jwrevagent wrote:
I recognize that some parents and some people in general are simply horrible. But with the young minor woman, I can see the problem-however, not all parents are abusive, and many would step up and help and support the daughter-but are not given that choice. Yet the parents are responsible for anything else the young woman does. They would have to pay for any after care physical or mental that would result. I always told my sons to THINK about consequences-if they impregnated a young lady, to recall that SHE and SHE alone would have the say as to whether or not MY GRANDCHILD lives! I would never try to force anyone to marry, but my sons would have had to support that child. There is much more involved than simply the mother and baby-not fetus-it is a human being with all the genetic stuff already decided-color of skin, eyes, hair, teeth, height, intelligence-all already there. And of course, there are instances where a baby has died already in the womb-that is not an abortion, that is an extraction of a dead human-I am sure there is some fancy medical term for that-or if the mother's life is in peril, as in an ectopic pregnancy, the child would not live anyway. As to some condition that the baby may have, I would be careful there, because that sounds a lot like playing God in determining who should live and who should not-who are you to say that this child would not have a good quality of life? If you can define "quality of life". you are far ahead of me for sure. I knew a woman who had a child who had multiple problems mentally and physically. She told me that her doctor insisted she remain in bed for the duration of her pregnancy, though she thought if that is the extreme measure she would have to do in order to save the baby, she would rather let nature take it's course, as to whether or not the baby was born-she was a firm believer in letting God make those decisions. But her husband insisted she follow the doctor's orders, and she had this child, loved her, and provided for her-husband moved to another bedroom soon after because he did not want another "horribly damaged child" which he presumed was her fault. I suspect she is correct and probably should have perhaps slowed down a bit, but the total bed rest for no reason other than the baby was deemed to be "in trouble" from the first trimester, was a bit much. The child, though, as damaged as she was, and I do not know if she is still alive, was a beautiful little girl whom I had the pleasure to babysit for a time. She could do nothing for herself at age 11-I had to feed her, dress her, change her diapers, and she was nearly as tall as I, but precious nonetheless. What would you do in that instance? Abortion was not an option. I am aware that many people have horrible decisions like this to make every day. I am not one to work to over turn R vs W, but rather to lessen the perceived need for abortion. Abortions will happen no matter what-they did before they were legal-but I don't want them used as birth control.
I recognize that some parents and some people in g... (
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No one wants abortion used as birth control, but that is a moot point anyway. I have never met any pregnant woman who didn't agonize over her options. She may have a lot of competing options, but sometimes none of those options are good.
Let me emphasize that *incompatible with life* is a diagnosis of a failure of gestation, the infant cannot live outside of the womb. Quality of life is a whole other thing.
Thirty three years ago, my sister went into labor when she was between 5 - 6 months pregnant. She was in her mid-30's, married, living on a farm in a rural area, and so excited to be having her first child... And then, far too early, she went into labor, her water broke, and my niece was delivered in a Flight For Life helicopter. She weighed little more than a pound. No one was certain that the Peanut would survive.
Peanut lived although she had the birth injury of Cerebral Palsy. She is profoundly disabled, and spent most of a year in NICU and PICU. My sister couldn't breastfeed her little girl. My sister didn't sit back waiting for her baby to come home. She learned how to do all the things she would have to do for the Peanut.
My niece, who has been in state programs since she was born has cost the State millions of dollars, and she is still in the custody of the State. My sister is in her 60's, and too broken to take care of her daughter, although she cared for her Peanut for most of her life. Peanut is a sweet 33 year old woman who cannot talk, eat, taste ice cream, change herself, comb or brush her own hair, or get married and have her own children. Instead, Peanut's life revolves around nurses, doctors, occupational therapy, group activities that she can't participate in... it's heartbreaking, but no one would have her any other way. She has these amazing blue eyes and black curly hair (like mine), and her smile lights up the night sky.
I will be waiting for someone who *knows* scripture and the right verse to pass judgment on my sister, and probably my family, too.
There are no easy answers, but no one has a right to judge anyone. No one but my sister has walked in her shoes. If there is one thing to take from all of this, is that an abortion is NEVER easy thing to consider. I don't understand why anti-choicers think they have a right to judge the intimate and personal decision about a woman's life. What my sister went through is no one's business but hers.