[SATIRE] CDC Recommends Being Fully V******ted And Also Getting C***D For Strongest Immunity Health
Parky60
Loc: People's Republic of Illinois
ATLANTA, GA—In newly updated guidelines, the CDC is now recommending getting fully v******ted and also getting C***D to achieve the strongest C***D immunity possible.
"To achieve robust immunity, you must be fully v******ted, then get a booster, then get a second booster, then get a third booster, and then get C***D," said CDC director Rochelle Walensky. "In addition to these things, you must also triple-mask and isolate yourself indoors at all times. And then, maybe get C***D again. If you do all those things, you should be pretty safe."
Experts with the NIH, HHS, WHO, FDA, FBI, CIA, and the Bureau of Indian Affairs all have confirmed the CDC's findings as "infallible and immutable."
"It's important we do everything we can to stop this v***s," said Walensky. "Please get C***D as soon as possible so you can be immune."
On the heels of the CDC's announcement, P****r is contributing to the fight for immunity with an expensive new service that just sends someone to your door to sneeze in your face.
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