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Sleeping in Church
Oct 15, 2015 14:06:17   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
bible

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th
son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

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Oct 15, 2015 14:09:03   #
CowboyMilt
 
LMAO

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Oct 15, 2015 14:12:02   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
CowboyMilt wrote:
LMAO


:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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Oct 15, 2015 14:22:55   #
bahmer
 
Elwood wrote:
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
bible

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th
son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the mi... (show quote)




:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Oct 15, 2015 14:38:19   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
I know of several members in the local congregation that will appreciate this story...it strikes close to home for them :!: :wink: :lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup: :lol:

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Oct 15, 2015 14:57:00   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
slatten49 wrote:
I know of several members in the local congregation that will appreciate this story...it strikes close to home for them :!: :wink: :lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup: :lol:


:lol: :lol:

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Oct 15, 2015 15:54:55   #
Parrothead Loc: In front of my laptop
 
Oh boy!!!!!! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Reply
 
 
Oct 15, 2015 15:56:59   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Parrothead wrote:
Oh boy!!!!!! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:


:lol: :lol:

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Oct 16, 2015 10:24:12   #
BearK Loc: TN
 
I've heard that joke before, but I laughed just as hard this time.

Thanks, El, for a morning laugh.

Reply
Oct 16, 2015 11:18:00   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
BearK wrote:
I've heard that joke before, but I laughed just as hard this time.

Thanks, El, for a morning laugh.


My pleasure Bear. :-D

Reply
Oct 16, 2015 15:15:26   #
rocketride
 
Elwood wrote:
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
bible

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th
son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the mi... (show quote)


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Reply
 
 
Oct 16, 2015 17:51:10   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Elwood wrote:
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
bible

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th
son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the mi... (show quote)



absolutely hillarious Elwood
you may take your seat at the head of the class :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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Oct 16, 2015 18:29:18   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
badbobby wrote:
absolutely hillarious Elwood
you may take your seat at the head of the class :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


Thank you kindly. :lol: :lol:

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