rumitoid

I know that most of you, probably nine out of ten, do not need to read this, having secured a good level of emotional sobriety during your life. This is for that one of you.

All we can get from criticism is useful information, either about ourselves or the other person. No harm, no foul. If what another says is true in whole or in part, we get an opportunity to grow or improve. If we openly examine what was said through non-judgmental awareness and see no basis in reality, we still learn a little something about ourselves but more about them. Depending on the closeness, it would be something for a friendly talk. (Under the heading of, perhaps, "you spot it, you got it.")

The t***h of what they say can usually be found in how hurt, angry, or defensive we get. Something is there that needs to be explored, if we care about ourselves and want to change for the better. This is a great opportunity! But if their words actually touched on some serious fault or defect, the psyche will look to portray our intense emotional reaction as simply righteous indignation at being falsely judged or wrongly betrayed. It is under this most, with a good deal of courage, discover some old and deep wound unhealed.

A good friend who seemed to know me better than I knew myself, saw how hyper-sensitive I was with any "ill words." She knew this meant there were a lot of issues I had avoided and not attended to at ripe age of forty. With remarkable tenderness and frankness she told me I was a total mess, really screwed up, and if I truly wanted some measure of real freedom and joy in my life, I needed to drop my defenses. She gave this simple sentence to practice under any and all circumstances where I felt belittled or attacked: "Thank for sharing PERIOD," and smile. It was enormously difficult and took quite a while (and, stating the obvious, I am still a work in progress), yet eventually I began to be at ease with myself and others, and only a partial mess.

Something else to consider: Ten principles

1. Never think or speak negatively about yourself; that puts you in disagreement with God.

2. Meditate on your God-given strengths and learn to encourage yourself, for much of the time nobody else will.

3. Don’t compare yourself to anybody else. You’re unique, one of a kind, an original. So don’t settle for being a copy.

4. Focus on your potential, not your limitations. Remember, God lives in you!

5. Find what you like to do, do well, and strive to do it with excellence.

6. Have the courage to be different. Be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser (in the perjorative sense, adjusting who you are for acceptance by another).

7. Learn to handle criticism. Let it develop you instead of discourage you.

8. Determine your own worth instead of letting others do it for you. They’ll short-change you!

9. Keep your character defects and shortcomings in perspective, you’re still a work in progress.

10. Focus daily on your greatest source of confidence, the God Who lives in you!

- Niki Turner -

alabuck Loc: Tennessee

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Well said ! Good words to live by. Thank you for sharing.

rumitoid

Ty very much.

Zeno Loc: Omaha NE

Those are some excellent points to live by. We should strive to be an intelligent and mature person, and God is there to help us. Thank you for sharing.