pafret Loc: Northeast

This Blonde Locked Herself Out Of Her Car...

Two blondes were driving down the road. The driver noticed that she was low on gas, so she stopped at the gas station. While she was pumping her gas, she noticed that she had locked the keys in the car.

When she went inside to pay, the blonde asked the attendant for a coat hanger so she could attempt to open the door herself.

http://en.bcdn.biz/Images/2016/11/21/c5823549-f869-4d12-8414-222115c7ae0c.jpg

She went outside and began to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant went outside to see how the blonde was faring. The blonde outside of the car was moving the hanger around and around.

Meanwhile, the blonde inside of the car was saying: "A little more to the left. A little more to the right ... "

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Dang, my first wife and her girlfriend.

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

Lololol very good!! Lololol

Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

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Blondes like liberals--there is no end to jokes about them!

Blonde Highway Patrol

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway

Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said,

"So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled
out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such
as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face!
You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in
her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady?
This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but . . " He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything

distinguishing or unusual about this man?"


The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled __expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears
contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo!
With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

alabuck Loc: Tennessee

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.

alabuck Loc: Tennessee

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde a dded, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

bahmer

lololol very good thanks.

SGM B Loc: TEXAS but live in Alabama now

Well, I wasnt going to get into this, but I find I must...a tall, beautiful blonde (aren't they all) was walking down the street wearing headphones. She wanted to get her hair trimmed and nails done so went into the first salon and asked the manager if it could be done with her headphones on, the lady said no, that the headphones would have to be removed. The blonde said that wasn't possible so disappointedly left the salon. She went to several others but got the same response, can't trim her hair with headphones on. Exhausted and exasperated she entered the last salon and the manager said she could indeed trim her with the headphones on and directed her to a chair. As the hairdresser was working on the blonde's hair, she was so tired and relaxed, she fell asleep. The hairdresser was tired of trying to work around the headphones, so gentley removed them so as not to wake the blonde. In a few short minutes, the blonde went into convulsions, turned blue and fell out of the chair - graveyard dead. When the coroner arrived to pick up the body, he noticed the headphones and thought it strange that they were on the floor so he picked them up and listened... what he heard in the headphones was a males voice in a soothing tone saying "breathe in - breathe out - breathe in..."

Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

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Iz this a joke??

SGM B Loc: TEXAS but live in Alabama now

Well, I thought it was, possibly albeit in poor taste - you surely didn't take it as fact did you? If so...are you possibly a blonde as well? 😉😋
SGM B out.

Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

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Not blonde, just an old man with a different sense of humor.

SGM B Loc: TEXAS but live in Alabama now

Ahhhh, that explains everything. I too am an old man, some say I have no sense of humor, but what do they know?? LOL!