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The Italian Vacation
Nov 19, 2023 11:44:43   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
The Italian Vacation

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport. “Thank you honey,” she says, “Is there anything I can bring back for you?” He laughs, and says, “An Italian girl!” When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, “How was the trip?” “Very good,” she replies. “And what happened to my present?” “Which present?” she asks. “The one I asked for - an Italian girl!” “Oh, that. I did what I could. We’ll just have to wait 9 months to see if it’s a girl.”

https://www.ba-bamail.com/jokes/jokes-about-men/?jokeid=1312

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Nov 19, 2023 17:19:49   #
2quick4u Loc: Somewhere in central Tx...
 
Don't know if I posted this before..but it always makes me laff....

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would you want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking United," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"United", exclaimed the hairdresser? "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant." "Boy, good luck on this trip of yours. You're going to need it."

--------------------------------------

A month later, the woman again came in to get her hair styled.

The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of United's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.

The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city... They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me... Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who f*cked up your hair?

Reply
Nov 19, 2023 17:48:54   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
2quick4u wrote:
Don't know if I posted this before..but it always makes me laff....

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would you want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking United," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"United", exclaimed the hairdresser? "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant." "Boy, good luck on this trip of yours. You're going to need it."

--------------------------------------

A month later, the woman again came in to get her hair styled.

The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of United's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.

The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city... They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me... Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who f*cked up your hair?
Don't know if I posted this before..but it always ... (show quote)



Reply
 
 
Nov 19, 2023 21:06:48   #
2quick4u Loc: Somewhere in central Tx...
 
I've got another one I prob already posted (but def bears repeating about now...) which has since been updated....

Historically blue whales have always produced the biggest known babies on our planet..and this fact was never legitimately questioned. Starting on the evening of 11/08/2016, at just little bit past 10pm (cst), that distinction has now been repeatably and irrefutably proven false and/or undeserved. The indisputable title (of producing the worlds biggest babies) now rightfully belongs to the dimocrat party..but another smaller and very vocal group-the never trumpers (primarily made up of rhino conservatives)-is certainly deserving of 'honorable mentions' too..b/c they are definitely attempting to give the dims 'a run for their money'.

Update: Real Scientists and unbiased researchers have now jointly determined that this sudden increase in the production of bigger babies is directly attributable to another recently discovered debilitating affliction.. which has been officially named Trump Derangement Syndrome (or TDS for short).

Reply
Nov 19, 2023 21:35:26   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
2quick4u wrote:
I've got another one I prob already posted (but def bears repeating about now...) which has since been updated....

Historically blue whales have always produced the biggest known babies on our planet..and this fact was never legitimately questioned. Starting on the evening of 11/08/2016, at just little bit past 10pm (cst), that distinction has now been repeatably and irrefutably proven false and/or undeserved. The indisputable title (of producing the worlds biggest babies) now rightfully belongs to the dimocrat party..but another smaller and very vocal group-the never trumpers (primarily made up of rhino conservatives)-is certainly deserving of 'honorable mentions' too..b/c they are definitely attempting to give the dims 'a run for their money'.

Update: Real Scientists and unbiased researchers have now jointly determined that this sudden increase in the production of bigger babies is directly attributable to another recently discovered debilitating affliction.. which has been officially named Trump Derangement Syndrome (or TDS for short).
I've got another one I prob already posted (but de... (show quote)


MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....MAGA....



Reply
Nov 20, 2023 21:55:28   #
elledee
 
2quick4u wrote:
Don't know if I posted this before..but it always makes me laff....

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would you want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking United," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"United", exclaimed the hairdresser? "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant." "Boy, good luck on this trip of yours. You're going to need it."

--------------------------------------

A month later, the woman again came in to get her hair styled.

The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of United's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.

The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city... They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me... Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who f*cked up your hair?
Don't know if I posted this before..but it always ... (show quote)


Now thats a good joke LMFAO!!!!!

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