What did you do…
Nov 17, 2022 12:50:05 #
Three people die; a doctor, school teacher, and the head of a large insurance company.
When met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the doctor, "what did you do on Earth?"
The doctor replied, "I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free."
St. Peter told the Doctor, "You may go in."
St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, "I taught educationally challenged children."
St. Peter then told her "You may go in."
St. Peter asked the third man, "What did you do?"
The man raised his head and replied, "I ran a large insurance company."
"You may go in..." said St. Peter. The man happily walks forward when St. Peter adds: ”for 3 days."
https://www.ba-bamail.com/jokes/heaven-and-hell-jokes/?jokeid=1558
When met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the doctor, "what did you do on Earth?"
The doctor replied, "I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free."
St. Peter told the Doctor, "You may go in."
St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, "I taught educationally challenged children."
St. Peter then told her "You may go in."
St. Peter asked the third man, "What did you do?"
The man raised his head and replied, "I ran a large insurance company."
"You may go in..." said St. Peter. The man happily walks forward when St. Peter adds: ”for 3 days."
https://www.ba-bamail.com/jokes/heaven-and-hell-jokes/?jokeid=1558
Nov 17, 2022 14:25:56 #
Nov 17, 2022 14:55:50 #
AuntiE wrote:
Three people die; a doctor, school teacher, and th... (show quote)
https://upjoke.com/hell-jokes
" The Devil sat at the gates of hell... (Story Joke)
An old man suddenly arrived in a burst of flames, looking confused and lost. The Devil looked at his paperwork, and frowned. He was unable to find this old man’s data file.
“This can’t be right,” the old man grumbled, looking at the Devil, “I’ve been a good man my whole life.”
The Devil nodded apologetically, most people said this when they arrived at Hell.
“Why don’t you start with how you died and we’ll figure it out.” He said
The old man sighed and said:
“Well, I was out with minding my grandchildren, enjoying a fun day out. I don’t get the grandchildren often because my eyesight is starting to fade. But we were having the most wonderful time..
And that’s when everything went crazy!
Out of nowhere, I spotted the largest most grotesque mouse I’ve ever seen moving towards us. It was absolutely enormous!
And that’s when it moved. Straight towards the grandchildren first, limbs outstretched. You don’t know where mice have been, what if it had’ve bitten one of them? Can you imagine if they got rabies on my watch?”
“So what did you do?” The Devil whispered, entranced by the story. He was munching on a box of popcorn.
The old man continued,
“You don’t get how big this mouse was! Radiation it must’ve been. Too many phones these days, that’s what causes it.
I did the only think I could!
I grabbed my walking stick and I cracked it over the head. Now my eye sight isn’t that good anymore, but I whacked it good!
The kids started screaming at this point. You know how they get when you have to k**l an animal.
But I needed to keep going. You see with mice, you need to see their guts to know they’re dead. Otherwise they’ll be back with others.”
“So you k**led it?” The Devil asked. Some of his demigods had come to listen to the story.
The old man nodded,
“By golly I did! Guts and all were splattered for all to see. The kids had lost their mind at this point. Tears everywhere. A crowd had gathered as well, all screaming at the sight.
It was at this point though, that the exertion caught up with me. I felt my heart give way. I must have suffered a heart attack. Next thing I know, I’m here.”
“Well,” the Devil said, concerned, “This doesn’t seem to add up. Let me just give Heaven a call and we’ll try and see what’s going on here.
The Devil pulled up a phone from thin air and dialled a number.
“Hey Jesus bro,” the Devil said, “I think I’ve got one of yours here. His story checks out. Must have been a mix up.”
The Devil nodded as a voice on the phone spoke back to him. He gave the old man a silent celebratory thumbs up as the voice continued.
The Devil covered the phone speaker with his hand, turned to the old man and said,
“You’re all good, they just want to know where you were when you died.”
The old man nodded,
“Oh that’s easy, I was at Disneyland.” "
Nov 17, 2022 15:17:37 #
AuntiE wrote:
Three people die; a doctor, school teacher, and th... (show quote)
Very good, thank you for posting this. I just subscribed to it and will look forward to it. Her'z one I liked that I altered a little bit.
*******************************************************************************
An Ounce of Brain
A man is lying in the hospital, waiting to be the first person in history to receive a brain t***splant. A doctor comes in and says "Congratulations! But unfortunately since this is a new procedure your insurance isn't going to cover it all. So we're going to give you 3 choices for brains and you can decide which you can afford." "Okay, what are they?" Says the man to the doctor. The doctor says "Well, first there's the Republican brain, that's $100 an ounce. Then there's the Undecided's brain, that'll cost you $200 an ounce. Finally there's the Democrats brain. That's the most expensive at $1000 an ounce." The man looks at the doctor, surprised. "That's absurd! Why is the Democrats brain so expensive?"
The doctor turns to him and says
"Sir, do you have any idea how MANY Democrats it takes to get an ounce of brain?!?"
https://www.ba-bamail.com/jokes/political-jokes/?jokeid=1508
Nov 17, 2022 18:11:51 #
Nov 17, 2022 18:12:54 #
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