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The Cremated Husband
Sep 22, 2022 12:06:00   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
The Cremated Husband

Martha recently lost her husband. She had
him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he
was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her
fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.

"Herman, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it
with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,

"Herman, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also
bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing h er fingers in the
ashes she said,

"Herman, that emerald necklace you promised me? Bought it too,
with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said,

"Herman, remember that blow job I promised you? ......Here it comes!"

Reply
Sep 22, 2022 12:35:48   #
Tiptop789 Loc: State of Denial
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
The Cremated Husband

Martha recently lost her husband. She had
him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he
was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her
fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.

"Herman, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it
with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,

"Herman, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also
bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing h er fingers in the
ashes she said,

"Herman, that emerald necklace you promised me? Bought it too,
with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said,

"Herman, remember that blow job I promised you? ......Here it comes!"
The Cremated Husband br br Martha recently lost h... (show quote)


.

Reply
Sep 22, 2022 13:43:43   #
Doctor Dave Loc: Madisonville, Tx.
 
Herman finally caught a breeze.

Reply
 
 
Sep 23, 2022 09:10:22   #
Big dog
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
The Cremated Husband

Martha recently lost her husband. She had
him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he
was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her
fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.

"Herman, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it
with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,

"Herman, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also
bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing h er fingers in the
ashes she said,

"Herman, that emerald necklace you promised me? Bought it too,
with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said,

"Herman, remember that blow job I promised you? ......Here it comes!"
The Cremated Husband br br Martha recently lost h... (show quote)


Ouch

Reply
Sep 24, 2022 16:44:07   #
crazylibertarian Loc: Florida by way of New York & Rhode Island
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
The Cremated Husband

Martha recently lost her husband. She had
him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he
was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her
fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.

"Herman, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it
with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,

"Herman, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also
bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing h er fingers in the
ashes she said,

"Herman, that emerald necklace you promised me? Bought it too,
with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said,

"Herman, remember that blow job I promised you? ......Here it comes!"
The Cremated Husband br br Martha recently lost h... (show quote)




A woman had her husband, John, cremated and kept his ashes in an urn on the mantle. Visitors would come and flick the ashes off their cigarettes into the urn with his ashes. Months went by and a visitor looked in the urn and remarked that John was gaining some weight, lately.

Reply
Sep 24, 2022 17:17:01   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
crazylibertarian wrote:
A woman had her husband, John, cremated and kept his ashes in an urn on the mantle. Visitors would come and flick the ashes off their cigarettes into the urn with his ashes. Months went by and a visitor looked in the urn and remarked that John was gaining some weight, lately.


That would be just my luck since I've been over weight most of my life.
I just hope that at my funeral someone says....LOOK HE'Z MOV'N!!!

I weigh 300 LB....and I keep a list of a$$wholes that piss me off and I put them down to be pallbearers at my funeral!!!

Most of the stupid people that piss me off are liberals here on OPP.....Dam there'z a bunch of them!!!

Reply
Sep 24, 2022 19:53:03   #
crazylibertarian Loc: Florida by way of New York & Rhode Island
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:

Most of the stupid people that piss me off are liberals here on OPP.....Dam there'z a bunch of them!!!


That makes two of us. I don't think that there are more than one or two I'd want to have a beer with/

Reply
 
 
Sep 27, 2022 22:02:41   #
okie don
 
Airheads!

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