AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

This is VERY OLD. For those corporation/big business bashers, go about your business and let us have some amusement without your economic nonsense.

NEW SICK LEAVE POLICY-EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

The attendance record of this office is a disgrace to our gracious benefactor who, at your request, has given you your job. Due to your lack of consideration for your job with so fine an institution, as shown by your frequent absenteeism, it has become necessary for us to revise some of our policies. The following changes are in effect as of today:

SICKNESS (no excuse): We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if your were able to go to the doctor, your are able to come to work.

DEATH (other than your own): This is no excuse-there is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone less important than you can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral is held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided your work is complete for the day.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE (for an operation): We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thought that you may need an operation, as we believe as long as you are in our employ, you need all of whatever you have, and you should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.

DEATH (your own): This will be accepted as an excuse, but we shall require two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else to fill your position.

PREGNANCY: In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go to the first aid room when the pains are five minutes apart. If it is a false alarm, you will be docked an hour's pay.

Also, entirely too much time is being spent in the restrooms. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:15 to 8:30, "B" will go from 8:30 to 8:45 and so on. If you are unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes.

The Management :lol: :mrgreen:

alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa

sounds like a plan

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Being retired, AuntiE, requires only that I follow the rules as set forth by the Sgt. Major. She allows for quite a bit of latitude...so long as I cater to her every whim.

I am quite content with the arrangement.

oldroy Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)

That sounds very good but my Sergeant, hasn't been retired long enough to be Sgt. Major, caters to my every whim and expects me to do the same for her. It is a good arrangement with a hard worker who I respect enough to try hard to please.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I understand and agree with your stance there, Oldroy. My
Sgt. Major is such with regard to her status with me. I grant her my love, respect and admiration because she deserves every bit of it. She understands, among other things, my self-deprecating sense of humor.