oldroy Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)

I don't know if any of these is true and wonder if they belong here but here they are. Of course, nearly everybody here knows which party I think these people v**ed for if they v**ed.




The 2013 Darwin Awards:


8th Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet
of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer
grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when
he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection
from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom,
when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the
beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could
not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost
an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was k**led as he fell through the ceiling
of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when
the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands
free, rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.


Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was k**led as he won a bet with friends
who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into
his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the
front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on
robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed
officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the
would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots
from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire,
and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber
was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics.
Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases.
The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics
identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

2nd Place HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at
2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window
to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the
window was closed.

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them
said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in
the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least
10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon
arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had
brought a bungee rope.
Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that
a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around
Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted
40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.
He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued
by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS....
Zookeeper: Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated
elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries,
figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.

The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked
Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the
elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves...
'S**t happens.'

It always seems important to thank these people
for removing themselves from the gene pool.

alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa

the winner and #5 didn't happen in 2013 unless they decided to do a repeat

oldroy Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)

I don't remember that one but then anything works when i***ts are concerned and that man certainly was one of those.

alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa

what I was getting at is I heard about them three or four years ago but there may have been another

oldroy Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)

These aren't all the same ones I read last year in the same story.

Miss Brandi

:lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
The 'winner' is definitely my favorite!!

grey gringo Loc: South Texas

And they were all progressive liberal democrats!!

permafrost Loc: Minnesota

LOL....#3 was my fav until I read the winner....