Making a short fishing story long
Nov 16, 2014 09:57:11 #
Anyway. to make a short story long, I digress:
It was a beautiful day, cool yet the sun was shining. The moon was full the previous night and I knew there was a fishing tournament in the next town.
The lake there was known for spawning huge bass. I decided to take a day off, rent a boat and some tackle so I could take my manly catch home to my ever grateful wife, who would dutifully clean and prepare it for dinner.. You see. I am the great white fisherman (extraordinaire) .
I parked my car beside the little tackle shop (think of the movie grumpy old men) went inside and the black proprietor gladly outfitted me for the day. I asked about a boat to fish from and he directed me down to the docs where he promised many options were available. I did notice many vehicles parked in the adjacent lot and a steady stream of folks carrying their fishing gear down the trail with grins upon their faces. I joined them.
Once near the water I noticed three docs advertising guided (or not) fishing trips... I veered to the left one. (dumb move going to the left side ) Tied to the pier was a old wooden, steam powered paddle wheel boat, about a hundred feet long, not one life boat or captain, with a sign on the pier beside it reading:
FREE FISHING TRIPS (paid for by your local socialist party) - we have free cane poles if needed. If you do not catch fish, let us know and we will provide food stamps, so you can stop by the grocery store and buy some mackerel to take home - and we will offer free cell phones, cheap whiskey and girls. We also feature FREE medical care for you while on the lake.
I can tell you now; that that pier was full of people, all just climbing about, shouting and one guest had totally misunderstood the meaning of "poop deck" . The amount of free-board was rapidly decreasing and the craft was listing to port. The smell of grass was whiffing from the stern to the bow. I shook my head, backed away and went to the next dock.
Lined up on the second was a row of john boats. Some had motors, others only had one oar or two. None had life jackets that I could see. There was a couple of older men at a table which held a small sign which read: "Libertarian Lighters." I stopped to chat. Nice chaps; they told me their boats were reasonably priced, as a bare boat rental. That meant I had to run the boat myself, find the fishing spot and provide my own safety gear. Since I did not come here to row a boat, or hunt out a fishing spot on a lake which I had never fished, I decided to pass on this and go to the third and final option instead of giving up and just fishing from the bank.
The third boat kind of scared me at first. Tied alongside was a fifty plus foot, deluxe house boat. There were many people milling about the deck, many had champagne glasses (or chilled beer steins) in hand and so many pretty girls needing conversation. A row of men in pressed white uniforms were lined up and helping folks aboard and preparing their fishing gear.
The little office on the dock read: GREAT FISHING ABOARD THE REPUBLIC - EVERYBODY WELCOME - Catch guaranteed. Fish cleaned and frozen for your trip home. Never ending buffet table with the latest seafood cooked five different ways by master chef's. No tipping allowed. MC-VISA accepted.
I handed over my card.....
And the moral of this story is?
It was a beautiful day, cool yet the sun was shining. The moon was full the previous night and I knew there was a fishing tournament in the next town.
The lake there was known for spawning huge bass. I decided to take a day off, rent a boat and some tackle so I could take my manly catch home to my ever grateful wife, who would dutifully clean and prepare it for dinner.. You see. I am the great white fisherman (extraordinaire) .
I parked my car beside the little tackle shop (think of the movie grumpy old men) went inside and the black proprietor gladly outfitted me for the day. I asked about a boat to fish from and he directed me down to the docs where he promised many options were available. I did notice many vehicles parked in the adjacent lot and a steady stream of folks carrying their fishing gear down the trail with grins upon their faces. I joined them.
Once near the water I noticed three docs advertising guided (or not) fishing trips... I veered to the left one. (dumb move going to the left side ) Tied to the pier was a old wooden, steam powered paddle wheel boat, about a hundred feet long, not one life boat or captain, with a sign on the pier beside it reading:
FREE FISHING TRIPS (paid for by your local socialist party) - we have free cane poles if needed. If you do not catch fish, let us know and we will provide food stamps, so you can stop by the grocery store and buy some mackerel to take home - and we will offer free cell phones, cheap whiskey and girls. We also feature FREE medical care for you while on the lake.
I can tell you now; that that pier was full of people, all just climbing about, shouting and one guest had totally misunderstood the meaning of "poop deck" . The amount of free-board was rapidly decreasing and the craft was listing to port. The smell of grass was whiffing from the stern to the bow. I shook my head, backed away and went to the next dock.
Lined up on the second was a row of john boats. Some had motors, others only had one oar or two. None had life jackets that I could see. There was a couple of older men at a table which held a small sign which read: "Libertarian Lighters." I stopped to chat. Nice chaps; they told me their boats were reasonably priced, as a bare boat rental. That meant I had to run the boat myself, find the fishing spot and provide my own safety gear. Since I did not come here to row a boat, or hunt out a fishing spot on a lake which I had never fished, I decided to pass on this and go to the third and final option instead of giving up and just fishing from the bank.
The third boat kind of scared me at first. Tied alongside was a fifty plus foot, deluxe house boat. There were many people milling about the deck, many had champagne glasses (or chilled beer steins) in hand and so many pretty girls needing conversation. A row of men in pressed white uniforms were lined up and helping folks aboard and preparing their fishing gear.
The little office on the dock read: GREAT FISHING ABOARD THE REPUBLIC - EVERYBODY WELCOME - Catch guaranteed. Fish cleaned and frozen for your trip home. Never ending buffet table with the latest seafood cooked five different ways by master chef's. No tipping allowed. MC-VISA accepted.
I handed over my card.....
And the moral of this story is?
Nov 17, 2014 12:32:57 #
DAMN,IM sorry,I cant figure out the moral to the story,though,I do like the last boat,with all the broads..but,it looks like a good time was had by all.......
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