pet peeves
Oct 23, 2015 14:00:24 #
bills
Have you noticed that they are putting advertisements in with your statements now?Like receiving bills isn't bad enough,they have to stuff junk mail in with them.
I get back at them,I put garbage in with my check when I mail it.Coffee grinds,banama peels etc.I write--could you dispose of this for me?Thank you.
Fabric softener
My wife uses fabric softener.I never knew what that stuff was for.Then I noticed when women approached me--Sniff_
Married-and just walk on off.This is how women mark their territory.You can take off the ring,but you cant get that fresh April scent out of your clothes !!
The word cripes
My wife is from the Midwest.very nice folks there,very wholesome.They use words like "cripes, for cripes sake who could that be?,Jesus cripes."The son of Gosh,of the church of the Holey Moley?I'm not making fun of them.Ypu think I want to burn in Heck???
Morning differences
Men and women are very different in the morning.Men wake up aroused,we cant help it.We wake up and we want you women.But you women are thinking"How could he possibly want me the way I look in the morning"??
Its because we cant see you dear.we have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Pregnancy
Its kinda weird when pregnant women feel the baby kicking.They say "Oh my God,hes kicking,do you want to feel??I always feel awkward reaching there.Come on.its weird to ask someone to feel your stomach.I don't say "Oh my god give me your hand it wont be long now",when I have gas.
Grandmas
My grandma had a bumper sticker on her car that said"Sexy senior citizen".I didn't like to think of my grandma that way.Guess grandmas entered wet shawl contests.made me wonder where she got the dollar she used to give me for my birthday.
Life cycle
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.Life is tough,it takes up a lot of your time And what do you get at the end of it?--DEAD--Is that a bonus?
I think the life cycle is backward.You should die first(just get that out of the way).Then you live in an old folks home
until you get kicked out,get a gold watch and have to go to work'
You work forty years until you are young enough to retire.
You do drugs ,alcohol,party and then get ready for high school.Then you go to grade school and become a little kid.You play a lot and have no responsibilities.You become a baby,you return to the womb and spend the last nine years of your life as an orgasm!!
Award shows
Can you believe how many award shows there are?There are awards for commercials.The Clio awards,A whole program just full of commercials
I just taped the whole thing.then I fast forwarded it all.
that will show them.!!
Phone polls
You know those shows where people pkone in and v**e on different issues?Did you ever notice that about 40 percent of the comments are "I don't really know"?It costs them about 90 cents to call up and say "Idont know"????
My wife said "Honey I feel strongly about this,hand me the
phone." She dials ,says "I don't know",and hangs up looking proud.I think you should stand up For what you aren't sure about.Heard about this one guy who called up a phone sex girl ,cost him 2dollars and 95 cents,said "I'm not in the mood"
Answering machines
Did you ever hear one of those corny positive messages on someones answering machine?Like--"Its a great day out and I'm out enjoying it right now.Hope you are too.The thought of the day is share the love".--I answer "Uh yeah this is the uh VD clinic calling.Speaking of positive your test is back.you should stop sharing the love"!!!
Have you noticed that they are putting advertisements in with your statements now?Like receiving bills isn't bad enough,they have to stuff junk mail in with them.
I get back at them,I put garbage in with my check when I mail it.Coffee grinds,banama peels etc.I write--could you dispose of this for me?Thank you.
Fabric softener
My wife uses fabric softener.I never knew what that stuff was for.Then I noticed when women approached me--Sniff_
Married-and just walk on off.This is how women mark their territory.You can take off the ring,but you cant get that fresh April scent out of your clothes !!
The word cripes
My wife is from the Midwest.very nice folks there,very wholesome.They use words like "cripes, for cripes sake who could that be?,Jesus cripes."The son of Gosh,of the church of the Holey Moley?I'm not making fun of them.Ypu think I want to burn in Heck???
Morning differences
Men and women are very different in the morning.Men wake up aroused,we cant help it.We wake up and we want you women.But you women are thinking"How could he possibly want me the way I look in the morning"??
Its because we cant see you dear.we have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Pregnancy
Its kinda weird when pregnant women feel the baby kicking.They say "Oh my God,hes kicking,do you want to feel??I always feel awkward reaching there.Come on.its weird to ask someone to feel your stomach.I don't say "Oh my god give me your hand it wont be long now",when I have gas.
Grandmas
My grandma had a bumper sticker on her car that said"Sexy senior citizen".I didn't like to think of my grandma that way.Guess grandmas entered wet shawl contests.made me wonder where she got the dollar she used to give me for my birthday.
