PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

The Importance of Exercise:

Walking can add minutes to your life..

This enables you at 85 years old

To spend an additional 5 months in a nursing

Home at $4,000 per month

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My grandpa started walking

Five miles a day when he was 60.

Now he's 97 years old

And we have no idea where the hell he is.

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I like long walks,

Especially when they are taken

By people who annoy me.

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The only reason I would take up walking

Is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

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I have to walk early in the morning,

Before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

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Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',

I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

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I do have flabby thighs,

But fortunately my stomach covers them.

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The advantage of exercising every day

Is so when you die, they'll say,

'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'

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If you are going to try cross-country skiing,

Start with a small country.

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I know I got a lot of exercise

The last few years,......

Just getting over the hill.

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We all get heavier as we get older,

Because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

**************************************

Every time I start thinking too much

About how I look,

I just find a pub with a Happy Hour

And by the time I leave,

I look just fine.

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You could run this over to your friends

But just e-mail it to them!

It will save you the walk!

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

My Doctor told me exercise would be good for me. I said " are you nuts? I've seen that movie and it scared the hell out of me!" I know Linda Blair was an actor, but still.

MrEd Loc: Georgia

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

I just emailed this to eight people.

:lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup: :lol:

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Who ate them? Not you I hope! :mrgreen:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I appreciate the advice, Salty, but it took all I have in me to make it over to this thread on the OPP...sitting at my computer. :oops: I'm exhausted.

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Don't apologize. I suffer from the same affliction.

alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa

but once you get over the hill it's easier going down the other side and a lot faster too

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Yeah, after you fall and roll on down...it's faster. :oops:

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Sometimes too fast.

rumitoid

Very funny. Loved it. Finally someone with a Liberal sense of humor.

alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa

that's contradictory first you say it's funny then you say it's liberal it can't be both as liberals don't have a sense of humor and not much of any other kind

alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa

A small zoo in Fayetteville, North Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.


Thinking about their problem, the zoo keeper thought of Larry, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Larry, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The zoo keeper thought they might have a solution.


Larry was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?


Larry showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:


"First" , Larry said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The keeper quickly agreed to this condition.


"Second" , he said, "she must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.


"Third", he said, you can never tell anyone about this the keeper again readily agreed to this condition.


"Fourth" , Larry said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.


"And last ", Larry said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00".

rumitoid

A fish! Was just bait saying a a liberal sense of humor. Sorry. Stop wiggling.

just care

That is hilarious! I live out west and hope you don't have the volume on in response to this reply ( its only 10 pm here I don't want to wake anyone) but you and old gringo made the perfect end to my day.