Why I waited 40 years
Nov 15, 2017 22:44:02 #
Nov 15, 2017 22:44:40 #
Why would a woman wait to confront her accuser? Personal reasons, maybe.
I waited 40 years. My accuser, the preachers youngest son and my fathers youngest brother told me my father could never love me if he knew I was a whore now. I believed him. I was three years old. My mom said as she helped me wash blood from my training pants, we won't tell Daddy. Big eyes! I know now she feared fratricide.
I waited fourty years until he was dead so he wouldn't stop loving me. Logically I knew better but my tongue would never move when I tried to tell anyone. Last year at my mothers funeral, he kept trying to get me to give him a hug. I gently declined. In his seventies. Lives alone. Sick I hear. His daughter refuses contact. Justice is served.
I keep previewing this post, wondering how it will change how I am viewed by those who know me, and how reading this will shape the view of those who dont know me.
I wonder how many of our OPP boys and girls have similar secrets.
Why do we feel we must still keep the secret?
Realizing they all win when one of us keeps the secret, I am pressing
Send....
I waited 40 years. My accuser, the preachers youngest son and my fathers youngest brother told me my father could never love me if he knew I was a whore now. I believed him. I was three years old. My mom said as she helped me wash blood from my training pants, we won't tell Daddy. Big eyes! I know now she feared fratricide.
I waited fourty years until he was dead so he wouldn't stop loving me. Logically I knew better but my tongue would never move when I tried to tell anyone. Last year at my mothers funeral, he kept trying to get me to give him a hug. I gently declined. In his seventies. Lives alone. Sick I hear. His daughter refuses contact. Justice is served.
I keep previewing this post, wondering how it will change how I am viewed by those who know me, and how reading this will shape the view of those who dont know me.
I wonder how many of our OPP boys and girls have similar secrets.
Why do we feel we must still keep the secret?
Realizing they all win when one of us keeps the secret, I am pressing
Send....
Nov 15, 2017 23:01:05 #
Singularity wrote:
Why would a woman wait to confront her accuser? Pe... (show quote)
That was more information than we needed......................Sing...y.
Tell us a bedtime story instead.
Nov 15, 2017 23:15:42 #
Wolf counselor wrote:
That was more information than we needed......................Sing...y.
Tell us a bedtime story instead.
Tell us a bedtime story instead.
I know, but the weight has been so heavy, and everyone keeps asking why any one would wait...
But, ok.
So the tiny girl watched as dust motes, scattered from the hay, danced in a slant of sunlight peeking through the cracks in the wall of the barn stall.
Squinting through tears, she imagined the tiny dancing points of light to be the Father's angels coming to comfort and save her. Her pain and fear faded as the fingers of one little hand stretched weakly towards them. And she fell asleep there where he left her, dreaming of dancing on air with the angels.
And they lived happily ever after.
Nov 15, 2017 23:23:35 #
Singularity wrote:
Why would a woman wait to confront her accuser? Pe... (show quote)
Everyone has secrets. Everyone has problems. Life isn't fair, never has been, never will be. I'm sympathetic to your situation but it is your situation and you have been dealing with it in your own way and will continue dealing with it irrespective of any action you choose in the future.
The beauty of forgiveness is that it releases you from the grip of the monster inside that delights in tormenting you. Forgive them and live today for tomorrow, not for yesterday.
Nov 15, 2017 23:25:06 #
Boo_Boo
Loc: Jellystone
The story contradicts itself..... She wait for him to die, but he now lives alone. Sorry, but I find the "story"
to be questionable. And, it is much more than I need or want to know! Great Point Wolf!!
to be questionable. And, it is much more than I need or want to know! Great Point Wolf!!
Wolf counselor wrote:
That was more information than we needed......................Sing...y.
Tell us a bedtime story instead.
Tell us a bedtime story instead.
Nov 15, 2017 23:43:47 #
Pennylynn wrote:
The story contradicts itself..... She wait for him to die, but he now lives alone. Sorry, but I find the "story"
to be questionable. And, it is much more than I need or want to know! Great Point Wolf!!
to be questionable. And, it is much more than I need or want to know! Great Point Wolf!!
There's no contradiction, just confusing use of "he" to refer to her father and her abuser (her father's younger brother).
