Mr Bombastic

Margaret was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertaker's to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.


The undertaker apologizes and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a black suit, but he'd see what he could arrange. The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she managed to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.



She said to the undertaker "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?"

"Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in & he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the undertaker replied.

The wife smiled at the man.

He continued, "After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads."

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

Love it, my friend. You have the same warped sense of humor that I can well relate to.

Tom Salinger

Love those "wait for it" jokes.

A woman was having a routine root canal under anesthesia when her heart stopped. She suddenly was in heaven before God. "What happened?" she asked. "Don't worry, my child," God said, "there was a complication in your surgery but you will be revived. You have another forty-four years, eight months, and two days of life." She was resuscitated and left the Dentist with no ill effects. But she was troubled. "If I am going to live that long," she thought, "I need to start taking better care of myself."

Somewhat overweight, she had lipo-suction. Her facial features would really be more attractive with a tuck here and there, so she had plastic surgery. Finally she decided that if she were blonde, she would really have more zest to her confirmed long life. Leaving the beauty parlor and crossing the street, she was struck and instantly killed by a speeding ambulance. She was suddenly back in heaven before God, and pissed. "God, you lied! You told me to my face that I had another forty-four years, eight months, and two days of life. That was only a month ago." God looked chagrined. "Oy vey, so sorry, child, I did not recognize you."

Mr Bombastic

bggamers Loc: georgia