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Substituting For Slatten
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Nov 5, 2014 00:40:50   #
AuntiE Loc: 46th Least Free State
 
Slatten is assigned a Wednesday amusement. He is visiting with family. I am posting this in his stead.

I own the fastest car

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?".

The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000."

"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure" replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!

The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.

Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn't be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!

WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.

The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"

| Reply
Nov 5, 2014 08:22:09   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
AuntiE wrote:
Slatten is assigned a Wednesday amusement. He is visiting with family. I am posting this in his stead.

I own the fastest car

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?".

The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000."

"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure" replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!

The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.

Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn't be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!

WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.

The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"
Slatten is assigned a Wednesday amusement. He is v... (show quote)


An oldie but goody. :thumbup:

| Reply
Nov 5, 2014 10:23:49   #
Tasine Loc: Southwest US
 
AuntiE wrote:


The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOVE IT!! I'd not heard this one before. Hilarious!

| Reply
Nov 5, 2014 13:58:24   #
Armageddun Loc: The show me state
 
AuntiE wrote:
Slatten is assigned a Wednesday amusement. He is visiting with family. I am posting this in his stead.

I own the fastest car

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?".

The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000."

"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure" replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!

The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.

Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn't be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!

WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.

The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"
Slatten is assigned a Wednesday amusement. He is v... (show quote)


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

| Reply
Nov 6, 2014 11:15:57   #
bahmer
 
AuntiE wrote:
Slatten is assigned a Wednesday amusement. He is visiting with family. I am posting this in his stead.

I own the fastest car

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?".

The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000."

"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure" replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!

The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.

Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn't be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!

WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.

The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"
Slatten is assigned a Wednesday amusement. He is v... (show quote)




:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

| Reply
Nov 6, 2014 16:44:19   #
Armageddun Loc: The show me state
 
bahmer wrote:
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Sam walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”
After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.
“By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?”
“The Electric company, Water company, and Cellphone company”, Sam replied.

| Reply
Nov 6, 2014 17:55:08   #
Tasine Loc: Southwest US
 
Armageddun wrote:
Sam walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”
After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.
“By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?”
“The Electric company, Water company, and Cellphone company”, Sam replied.


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

| Reply
Nov 6, 2014 18:32:53   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
So,this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "You know, all lawyers are assholes."

Another guy at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I heard that and I resent it".

The first guy says, 'Why? Are you a lawyer"?

The other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole".

| Reply
Nov 6, 2014 20:44:58   #
Armageddun Loc: The show me state
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
So,this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "You know, all lawyers are assholes."

Another guy at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I heard that and I resent it".

The first guy says, 'Why? Are you a lawyer"?

The other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole".


BUWAWALLLALLLLAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I would guess his name but would probably get hit in the head with a rusty fryin pan.

| Reply
Nov 6, 2014 20:46:31   #
Tasine Loc: Southwest US
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
So,this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "You know, all lawyers are assholes."

Another guy at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I heard that and I resent it".

The first guy says, 'Why? Are you a lawyer"?

The other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole".


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol: Love it. So the guy met Brian, huh?

| Reply
Nov 6, 2014 20:52:13   #
rumitoid
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
So,this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "You know, all lawyers are assholes."

Another guy at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I heard that and I resent it".

The first guy says, 'Why? Are you a lawyer"?

The other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole".


Never knew that was recorded; how somewhat embarrassing.

| Reply
Nov 6, 2014 20:59:56   #
rumitoid
 
rumitoid wrote:
Never knew that was recorded; how somewhat embarrassing.


The Blonde State Trooper pulls over a blonde. She approaches the vehicle and says to the driver, "ID please!" The Blonde maneuvers the mirror for the officer to see and says, "See, it's me!" The blonde State trooper says, "You're under arrest for impersonating an officer: that's me!"

| Reply
Nov 8, 2014 14:13:13   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
rumitoid wrote:
The Blonde State Trooper pulls over a blonde. She approaches the vehicle and says to the driver, "ID please!" The Blonde maneuvers the mirror for the officer to see and says, "See, it's me!" The blonde State trooper says, "You're under arrest for impersonating an officer: that's me!"


warped but very funny

| Reply
Nov 10, 2014 21:54:57   #
alabuck Loc: Tennessee
 
AuntiE wrote:
Slatten is assigned a Wednesday amusement. He is visiting with family. I am posting this in his stead.

I own the fastest car

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?".

The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000."

"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure" replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!

The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.

Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn't be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!

WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.

The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"
Slatten is assigned a Wednesday amusement. He is v... (show quote)

-----------
Click on the link below...
"Little Nash Rambler," by the Playmates

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enqNl7tdLR4

| Reply
Nov 11, 2014 00:23:25   #
AuntiE Loc: 46th Least Free State
 
alabuck wrote:
-----------
Click on the link below...
"Little Nash Rambler," by the Playmates

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enqNl7tdLR4


My brother's first car was a very old Nash Rambler.

I will be at The Wall today.

| Reply
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