To clarify:
"I waited fourty years until he [her father] was dead so he [her father] wouldn't stop loving me. Logically I knew better but my tongue would never move when I tried to tell anyone. Last year at my mothers funeral, he [her abuser, her father's youngest brother] kept trying to get me to give him [her abuser, her father's youngest brother] a hug. I gently declined. In his [her abuser, her father's youngest brother] seventies. Lives alone. Sick I hear. His [her abuser, her father's youngest brother] daughter refuses contact. Justice is served.
Check out topic: Wow where’s the MAGA folks
Nov 15, 2017 23:56:51 #
Pennylynn wrote:
The story contradicts itself..... She wait for him to die, but he now lives alone. Sorry, but I find the "story"
to be questionable. And, it is much more than I need or want to know! Great Point Wolf!!
to be questionable. And, it is much more than I need or want to know! Great Point Wolf!!
As I clearly explained, I waited 40 years for.my FATHER to die before I confronted my RAPIST, his baby brother.
With gentleness and forgiveness.
I shall retire now and attempt to find repose and strength as I school myself in lovingkindness. I shall not post again until I achieve forgiveness of another whose transgression has just come to my attention.
Nov 16, 2017 00:02:21 #
Singularity wrote:
As I clearly explained, I waited 40 years for.my FATHER to die before I confronted my RAPIST, his baby brother.
With gentleness and forgiveness.
I shall retire now and attempt to find repose and strength as I school myself in lovingkindness. I shall not post again until I achieve forgiveness of another whose transgression has just come to my attention.
With gentleness and forgiveness.
I shall retire now and attempt to find repose and strength as I school myself in lovingkindness. I shall not post again until I achieve forgiveness of another whose transgression has just come to my attention.
Good night Sing....y.
Nov 16, 2017 00:13:37 #
Boo_Boo
Loc: Jellystone
Read it again....this time without editing what was written. We all edit as we read, so this is not a disparaging remark about you or your haste to defend the author.
Here is what I gleamed from the post. Her [i]accusers[i] not "abusers" were the pastor's son and her uncle. She did not identify her "abuser." As stated, they said "her father" would not love her, and she waited 40 years and his death, and the only one in her narrative who would not love her if she told, implying her "father." She wait 40 years for "his" death so he could not withdraw his love. Later on she tells how her father, or one of the accusers(?) tried to initiate personal contact in the form of a hug at her mother's funeral. And went on to say that he lives alone, implying that her father is still alive. So, which is it.... did her father die during the past year and she is finally free to tell her story? Or was her father the "abuser"? Or was the entire thing made up in a marijuana induced delusion? You decide.
Sorry, too many years dealing with people who are not candid with their stories of neglect or abuse. There is always a nugget of truth in their stories and a great deal that they make up.
Here is what I gleamed from the post. Her [i]accusers[i] not "abusers" were the pastor's son and her uncle. She did not identify her "abuser." As stated, they said "her father" would not love her, and she waited 40 years and his death, and the only one in her narrative who would not love her if she told, implying her "father." She wait 40 years for "his" death so he could not withdraw his love. Later on she tells how her father, or one of the accusers(?) tried to initiate personal contact in the form of a hug at her mother's funeral. And went on to say that he lives alone, implying that her father is still alive. So, which is it.... did her father die during the past year and she is finally free to tell her story? Or was her father the "abuser"? Or was the entire thing made up in a marijuana induced delusion? You decide.
Sorry, too many years dealing with people who are not candid with their stories of neglect or abuse. There is always a nugget of truth in their stories and a great deal that they make up.
acknowledgeurma wrote:
There's no contradiction, just confusing use of &q... (show quote)
Nov 16, 2017 00:48:40 #
[quote=Pennylynn]Read it again....this time without editing what was written. We all edit as we read, so this is not a disparaging remark about you or your haste to defend the author.
Here is what I gleamed from the post. Her [i]accusers[i] not "abusers" were the pastor's son and her uncle. She did not identify her "abuser." As stated, they said "her father" would not love her, and she waited 40 years and his death, and the only one in her narrative who would not love her if she told, implying her "father." She wait 40 years for "his" death so he could not withdraw his love. Later on she tells how her father, or one of the accusers(?) tried to initiate personal contact in the form of a hug at her mother's funeral. And went on to say that he lives alone, implying that her father is still alive. So, which is it.... did her father die during the past year and she is finally free to tell her story? Or was her father the "abuser"? Or was the entire thing made up in a marijuana induced delusion? You decide.
