Don G. Dinsdale Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)

OLD But GOOD Ones


Have you ever said something and immediately wished that you
could take it back..
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of
the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him
and said, I think I like playing with men's balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter
asked if we needed any help. I replied, ' No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and
I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
it was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled
something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said No!...
I kept thinking Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have
any clothes with me.'
Then I said, Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident?

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks
and yelled SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An older couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and
a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future,
likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and
asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too,
they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who Needs
a laugh and remember we all say things we don't really mean,
so think before you speak!!!

funguy1949

GmanTerry

Thanks a million, Don. You brightened my day.

Semper Fi

Big dog

Good stuff there. Okay here's a true story.
My boss had gone pheasant hunting and got a few birds. He gave me a couple which I brought over to me brother's house. My young nephew and his friends were there and thought the birds were COOL. A few of the kids called their mothers over to see the pheasants.
Next day I told my boss how all the kids reacted and he smiled. I told him about the mothers coming over. I told him the women didn't think much of the Hen, but they sure loved the Cock.
I got the rest of the day off he laughed so hard.

badbobby Loc: texas

yes it felt good

funguy1949

LIto54-60

I NEEDED THOSE LAUGHS. IT FELT SO GOOD.