing their neck. It would just be easier for me to just do it myself. Being a housewife is the most under appreciated job in the world!
I SHOULD STOP CLEANING for a WEEK and then you’ll all appreciate all that I DO!
Jury Duty
It was Sally’s first time going for jury duty and she was a little bit apprehensive. “I would just like you to know” said Sally as soon as she was in front of the judge “that I feel very strongly that capital punishment is morally unjust and incorrect.”
“That’s OK , said the judge “capital punishment is not a possibility in this case so it’s perfectly fine for you to serve on this jury.”
“What’s the case about?” Asked Sally.
“Well Mrs. Smith is filing a suit against her husband for gambling away the money she had saved for remodeling her bathroom”, replied the judge.
“Alright” replied Sally “I’ll serve on this one, I may have been wrong about the capital punishment thing after all.”
With Friends Like That...
A cop pulled over a car and finds a young couple in the front seat. “Where’s your seat belt young man?” asked the cop.
“Oh, I just took if off now when you were walking up to the car”, responded the man.
“No you didn’t!” exclaimed his wife, “you never wear your seat belt!”.
A little taken aback, the cop asked to see his license.
“Aw shucks!” cried the man, “I must have left it home!”
“Yeah right!” screamed his wife, “You know it expired 3 months ago!”
At a loss for words, the cop asked the woman “are you always so tough on him?!”
“No” responded the young woman, “only when he had too much to drink!”.
She's such A Dear, Sweet Lady.
Sally walked in to the Dentist office to make an appointment. “How much do you charge to pull out a tooth?” She asked.”
“It’s $130”, was the prompt reply.
“$130!” gasped Sally, that’s ridiculous! There must be a way for you to go cheaper.”
“Well,” said the Dentist thoughtfully, I suppose if we don’t numb it, we could knock off $30.”
“Only $30?,” countered Sally, “that’s still $100, you’ve got to make it cheaper.”
“Well,” said the Dentist after a long pause, “I suppose if we take it out with a wrench we could knock it down to $50.”
“Perfect”, said Sally happily. “I would like to make an appointment for next Tuesday, for my husband Jack.”
And with that, I'll leave you with this one final thought:
Marriage is a relationship were one person is always right... And the other is the husband.
Q. How many worn-out housewives does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One – ONE! That’s right you guessed it, it’s me! Why ME?! Do you think I have nothing better to do with my time?! DO YOU THINK A HOUSE GETS CLEANED BY ITSELF???!! Is it my job to change the light bulb too?!
I feel like I’m constantly running after everyone cleaning up their mess! HAVE YOU SEEN ME SIT DOWN ONCE THE WHOLE DAY?!
And if anyone else in the family ever agrees to put in the light bulb, they complain the whole way through like I am squeezing their neck. It would just be easier for me to just do it myself. Being a housewife is the most under appreciated job in the world!
I SHOULD STOP CLEANING for a WEEK and then you’ll all appreciate all that I DO!
Jury Duty
It was Sally’s first time going for jury duty and she was a little bit apprehensive. “I would just like you to know” said Sally as soon as she was in front of the judge “that I feel very strongly that capital punishment is morally unjust and incorrect.”
“That’s OK , said the judge “capital punishment is not a possibility in this case so it’s perfectly fine for you to serve on this jury.”
“What’s the case about?” Asked Sally.
“Well Mrs. Smith is filing a suit against her husband for gambling away the money she had saved for remodeling her bathroom”, replied the judge.
“Alright” replied Sally “I’ll serve on this one, I may have been wrong about the capital punishment thing after all.”
With Friends Like That...
A cop pulled over a car and finds a young couple in the front seat. “Where’s your seat belt young man?” asked the cop.
“Oh, I just took if off now when you were walking up to the car”, responded the man.
“No you didn’t!” exclaimed his wife, “you never wear your seat belt!”.
A little taken aback, the cop asked to see his license.
“Aw shucks!” cried the man, “I must have left it home!”
“Yeah right!” screamed his wife, “You know it expired 3 months ago!”
At a loss for words, the cop asked the woman “are you always so tough on him?!”
“No” responded the young woman, “only when he had too much to drink!”.
She's such A Dear, Sweet Lady.
Sally walked in to the Dentist office to make an appointment. “How much do you charge to pull out a tooth?” She asked.”
“It’s $130”, was the prompt reply.
“$130!” gasped Sally, that’s ridiculous! There must be a way for you to go cheaper.”
“Well,” said the Dentist thoughtfully, I suppose if we don’t numb it, we could knock off $30.”
“Only $30?,” countered Sally, “that’s still $100, you’ve got to make it cheaper.”
“Well,” said the Dentist after a long pause, “I suppose if we take it out with a wrench we could knock it down to $50.”
“Perfect”, said Sally happily. “I would like to make an appointment for next Tuesday, for my husband Jack.”
And with that, I'll leave you with this one final thought:
Marriage is a relationship were one person is always right... And the other is the husband.
Jan 31, 2018 06:56:22 #
In this you are correct, but Im guessing not usually.
Jan 31, 2018 11:37:38 #
Larry the Legend wrote:
b I'm Tired. /b br br Q. How many worn-out hous... (show quote)
It appears that this couple could use some marriage counseling.Jan 31, 2018 21:13:28 #
It appears that one should run like hell! Mike
bahmer wrote: It appears that this couple could use some marriage counseling.
It appears that this couple could use some marriage counseling.
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