Sorry, too many years dealing with people who are not candid with their stories of neglect or abuse. There is always a nugget of truth in their stories and a great deal that they make up.[/quote]
I suppose one who writes as if English were her second language, unless presenting someone elses pirated works, would have difficulty following my narrative and might be forgiven if her craven nature and desire for vengeance for a prick of ego a couple months prior should overwhelm her caution to the point of revealing her ugly nature to the world to gain surcease of this narcissistic wound by demonstrating an illogical edit of another's post, choosing at every possible point to make the most unlikely edits and assumptions if only to support her own eccentric and salacious interpretation.
But enough about extraneous errata. I started out meaning to address YOU pennylyn, and YOUR post in THIS thread and have let myself get distracted about another matter here, and am going on and on about more things no one cares to read about!
If I have made unfair assumptions, or cast careless aspersions, you must let me know, my dear. I ask your forgiveness and I am deeply sorry for my run on sentence here.
Here is what I gleamed from the post. Her [i]accusers[i] not "abusers" were the pastor's son and her uncle. She did not identify her "abuser." As stated, they said "her father" would not love her, and she waited 40 years and his death, and the only one in her narrative who would not love her if she told, implying her "father." She wait 40 years for "his" death so he could not withdraw his love. Later on she tells how her father, or one of the accusers(?) tried to initiate personal contact in the form of a hug at her mother's funeral. And went on to say that he lives alone, implying that her father is still alive. So, which is it.... did her father die during the past year and she is finally free to tell her story? Or was her father the "abuser"? Or was the entire thing made up in a marijuana induced delusion? You decide.
Sorry, too many years dealing with people who are not candid with their stories of neglect or abuse. There is always a nugget of truth in their stories and a great deal that they make up.[/quote]
I suppose one who writes as if English were her second language, unless presenting someone elses pirated works, would have difficulty following my narrative and might be forgiven if her craven nature and desire for vengeance for a prick of ego a couple months prior should overwhelm her caution to the point of revealing her ugly nature to the world to gain surcease of this narcissistic wound by demonstrating an illogical edit of another's post, choosing at every possible point to make the most unlikely edits and assumptions if only to support her own eccentric and salacious interpretation.
But enough about extraneous errata. I started out meaning to address YOU pennylyn, and YOUR post in THIS thread and have let myself get distracted about another matter here, and am going on and on about more things no one cares to read about!
If I have made unfair assumptions, or cast careless aspersions, you must let me know, my dear. I ask your forgiveness and I am deeply sorry for my run on sentence here.
Nov 16, 2017 01:02:41 #
[quote=Pennylynn]Read it again....this time without editing what was written. We all edit as we read, so this is not a disparaging remark about you or your haste to defend the author.
Here is what I gleamed from the post. Her [i]accusers[i] not "abusers" were the pastor's son and her uncle. She did not identify her "abuser." As stated, they said "her father" would not love her, and she waited 40 years and his death, and the only one in her narrative who would not love her if she told, implying her "father." She wait 40 years for "his" death so he could not withdraw his love. Later on she tells how her father, or one of the accusers(?) tried to initiate personal contact in the form of a hug at her mother's funeral. And went on to say that he lives alone, implying that her father is still alive. So, which is it.... did her father die during the past year and she is finally free to tell her story? Or was her father the "abuser"? Or was the entire thing made up in a marijuana induced delusion? You decide.
Sorry, too many years dealing with people who are not candid with their stories of neglect or abuse. There is always a nugget of truth in their stories and a great deal that they make up.[/quote]
Given Singularity's clarification, "As I clearly explained, I waited 40 years for.my FATHER to die before I confronted my RAPIST, his baby brother." I think my understanding of her first statement conforms with her clarification pretty well. And like I said, her first statement does not hold contradictions.