Life cycle
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.Life is tough,it takes up a lot of your time And what do you get at the end of it?--DEAD--Is that a bonus?
I think the life cycle is backward.You should die first(just get that out of the way).Then you live in an old folks home
until you get kicked out,get a gold watch and have to go to work'
You work forty years until you are young enough to retire.
You do drugs ,alcohol,party and then get ready for high school.Then you go to grade school and become a little kid.You play a lot and have no responsibilities.You become a baby,you return to the womb and spend the last nine years of your life as an orgasm!!
Award shows
Can you believe how many award shows there are?There are awards for commercials.The Clio awards,A whole program just full of commercials
I just taped the whole thing.then I fast forwarded it all.
that will show them.!!
Phone polls
You know those shows where people pkone in and v**e on different issues?Did you ever notice that about 40 percent of the comments are "I don't really know"?It costs them about 90 cents to call up and say "Idont know"????
My wife said "Honey I feel strongly about this,hand me the
phone." She dials ,says "I don't know",and hangs up looking proud.I think you should stand up For what you aren't sure about.Heard about this one guy who called up a phone sex girl ,cost him 2dollars and 95 cents,said "I'm not in the mood"
Answering machines
Did you ever hear one of those corny positive messages on someones answering machine?Like--"Its a great day out and I'm out enjoying it right now.Hope you are too.The thought of the day is share the love".--I answer "Uh yeah this is the uh VD clinic calling.Speaking of positive your test is back.you should stop sharing the love"!!!
Oct 23, 2015 14:11:57 #
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: You are just too much bb. :-) :thumbup:
Oct 23, 2015 14:32:52 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
BB, I am stunned...knowing of all the knowledge you possess. :shock: :lol: You truly are the Yoda of OPP. :thumbup:
Oct 23, 2015 17:10:02 #
PoppaGringo wrote:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: You are just too much bb. :-) :thumbup:
why are you guys kissin up??? :roll: :roll:
Oct 23, 2015 17:11:52 #
quote=slatten49]BB, I am stunned...knowing of all the knowledge you possess. :shock: :lol: You truly are the Yoda of OPP. :thumbup:[/quote]
\
why are you guys kissin up??
or wait a minute
maybe you are dissin me??
\
why are you guys kissin up??
or wait a minute
maybe you are dissin me??
Oct 23, 2015 18:23:19 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
badbobby wrote:
quote=slatten49]BB, I am stunned...knowing of all the knowledge you possess. :shock: :lol: You truly are the Yoda of OPP. :thumbup:
\
why are you guys kissin up??
or wait a minute
maybe you are dissin me??[/quote]
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Respect for our elder, mayhaps :?: :thumbup: :wink: :-D
Oct 23, 2015 19:30:53 #
slatten49 wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Respect for our elder, mayhaps :?: :thumbup: :wink: :-D
Respect for our elder, mayhaps :?: :thumbup: :wink: :-D
well at least you two are true friends
the only responders to my post :lol: :lol:
Oct 23, 2015 19:39:32 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
badbobby wrote:
well at least you two are true friends
the only responders to my post :lol: :lol:
the only responders to my post :lol: :lol:
Surprising, because this post deserves better. EXCELLENT :!: One would assume a Marine wrote/entered such wisdom. :lol:
Oct 23, 2015 20:55:44 #
badbobby wrote:
well at least you two are true friends
the only responders to my post :lol: :lol:
the only responders to my post :lol: :lol:
It took me a while to stop laughing to respond.
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: on your thread.
Oct 23, 2015 20:58:54 #
AuntiE wrote:
It took me a while to stop laughing to respond.
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: on your thread.
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: on your thread.
thank you Auntie
Oct 23, 2015 21:00:19 #
slatten49 wrote:
Surprising, because this post deserves better. EXCELLENT :!: One would assume a Marine wrote/entered such wisdom. :lol:
if you are tryin to make me feel better
you did
tx
Oct 23, 2015 21:47:10 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
badbobby wrote:
if you are tryin to make me feel better
you did
tx
you did
tx
May the force be with you, BB. :wink: 8-)
Oct 23, 2015 22:11:42 #
badbobby wrote:
thank you Auntie
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Me too BB. You had me crackin up.
Oct 23, 2015 23:21:43 #
Rufus wrote:
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Me too BB. You had me crackin up.
always good to see you Ruf tx
Oct 24, 2015 00:15:10 #
slatten49 wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Respect for our elder, mayhaps :?: :thumbup: :wink: :-D
Respect for our elder, mayhaps :?: :thumbup: :wink: :-D
More like compassion.
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