slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'...but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going? :hunf:

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why are you in IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? :shock:

DamnYANKEE

All good common sense questions . Don't look for Liberals to understand . Nice post BTW :D

Trooper745 Loc: Carolina

Now you've ruined my day, .... it'll take hours to get those questions out of my mind. I had a whole other set of questions I was already working on:

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

:shock: Now, you've ruined my day! :lol: Your list is at least as good as mine....maybe better. :oops:

Thanks. :wink:

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

I've always wondered how there could be more than one singularity. What is the plural of singularity anyway? There are monopoles, North and South poles and other types of poles, but what if there were no poles at all? Would Poland have to change it's name?

I try not to think too long about these types of questions, even if the answers are completely oblivious. What is oblivious to one, may not be so oblivious to another, obliviously. Hmm, maybe that's supposed to be obvious instead - naw obliviously not.

the waker Loc: 11th freest nation

That's good stuff, my head will be spinning all day.

Rufus Loc: Deep South

:thumbup: Dang. I thought I had problems. I only worry about the little things like Iran acquiring nuclear weapons, China's cyber net attacks, Muslims who want to k**l us, a possible EMP attack, a president who h**es America, Christians and Jews, a federal government that refuses to abide by our Constitution, black on white crime, an open border, a failed economy, a high unemployment rate, socialism throughout our government and education system, biological and chemical attacks, ebola, my ex-wife, death and especially public speaking. You've got it rough brother. I will pray for you. You may consider taking up alcohol and prescription drugs and just learning to relax.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Thank you for understanding the stress I live with. :wink:

Rufus Loc: Deep South

:lol: :lol: :lol: Bless you my friend. Of course I was only kidding about the drugs and alcohol.

Ve'hoe

Why are people on OPP,,, obsessed and disappointed because others will not change their political beliefs and compromise their morals, when the other side has no intention of every doing so in the first place???

Strange is the person who comes here demanding that others compromise, yet refuses to do so themselves????

Rufus Loc: Deep South

Evidently you responded to the wrong post. Your statements are completely irrelevant to anything that has been said here.

Ve'hoe

No,,, they are not,,, but regardless, they were not posted to you... so if you dont know or care.... just ignore them....

Cm4tablyNum Loc: Nastyville

If it took a hen and a half, a day and a half to lay an egg and a half .

,,,how long would it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg, to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickel?

Cm4tablyNum Loc: Nastyville

If it took a hen and a half, a day and a half to lay an egg and a half .

,,,how long would it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg, to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickel?

Rufus Loc: Deep South

If you are just going to post randomly out into space you may consider praying. At least then you may have a chance for some benefit.