Here is what I gleamed from the post. Her [i]accusers[i] not "abusers" were the pastor's son and her uncle. She did not identify her "abuser." As stated, they said "her father" would not love her, and she waited 40 years and his death, and the only one in her narrative who would not love her if she told, implying her "father." She wait 40 years for "his" death so he could not withdraw his love. Later on she tells how her father, or one of the accusers(?) tried to initiate personal contact in the form of a hug at her mother's funeral. And went on to say that he lives alone, implying that her father is still alive. So, which is it.... did her father die during the past year and she is finally free to tell her story? Or was her father the "abuser"? Or was the entire thing made up in a marijuana induced delusion? You decide.
Sorry, too many years dealing with people who are not candid with their stories of neglect or abuse. There is always a nugget of truth in their stories and a great deal that they make up.[/quote]
Given Singularity's clarification, "As I clearly explained, I waited 40 years for.my FATHER to die before I confronted my RAPIST, his baby brother." I think my understanding of her first statement conforms with her clarification pretty well. And like I said, her first statement does not hold contradictions.
Nov 16, 2017 01:07:01 #
JFlorio
Loc: Seminole Florida
To Pennylynn,
Much of her writings are confusing. I’m sure it’s her self proclaimed Einstein like I.Q. but this mere mortal is to dumb to follow. However, I respect your intelligence and ask, if you could let me know what the hell shes talking about when you figure it out. [quote=Pennylynn]Read it again....this time without editing what was written. We all edit as we read, so this is not a disparaging remark about you or your haste to defend the author.
Here is what I gleamed from the post. Her [i]accusers[i] not "abusers" were the pastor's son and her uncle. She did not identify her "abuser." As stated, they said "her father" would not love her, and she waited 40 years and his death, and the only one in her narrative who would not love her if she told, implying her "father." She wait 40 years for "his" death so he could not withdraw his love. Later on she tells how her father, or one of the accusers(?) tried to initiate personal contact in the form of a hug at her mother's funeral. And went on to say that he lives alone, implying that her father is still alive. So, which is it.... did her father die during the past year and she is finally free to tell her story? Or was her father the "abuser"? Or was the entire thing made up in a marijuana induced delusion? You decide.
Sorry, too many years dealing with people who are not candid with their stories of neglect or abuse. There is always a nugget of truth in their stories and a great deal that they make up.[/quote]
Much of her writings are confusing. I’m sure it’s her self proclaimed Einstein like I.Q. but this mere mortal is to dumb to follow. However, I respect your intelligence and ask, if you could let me know what the hell shes talking about when you figure it out. [quote=Pennylynn]Read it again....this time without editing what was written. We all edit as we read, so this is not a disparaging remark about you or your haste to defend the author.
Here is what I gleamed from the post. Her [i]accusers[i] not "abusers" were the pastor's son and her uncle. She did not identify her "abuser." As stated, they said "her father" would not love her, and she waited 40 years and his death, and the only one in her narrative who would not love her if she told, implying her "father." She wait 40 years for "his" death so he could not withdraw his love. Later on she tells how her father, or one of the accusers(?) tried to initiate personal contact in the form of a hug at her mother's funeral. And went on to say that he lives alone, implying that her father is still alive. So, which is it.... did her father die during the past year and she is finally free to tell her story? Or was her father the "abuser"? Or was the entire thing made up in a marijuana induced delusion? You decide.
Sorry, too many years dealing with people who are not candid with their stories of neglect or abuse. There is always a nugget of truth in their stories and a great deal that they make up.[/quote]
Nov 16, 2017 01:09:42 #
Thanks all for a good example of why young girls don't report sex offenses perpetrated on them.
I don't know what is true and what is not, but at this time I have no reason to doubt you. I hope you can finally get some peace and comfort with what is left of your life.
I don't know what is true and what is not, but at this time I have no reason to doubt you. I hope you can finally get some peace and comfort with what is left of your life.
Nov 16, 2017 01:18:19 #
E wrote:
Thanks all for a good example of why young girls don't report sex offenses perpetrated on them.
I don't know what is true and what is not, but at this time I have no reason to doubt you. I hope you can finally get some peace and comfort with what is left of your life.
I don't know what is true and what is not, but at this time I have no reason to doubt you. I hope you can finally get some peace and comfort with what is left of your life.
With help an encouragement of g*dly women as expressed here, how could there be any doubt.
Spoiler alert: The rest of the story of my 61 years is comparatively jolly!
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