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Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man
Jul 27, 2022 17:33:30   #
dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA
 
Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man



I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.


My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
She then said, "That's what you did yesterday!"
I replied, "I WASN'T DONE, SO I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING RIGHT NOW."


The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then
would have asked, "About what?" At that point, I would have had to explain that
men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.


Finally, I pondered an age-old question:
"Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?"


Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting
kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?


Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come
up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful
than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is
the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often
say, "It might be nice to have another child."


On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts!”


I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.



Reply
Jul 27, 2022 18:02:04   #
Roamin' Catholic Loc: luxurious exile
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man



I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.


My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
She then said, "That's what you did yesterday!"
I replied, "I WASN'T DONE, SO I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING RIGHT NOW."


The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then
would have asked, "About what?" At that point, I would have had to explain that
men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.


Finally, I pondered an age-old question:
"Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?"


Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting
kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?


Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come
up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful
than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is
the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often
say, "It might be nice to have another child."


On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts!”


I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.
Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man br br br br I m... (show quote)


LOL! πŸ˜„πŸ‘

Reply
Jul 27, 2022 18:53:01   #
Parky60 Loc: People's Republic of Illinois
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man



I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.


My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
She then said, "That's what you did yesterday!"
I replied, "I WASN'T DONE, SO I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING RIGHT NOW."


The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then
would have asked, "About what?" At that point, I would have had to explain that
men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.


Finally, I pondered an age-old question:
"Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?"


Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting
kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?


Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come
up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful
than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is
the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often
say, "It might be nice to have another child."


On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts!”


I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.
Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man br br br br I m... (show quote)

After snide comments to my wife, she always asks me if I would like a swift kick in the nuts. Thanks for this post because after reading it to her she has a new appreciation for not making that threat.

Reply
 
 
Jul 27, 2022 21:52:54   #
Marty 2020 Loc: Banana Republic of Kalifornia
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man



I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.


My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
She then said, "That's what you did yesterday!"
I replied, "I WASN'T DONE, SO I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING RIGHT NOW."


The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then
would have asked, "About what?" At that point, I would have had to explain that
men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.


Finally, I pondered an age-old question:
"Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?"


Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting
kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?


Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come
up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful
than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is
the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often
say, "It might be nice to have another child."


On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts!”


I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.
Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man br br br br I m... (show quote)

Good one!
I’m forwarding it 😁

Reply
Jul 29, 2022 14:21:14   #
MidnightRider
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man



I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.


My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
She then said, "That's what you did yesterday!"
I replied, "I WASN'T DONE, SO I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING RIGHT NOW."


The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then
would have asked, "About what?" At that point, I would have had to explain that
men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.


Finally, I pondered an age-old question:
"Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?"


Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting
kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?


Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come
up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful
than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is
the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often
say, "It might be nice to have another child."


On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts!”


I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.
Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man br br br br I m... (show quote)


That's funny. You don't really want that kick though when you're old as we are it hurts more. I never talk about my Vietnam days with my wife. I do think about them, adopted my daughter there. So why don't I talk about them? Well, I'd get a third degree "Why didn't you tell me that long ago?" It was another lifetime, let me finish this beer. "What else aren't you telling me?" And it won't stop until I'm in hospice care if I get lucky, or I'm dead. That's about 20 years from now if I guage it right. My uncle was 104, grandparents were 100, mother 97 4 bouts with cancer, I'm 72, I'm doing okay no vax. You know, I haven't taken a nap in about 30 years. A friend said at 60 they become mandatory. I can never find the time.

Reply
Jul 30, 2022 00:44:29   #
Marty 2020 Loc: Banana Republic of Kalifornia
 
MidnightRider wrote:
That's funny. You don't really want that kick though when you're old as we are it hurts more. I never talk about my Vietnam days with my wife. I do think about them, adopted my daughter there. So why don't I talk about them? Well, I'd get a third degree "Why didn't you tell me that long ago?" It was another lifetime, let me finish this beer. "What else aren't you telling me?" And it won't stop until I'm in hospice care if I get lucky, or I'm dead. That's about 20 years from now if I guage it right. My uncle was 104, grandparents were 100, mother 97 4 bouts with cancer, I'm 72, I'm doing okay no vax. You know, I haven't taken a nap in about 30 years. A friend said at 60 they become mandatory. I can never find the time.
That's funny. You don't really want that kick thou... (show quote)

Good for you, outrun nap time for as long as you can. It’ll keep you busy and alive.

Reply
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