HELL EXPLAINED BY ANOTHER UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA CHEMISTRY STUDENT

My friends son attends the U of A and sent me this note.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Good point. My Granny kept a loaded shotgun behind her bedroom door until the day she died. I lived with her for 12 years. Never touched the gun (except to go hunting) until it became mine...an Iver/Johnson 20 gauge. It's about 100 years old now. It has a 36" barrels and hold a very tight pattern. Perfect for squirrel hunting, which is what I used it for...and so did my dad...and so did my Granny and Grandaddy.

People don't know what life and death mean anymore. They eat steak and chicken; they postulate and bulls**t; they talk on cell phones and drive their cars with no thought of the awful reality of what it takes to sustain life.

Everyone who thinks the way the originator of this thread thinks should have to butcher, clean and cook their meals for a year or two, and grow their own vegetables. Urban people fall into the trap of becoming so insulated from the nuts and bolts of existence they become dangerous...for all of us.