They not only walk among us - they v**e
Nov 24, 2014 08:26:43 #
IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A R**T!
Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I'm STILL laughing!!
I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!
STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'
Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'
He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'
Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'
He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'
Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back
The manager approaches me and says,
'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'
Me: 'It's onlyseven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'
At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.
A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.
Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy f**e a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's f**e!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he f**e a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'
Security Guard walks over to me and......
Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some f**e bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'
At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's f**e.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look f**e to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'
The security guard and I both look at him like he's an i***t and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an i***t.
So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.
Just think... those two are of the age to be v****g!!!
NOW do you understand why and how Obama got a 2nd term?
DCCM (SW)
US NAVY Retired
Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I'm STILL laughing!!
I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!
STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'
Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'
He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'
Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'
He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'
Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back
The manager approaches me and says,
'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'
Me: 'It's onlyseven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'
At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.
A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.
Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy f**e a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's f**e!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he f**e a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'
Security Guard walks over to me and......
Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some f**e bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'
At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's f**e.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look f**e to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'
The security guard and I both look at him like he's an i***t and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an i***t.
So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.
Just think... those two are of the age to be v****g!!!
NOW do you understand why and how Obama got a 2nd term?
DCCM (SW)
US NAVY Retired
Nov 24, 2014 08:43:35 #
BearK wrote:
b IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A R**T! /b b... (show quote)
Is that a true story? That is funny. Maybe I'll go there and tell them I have 6 bits and 30 cents american, just for a laugh!
YO QUIERO TACO BELL
Nov 24, 2014 08:55:27 #
Very good story, back in the day about '60 I had received 3 $2 bills for Graduating high school & I foolishly carried them in my wallet for conversation pieces. Got wallet stolen & recovered it & the $2 bills were still there...guess even then we had "dumbies" walkin' around...
Nov 24, 2014 09:00:30 #
just care wrote:
Is that a true story? That is funny. Maybe I'll go there and tell them I have 6 bits and 30 cents american, just for a laugh!
YO QUIERO TACO BELL
YO QUIERO TACO BELL
I don't know if that's fact, but I had a young female clerk at a convenience refuse a Susan Anthony dollar, because as she said, "Dollars only come in paper."
Nov 24, 2014 09:01:56 #
Nov 24, 2014 09:12:02 #
Thorgo wrote:
I got Silver Certificates, wonder what they would do.
Probably call the police - 'these aren't real' would be their sad reply, when they are collectors items.
Nov 24, 2014 09:14:22 #
Trooper745 wrote:
I don't know if that's fact, but I had a young female clerk at a convenience refuse a Susan Anthony dollar, because as she said, "Dollars only come in paper."
Would you be tempted to say 'the new math' and 'common core' has succeeded doing a beautiful job of producing i***ts :!: :!: :!: :!:
OH, but I bet they could tell you things about sex to make your eyes roll :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Nov 24, 2014 10:04:08 #
BearK wrote:
Would you be tempted to say 'the new math' and 'common core' has succeeded doing a beautiful job of producing i***ts :!: :!: :!: :!:
OH, but I bet they could tell you things about sex to make your eyes roll :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
OH, but I bet they could tell you things about sex to make your eyes roll :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Saw a news report on the internet a few days ago, .... seems that one school has decided that they need to teach fifth graders how to insert a rectal condom.
Nov 24, 2014 10:21:33 #
Thorgo wrote:
I got Silver Certificates, wonder what they would do.
I live in california where the official currency is the peso. So all I can say. Is no comprende! LOL
Nov 24, 2014 11:22:46 #
Trooper745 wrote:
Saw a news report on the internet a few days ago, .... seems that one school has decided that they need to teach fifth graders how to insert a rectal condom.
Saw an item a while back, where they are teaching THIRD GRADERS all the necessary words connected to sexual activity. Why are they doing this! It goes hand in glove with dumbing them down, teach them to be stupid, but teach them distractions so they won't notice they are all becoming serfs to the powers that be.
Nov 24, 2014 16:34:32 #
Zeno
Loc: Omaha NE
Dear BearK:I read again and again how our schools teach politically correct history,and this is solid proof of that.This is a highly funny, but yet sad story of dumbos who are going to hassle you because they think they know the history of currency.Still, ,I am happy that you finally got your chow.
Nov 27, 2014 01:20:45 #
just care wrote:
Is that a true story? That is funny. Maybe I'll go there and tell them I have 6 bits and 30 cents american, just for a laugh!
YO QUIERO TACO BELL
YO QUIERO TACO BELL
If you really want to have some fun, get around 10 new 1 dollar bills and cut about 3 same size blank pieces of paper and mix them in the 10 dollar stack. Purchase some thing for 6 or 7 dollars and pay with the stack of bills counting them while placing them on the counter, while counting low to yourself so it can be heard ----one, two, this didn't take, three, four, this didn't take and so on. See how long you are there without the manager or security coming out.
Nov 27, 2014 06:13:01 #
Al-ien wrote:
If you really want to have some fun, get around 10 new 1 dollar bills and cut about 3 same size blank pieces of paper and mix them in the 10 dollar stack. Purchase some thing for 6 or 7 dollars and pay with the stack of bills counting them while placing them on the counter, while counting low to yourself so it can be heard ----one, two, this didn't take, three, four, this didn't take and so on. See how long you are there without the manager or security coming out.
How to have fun after you retire :thumbup: :thumbup:
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